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Fed up with partner after baby and unsure whether to stay

2 replies

Concorn202 · 01/09/2026 20:01

I need some serious advice from strangers on the internet because I don’t feel I can talk to family/friends about this and want to know if I’m being the irrational one.
Basically, I feel at the end of my tether with my partner. For context, been together 6 years, not married, we live in his house and he is the breadwinner. I’m not on the mortgage. We have a child together.
Things have been rough since pregnancy and improve here and there but not really. We both agreed never wanted kids, got pregnant, I wanted to keep them, he did not. I gave an ultimatum but he chose to stay with me and keep the baby. Anyway, pregnancy was rough and the first 6 months of baby’s life really. Very limited involvement and clearly was not happy. It was brutal. Anyway, things have improved but I still do the lions share of everything for our child. He has supported me financially and I cannot fault him for that at all. Allowed me to go to part time (back full time now) and supported with costs during maternity etc.

i feel like he now resents me though. He is a very challenging person, can he really aggressive and absolutely hits the roof over any mess. We have a dog and he is devoted to the dog but does not show the same emotion toward me and child. We NEVER have sex, I’m bored of instigating but it’s making me fed up. I would never push though. We didn’t have sex once during pregnancy and then it took about a year. Now it’s every few months. I feel way too young to be having this little sex although I know it’s not the be all and end all. He is also very right wing and just seems to want to find the negative In everything. He is only happy when in his routine, won’t do spontaneity. I just don’t know what to do, I can’t afford the life my child has now solo, I know for a fact he would push for 50/50 which would break me so i don’t feel splitting up is an option. I know I’m also so financially vulnerable and kick myself for having a baby when not married. Argh I just feel sooooo fed up!!
this isn’t even a question really, just a rant and a plea from others who’ve maybe been in tbe same situation. I try and talk but it never seems to go in and nothing ever changes!

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 01/09/2026 20:05

You think he’d want 50/50 care of the baby he didn’t want, doesn’t really look after and thinks less of than the dog? That seems highly unlikely. Even if that’s what he says he won’t stick to it.

The relationship is clearly dead so make plans to leave as you’ll have to sooner or later and you’re better prepared if it’s your decision.

WarmHare · 01/09/2026 20:18

Set things in motion to leave, even if it means staying longer than you want, start saving money, look for full time employment & additional childcare that is needed when you increase your hours etc.

Don’t let on that you are planning to leave, you need the element of surprise if he currently has the financial upper hand.

Get some legal advice & good luck.

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