Would love to hear from anyone who’s been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD as an adult

[Brightbluestone]

Sorry I think this is going to be quite long! Various people have told me for years that they think I have adhd. I’m not convinced but I guess I can see where they’re coming from. I wondered if anyone whose been diagnosed with the inattentive type as an adult (especially if you’re a similar age to me or older, I’m 40) could tell me if my brain/habits/symptoms sound similar to theirs?

As a teenager (age 12+) all my school reports said stuff like “has potential but needs to apply herself, always daydreaming, extremely disorganised, makes careless mistakes, homework always late or half-done, can’t focus on a task” etc. Other kids used to call me a space-cadet cos I always had my head in the clouds. However I wasn’t like this as a younger child and my home life situation went drastically downhill around age 12 and I became very unhappy, so this may explain it instead. When I left school I stopped being spaced out all the time and became more confident and present. Since then I’ve learnt what other people have called coping mechanisms but things I thought were relatively normal- I’m completely dependent on a never-ending to-do list on my phone that I literally add everything to, even things I know I won’t forget. I look at it multiple times a day to make sure I don’t forget to do anything. I constantly feel overwhelmed at the amount I have to do (even though my life is way less busy than most people I know). I have a lot of trouble concentrating for any length of time if something is boring, I zone out and get extremely restless. I hate sitting around chatting for hours in groups of people, even if they’re people I love and the conversation is interesting. There has to be an activity involved like eating dinner, playing a game etc. if there isn’t I find myself getting up and fixing things, kicking a ball around if there’s one there. I can’t stand sitting at a dinner table chatting after I’ve finished eating. If it’s a pub situation I end up getting much more drunk than anyone else cos I drink too much to deal with the boredom & restlessness. I have an inability to prioritise. I’ve put things off for so long that I’ve ended up with huge fines for not paying things on time, losing holidays cos I didn’t pay the balance on time (even though I had the money and I knew it needed to be paid), I don’t open my letters cos I don’t want to deal with what’s inside. I let them pile up then open them maybe every 3 months in big piles when I feel I can deal with it. I can be intensely focused & organised on something I enjoy or get satisfaction out of. Eg. I recently spent 3 hrs online researching the best hoover to get at the best possible price despite having much more urgent things to do. So that’s the jist. Does this sound like you if you have inattentive ADHD?

I think I have it too. I had all the same as you at school etc.. constantly daydreaming. I really struggle. I think I am going to pursue a diagnosis too.

Hiya
Just recently diagnosed as combined type. 40s.
It sounds similar to you. I was on a waiting list for 2 years. Drove me crazy. I have no patience.
Good luck, op.

Hi, Brightbluestone. You can probably find some other discussions about this on this site if you have a search; that might be helpful to you. I have a diagnosis of inattentive ADHD, received in my late forties. Some of what you say sounds like characteristics I can see in myself (daydreaming, procrastination, hyperfocus), and other parts do not (physical restlessness, drinking, boredom with things you say you do find interesting).

!i probably have it, but cant see what a diagnosis would do

I suspect I have it, school reports were full of not fulfilling my potential, though my daydreaming was mostly ignored because I even though I didn't listen to the teacher I'd figure out what we were supposed to be doing by reading or looking what others were doing. Mind wanders constantly during conversations and I need to do something with my hands to try to focus on anything. Developed coping mechanisms as well so never really sought diagnosis (mentioned it once to a psychiatrist but he said I'd need to make a new appointment to discuss that and I never did) but now as I'm getting older (40 next month) it feels like the wheels are coming off, I forgetting so much more these days, which is affecting home and work, and I'm starting to worry. But it still seems so difficult to seek diagnosis. Starting the process for my son now though, maybe that will give me the push I need.

You have two choices; attempt to gain a diagnosis before significant changes happen which is likely as the system is a mess.

Don’t get a diagnosis but learn all you can about how to maximise the coping strategies. Which may include seeing a coach/ therapist. And you’ll have off days/ weeks etc. And daydreaming can be seen as mindfulness - it’s more of a problem where you’re loosing money due to fines etc.

You may be able to get meds if diagnosed but that’s becoming increasingly difficult so it is starting to beg the question of what the point is.

fwiw, a lot of what you describe is familiar but I’ve learnt so many tricks over the years. I also have hypothyroidism and am hypermobile which I think makes things harder. Following a resistance training app and eating more protein earlier in the day has been hugely beneficial.

I’ve spent so long obsessing over self improvement cognition hacks to know that a diagnosis wouldn’t help me. I also teach send children and have learnt a lot from what we do there to apply to myself. It’s not perfect by any means but I have learnt to be self compassionate too.

One issue is that the nocebo effect can be very real. I prefer to identify exactly what I’m really struggling with and try to work out ways to improve it. Eg tackling doom piles is more effective when I’ve done some jumping around before and have something nice lined up afterwards.

changing my diet helps, some supplements such as b complex, omega 3 and zinc seems to too. A lot of fresh air and exercise.

The irony is we cba to seek the diagnosis 🤣🤪

I have - I'll try to reply properly in the next few days - hopefully tomorrow but who knows with inattentive ADHD😆

I know right? I'm waiting for the second stage of assessment now, me and my combination ADHD brother trying to do the forms were really struggling 😂

At least it sounds like you've got school reports to refer back to? That's a worry with mine, I don't have anyone left who knew me to give a good referral for my childhood. Brother is younger than me. My mum is dead, Grandma and uncle weren't close enough to describe how I was and my grandma would not be up to the task anyway at almost 90. No school reports left and not even many family photos because my mum led a very chaotic life. Hopefully it leads to some clarity and I'm past the first stage, esp as I had two brothers and my mum all diagnosed with AuDHD

Sounds like being a human to me. Making to-do lists, feeling overwhelmed at times, getting bored and restless at things that dont interest them etc...all totally normal.

I’m diagnosed with both ADHD and ASD. What you describe does sound similar to me but there’s also a lot more than that. What stood out is that you started having difficulties with at the same time as something going badly wrong with your home life. Did you have any traits as a child before age 12? That’s what they’ll look for in an assessment. What were your school reports before then?

Many ADHD and ASD traits are normal human traits, it’s the intensity, frequency and degree of how much you’re affected by them that makes the difference. For example most people get overwhelmed at some point, but the frequency and intensity of it and how you’re affected by it is on a completely different level if you’re ASD and/or ADHD.

I’m very self critical and self reflective - conscientious was a term always used by teachers which when young I didn’t really understand or like. I think because it was me trying so hard it was painful to do what everyone else was. It’s led to frequent burnout as an adult.

However I also know that so much good has come out of it. And I prefer to focus on my strengths and achievements. And try to reframe a lot of other issues, find solutions.

the cancer drug I’m on is making it all much harder, as is menopause and I’m not allowed hrt. So it’s forced me to find other methods. I use a lot of the techniques the OTs at school use with out inattentive pupils.