How to appreciate these years before my teens leave home

[Sophy12]

I have 2 young teens. I am looking ahead to 5 years when I could have an empty nest and feeling sad. What should I be appreciating now?

Everything! Their crazy humour. Their outrageous, exasperating, half-baked opinions. Their noisy gatherings. Their stupidity - they will do stupid things. Their growing independence. Their annoying habits/mess. Their ever-evolving personalities. The family jokes. Holidays. Yes, teens can be hard work, but there's so much to enjoy!

Embrace their interests, whether that's boxing, football, fashion, health and beauty whatever. Remember to still hug them and tell them you love them. I actually miss taking care of them, doing their washing etc! When they come home visit (the two that have left) I just have this overwhelming urge to take care of them, cook them their favourite meal, wash all their clothes and send them back with a new toothbrush!

Yes everything! Also, if you possibly can, try to start building ways of spending time with them that you can continue to do as they grow - for us it's long walks with a pub lunch, and also train rides with or without enforced card games. We've enjoyed these so much with our older teens and they are things we can just fall back into when they return.

This.

One thing I missed when my eldest DD left home, especially, was the buzz in the house. She was the louder one of the two, always laughing, always popping her head round the door to say 'Hi', always chatting. My youngest is much much quieter so I felt the physical change much more with my eldest.

I did get used to the lower noise levels of only having one at home but then when she went off to Uni, that is when it really hit me.

I remember getting up one morning and the house just felt strange and quiet and almost like the soul of it had gone. I remember feeling really sad in that moment and I remember sitting down and looking through old photos and remembering the family moments where we were all together. The fun, the noise, the meals, the games, watching TV together, laughing, joking, being silly. And it was all gone. Life had changed. My kids had grown up and flown the nest. So it was a period of readjustment to go through, for sure.

So just try and cherish it all, even the shit stuff. One day you will miss the sound of laughter from their rooms, the noise of their music, the slamming of doors and the running up and down stairs.

I have again, got used to the quietness now of the house, and really enjoy it, and I love my new life with just myself and my DH. So you do adjust, even if it feels awful when it first happens.

But I adore it when I get both home at the same time and I love seeing my DD's together acting like kids with each other again. It warms the heart.

So yes, take it all in and live in the moment and just enjoy the years you still have them at home.

Spend money on holidays with them whilst they still want to go away with you.

Oh god I have one more year then my last one will leave 😢 he turns 18 at Christmas. I coped better with the older two leaving because I always had another still at home. I’m trying to spend more time with him but year 13 is a hectic year at school, and he’s in a football team, and he has a little job too, so not much time for mum!