Would you attend a preschool class party if you barely knew anyone?

[TheCosyRain]

My child turns 4 in November and attends a preschool for kids age 2 - 4. Despite being there nearly 2 years she’s not yet made any particularly close friendships. And neither have I with any of the other parents. She was invited to 2 whole class parties neither of which we could make.

She wants a party for her birthday and I’m happy to invite the whole class but we’re a bit worried none/very few would attend.

If you have children this age would you take your child to a class party regardless of not being familiar with the parent or your child not being close to the child whose birthday it is?

Yes

I took my dd to any party she was invited to when she was little, including whole class ones.
That's despite me not knowing many parents at first because I worked full time and also being pretty rubbish socially myself.

Parents do seem to be worse at replying to invitations these days (judging by Mumsnet) so be prepared to do a lot of chasing.

Yes

Yes, how else do you get to know parents?

Children aged 2 - 4 do not develop close friendships. They may play with certain other children and enjoy that, but they are fully absorbed in their own selves - other people are only vaguely real to them.

The only way for parents to get to know other people is to spend time with them and make the effort.

Reassuring replies thanks! I’m still a little nervous we won’t get much interest but I think I’m going to go for it anyway

Yeah I’d take my kid to any party she got an invite to if it was someone in her class

Of course.

Yes. I'm massively anti-social so I actively avoid making friends with other parents but I took my kids to everything at that age and encouraged them to make friends and socialise. Make sure its a fun, relaxed party where exact numbers don't matter too much - we just hired a smallish bouncy castle in the garden for DS's 3rd birthday - and remind people to RSVP, but they'll still have a great time even its just a few of them.

Yes. This is completely normal and you'll go to many parties in the next few years where you just stand about making small talk to people you don't know.

Yes. That’s the majority of pre school parties I went to.

I wouldn’t stop my child going to a party because I didn’t know the parents

Yes, we took our kids to everything at that age - they’ll enjoy the party even if they’re not close to (or barely know) the birthday kid.

Make clear on the invites that you need to know by x date to confirm numbers, then only book for the people who have confirmed, that way you don’t waste money. I’d usually book a couple of extra spots (for people who forgot to reply/turn up with an unexpected sibling).

And for that age make clear that a parent needs to stay or you’ll get cheeky types who just drop off their shy 4 years olds for you to look after.

Yes.

Yes I take mine to all parties they are invited to regardless of whether I know the parents, as long as we didn't have anything clashing timing wise.

Yes

This might be vaguely true for some children at 2 but not 4. Do you know many children ? I can assure you that by 4 most are completely capable of forming close bonds and attachments with their peers. ‘Other people are only vaguely real to them’ sorry what a load of rubbish.

OP I would. In fact DS is turning 5 the end of the first week of school, I’ll be handing out invites to his bouncy castle party to whoever I see at the school gates 😂

Yes absolutely. I made one of my very good friends at a preschool birthday party. I then held a party for DS when he turned 4 and everyone turned up.

My DC are adults now, but yes at that age I would have taken them to any party they were invited to provided we were free.

I agree with this.

Two year olds - definitely not
Three year olds - starting to get there
Four year olds - definitely

DS left nursery aged four years and seven months. That was thirteen whole months ago and his friendship with his nursery bestie is still going strong, despite attending different schools. He’s also always pleased to see his other friends from there if we bump into them at soft play or a park.

Yes. Little girls copy their mother’s actions so it’s important to model healthy socialising behaviour for your child to learn from you. Otherwise she may grow up feeling awkward & isolated.

Yes, this is how you meet other parents

Yes, it’s about the children not the adults. We didn’t really know many of the parents well at my son’s nursery but they still came because their kids were friends with mine (or friendly, and their friends would be there too).

Parties are pretty much the only way I have got to know the parents.

Of course. Why wouldn’t you?

I am fairly shy but many years ago I read an article and said had anyone realised people like talking about themselves more than anything else so ask questions. The next party I went to I was introduced to a couple who travel the world teaching English as a foreign language. I asked them about their careers and which was their favourite country. The next time I saw the host she said Well you are no longer shy, the couple thought I asked intelligent questions and had even said Your friend is so interesting to talk to. So I think that is the key ask about the people you meet. It doesn't have to be anything deep.

Yes, for sure