Risk averse 16 yr old. We need advice!

[maldivemoment]

All advice/suggestions gratefully received. Our 16yr old is possibly the most risk averse kid I’ve ever come across (and I’m a teacher, so I’ve seen a lot)

I’m sad for him because the risk aversion is really holding him back. He’s very aware of it, which doesn’t help.
He’s about to turn 17 and all his peers are getting driving lessons for their birthdays. Either that or they have passed their test & already driving. Our son is so against the idea of learning to drive because it scares him.

If anyone can recommend any books I could read / strategies I could try to boost his confidence, I’d be most grateful. I’d also love to hear of anyone who has raised a risk averse child!

Many thanks in advance

Just leave it and say he can get around on bike??

Driving isn't obligatory??

When you say risk averse is this a general anxiety thing?

driving maybe not so much of an issue (bikes, public transport) but is he also anxious/risk averse about eg going to school/uni?

Not about raising a risk averse child, moreover from being one. I learnt to drive at 26 because learning at 17 terrified me. The overwhelming sense of responsibility for this fast moving metal thing that could kill someone or myself, my god it was intense and no way was I interested. My friends were learning/passed and happily gave me lifts everywhere. My little sibling too used to pick me up and drop me off too, near daily, as soon as they turned 17. I always offered coin to cover petrol and for the inconvenience for anyone who gave me lifts.

I did eventually learn, aged 26. I think for me I just needed to grow up a little more and for it to be my own choice rather than "you're 17 this is what you must now do, your path is mapped." I'm quite comfortable driving now. And way less risk averse generally the older I got until I started my own family. I even managed a tandem skydive!

Remove pressure or expectation around driving. Would he cycle?

I was very anxious about driving. The only way to get over it is to do it. Maybe an intense course might help even if he doesn't pass at the end?

General risk aversion I would encourage him to go to something like a sailing club or whatever they call the older scouts (adventurers or something?)

@Octavia64 thank you so much for sharing your experience in such a calm & eloquent manner. I am so reassured by this.

Thank you others, too. Always helpful to hear shared experiences.

@canuckup. Not sure much was offered but thank you for contributing.

I was also determined not to drive at 17, it just felt too risky for me, and I didn't get a licence until I was 34 but it was never an issue. Tbh, based on the state of the roads and other people's driving, it could be said to be a reasonable approach! I wasn't risk averse in all areas of life, though. You can learn at any age, but you have to be ready.

My DD1 was terrified of learning to drive. Just did not want to... hyper aware of being behind the wheel of a huge lump of fast moving metal.
Not risk averse in other areas... her time at Uni had some tales which would make your toes curl😆
She had to really want and need to drive before she finally started lessons aged 32... and now loves her little car. None of my kids were desperate to drive but all got there in their own time !

I don't think he needs to learn to drive as soon as he turns 17, as long as he can get himself about by other means and isn't constantly asking for lifts.

But is his risk averseness holding him back in other ways? If his friends suggest doing things and going places he's never done or been to before, does he join in enthusiastically, or does he look for reasons not to?

Another one who didn’t drive til late twenties, not even consciously that fearful but just didn’t want to, was quite happy on public transport. That said, once I passed I loved it, but I had to work that out in my own time. If this is the only area I’d not be concerned at all, more pleased that he knows himself and won’t just do it because his mates are.