Dog distant with me after office days despite day care arrangement

[Oldmamabear]

I worked from home for 2 years and just started returning to office. Ive got a lovely but highly strung dog. Ive arranged dog day care for office days. They pick him up morning and hes gone for about 3 hours (varies) hes brought back then they come back a few hours later for a wee stop and a cuddle. Im back a couple of hours later. Hes not in a crate he has run of downstairs, fresh water, radio on so its not silent. He has lots of comfy sleeping spots and toys. When I get in he has the hump for about 2 hours turning his face away or sitting and staring at me. He wags tail still and seems pleased to see me . If i nip to shop he is elated when I come back but it takes a good couple of hours of chatting and acknowledging him, making a fuss of him etc before he starts to return to normal with me if i been at the office. I see the videos of him at dog daycare having a great time so I dont think he is not enjoying his time there. Does anyone else's dog do this not really speaking to you cos you been out without me routine?

He’s just got the hump with you becuase you’ve changed his routine.

My dog is the same! Doesn’t take a lot to piss her off, she’s a creature of habit.

We’re on holiday this week. Lovely walks, beaches. She’s furious. Misses her house and her sofa, she’s got a face like she’s auditioning for a dogs trust advert.

We’re just back from holiday. Ddog had been treated like a prince at a home boarder but will as usual sulk and give me the side eye for a couple of days. He stinks and needs a bath but I’m holding off until he’s over his mood!

I feel a bit sorry for your dog. He's used to being with you all the time and now he's on his own for 5 hours. Is this every day?

Why can't he be at day care all day?

Yes of course he's sulking. You've changed his routine and he now spending load of time on his own. Dogs want company, not toys and a radio!

What was she supposed to do, give up her job?

Shes had to go back to the office. The dog is in daycare for some hours of the day. Maybe it’s not affordable to put him in all day?

My friend had to do the same. She got made redundant after doing a WFH job for many, many years. She’s now out of the house 8 hours a day. A dog walker comes twice for an hour, once for a walk and once for a play and some company. It’s expensive but what can she do, rehome her dog and give him even more unhappiness and upheaval?

i think If it’s not affecting his broader well being and you still have a good relationship together I wouldn’t worry too much. How long have you been back in the office for? I’m sure he’ll soon get used to it.

dogs are allowed to be grumpy, it sounds like he has big emotions, and you’re very good at reading how he feels.

are there any other new changes (eg new partners or people taking up your attention when you’re at home?)

Correct. Its very expensive as is the travel plus they dont have space yet for all day so I cut my office day short to get back asap. Radios are better than silence. We were told after covid Noone would come back to office except for monthly meetings. They served notice on parts of the building and kitted out areas for people who wanted to come in and for meetings. I moved house to be 5 mins away, coupled with dog day care he would not be on his own for long if i went in for meetings. Whilst I worked from home they moved 20 miles up road and then everyone had to come back in office. Hes not alone for more than 3 hours. Yes I feel sorry for him too but doing best I can in circumstances. I just wondered if anyone else's dog got the hump wasnt expecting guilt trip comments. Hes a well loved, well cared for dog. Not perfect circumstances but better than being shipped off somewhere else in the hope they could do better or their circumstances wont change too. Thank you to those who have made supportive comments and to those who havnt maybe you will have to deal with circumstances beyond your control one day and realize there aint always an ideal solution

Yes they do this.

a bit like toddlers they object to you leaving them.

Thank you No other changes. Its just me and him and our ginger cat.

@Oldmamabear what you believe is 'having a great time' can often be 'allowed to be a hooligans day care, so this could well be him objecting to having to come home. Truthfully, I wouldn't worry. Just don't fuss him when you arrive home.

Lol! I love this answer and im buying it true or not. He does have a great time with other dogs which is great to see

Does anyone else's dog do this not really speaking to you cos you been out without me routine?

I think you are attributing excessively complex reactions to him that he isn't capable of. You mention two behaviours, looking away from you, and sitting and staring at you. The first of these is likely to be an attempt to diffuse tension - to calm you if he feels you are in some way overwhelming. The sitting and staring probably indicates that there is something that he feels that he wants from you.

I'd think more about the details of his day, rather than imagining some sulky reaction to you. Does he get excessively tired/overstimulated at the daycare? Is the period alone too long? Is the contrast between the super-stimulation of daycare and the subsequent solitude too much for him to deal with well?

How many days per week are you at the office?

Is the radio tuned to R4 or R3?

Anything else is selling him short.

Dogs aren’t stupid.

@Oldmamabear you say he’s not alone longer than three hours but you also say he’s at daycare for three, then they drop him off, come back a few hours later, then he’s left again for a couple of hours - so it sounds like it’s 5 hours total everyday, just not all at once, is that right?

It could be that actually, the mid afternoon toilet break is disrupting him and then you come home again a couple of hours later and disrupt him more.