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Head vs heart over wanting a 3rd child

2 replies

Purppppl3 · 24/08/2026 22:06

Silly post and the situation is we wont have another child

Im 28 have a 4yo and 2yo. Struggled massively since 2nd child and so did mine and DH relationship which is just mending now really (starting to)

Dh works away so is gone Monday then back Friday evening. So im alone a bit then on weekends he is just so used to me doing everything I have to remind him he can help

He doesnt want a 3rd so thats the conversation closed in my eyes unless he changed his mind alone but it'd never work well me pushing for a 3rd when he doesnt want one

But I have this weird ache. I have always wanted 3 kids even growing up I always thought I wanted 3 or 4 I wanted a bigger family. I feel sad never getting to experience pregnancy again or another baby. Never getting to the early stages again despite it being tough! Unsure if this has come around as DS2 is getting more independent he is so advanced for his age so it feels. Abit like hes a little kid now haha!

I know im only young before anyone comments but DH is 36 so has highlighted he is older and if we wait and try (which could take time) he'd be getting older, so less energy etc (one of the reasons)

How do I shift the slight ache im getting of accepting I probably wont have another child? It sounds so odd I dont know why I keep thinking it and feeling sad

OP posts:
comealongdobbeh · 24/08/2026 22:08

I have 2 kids and whilst I know I don’t want another, I do experience that ache. Knowing I won’t be pregnant again, or have a baby again. My youngest is 3 now and with each stage, as much as I love it, it also reminds me I won’t go through this stage again. I’m also working this time around so missing more than I did with my first - a whole separate kind of ache.

I guess I dont have any advice. Just that you’re not alone

dinoderry · 24/08/2026 22:14

You don’t have to make the decision now. I’m 32 with a 3yo and a 1yo and plan to start trying for a third in a year or so. DH would happily conceive another now but I want a little break to get myself back!

Unless he gets a vasectomy the door isn’t really closed.

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