Banned from my local supermarket after an argument with a member of staff- my language was bad though.

[Alderedge1]

So today I’ve been banned from my local supermarket, I’m not proud of what happened but I think that the member of staff was also in the wrong.

i was in the fruit and veg aisle looking to get some pre- chopped melon. The ones that come in sealed plastic pots. They were stacked quite tightly and some of the dates were quite soon, so I decided to go towards the back, in doing this I accidentally knocked 5 or 6 pots off the shelf. Immediately a female member of staff was on me- telling me “ you’re supposed to take the ones from the front”. I apologised for knocking some of them from the shelf but explained that it was my choice to choose the date that I wanted. By this point I had reassembled the display, so no harm done. She carried on chuntering so I said something like “ it’s really not a big deal, let’s move on”. As I went to walk away she said, “ it’s just not on”. I’m afraid this is where I let myself down. She was a small pointy woman of about 60 with short dyed red hair. I asked her what her problem was and she said “ customers like you thinking they own the place” to which I replied ( I know this is bad) “fuck off and shut your cunt up you fucking crackhead Anne Robinson lookalike”. It’s not often I take such a low blow but I had a rough upbringing and when I’m really pushed it emerges. The lady stormed off.

as I was leaving a manager asked me if I could step into an office for a chat, I said no thank you. She then said well I’m afraid that you won’t be able to shop here moving forwards.

so that’s that. Not proud of my mouth but she was a fucking horrible twat.

Oh dear, up until your sweary outburst I would say you are entitled to look for a better date. The people in store doing the .com orders do it.
But swearing and insulting an employee just isn't on and I'm glad she was backed up by her manager.
Possibly buy a 'sorry' card & bunch of flowers. We all have off days & maybe you were both having one 🤔

And your arguement for why they were wrong to not tolerate abusive customers is.... ? .

Good on that store.

😂

@Alderedge1 You will mostly get it in the neck posting here. I can see that you feel bad, want to unload and find a way to move on. I have not done anything quite like that but I do know it's always a shock to the system when you get so dysregulated that you do something totally out of character. Forgive yourself and move on.

Well the language is unforgivable, but she sounds like she did need putting back in her box, so I’m a bit on your side OP.

Your behaviour was absolutely disgraceful OP, really bad.

I worked in a shop and have been reduced to tears due to a customer words which were very similar, all I did was ask for ID. The manager escorted her out, and banned her.

Just absolutely no excuse for such abusive behaviour.

Well, I come from a council estate and live in a house in the country side with big gates, land and a herd of ponies that I ride. Some working class kids are clever and talented and can get ahead, even if they have to go to a state school in a rough area. Imagine....

What do you expect from this thread? You were abusive and nasty to the staff member. You have been rightfully banned from the store. Case closed.

Everyone will know about you and who you are and how you treat people @Alderedge1 within about a week.

Disgraceful behaviour.

TBh I can’t blame the shop for banning you. Shop staff have to put up with so much abuse anyway. Try exerting some self control another time.

I often take items from the back, to get the longest use-by date.
If anybody tried to tick me off for doing it. they would get a very sharp, but nominally polite reply.

I think this too.

Knocking 5 or 6 pots to the ground isn’t nothing...its utterly careless and did you check the pots for damage? Putting them back is grim too..I'd have been embarassed to do that.

I feel awful for the lady you abused. You have no idea what her life is like and you spoke to her in a demeaning way..attacking her and not her conduct.

Really really unkind OP

They weren’t damaged, it was literally a nothing issue. Why wouldn’t I have put them back ? Should I have left them on the bastard floor???

I think it’s 6 of 1 and a half a dozen of the other really. She was extremely unprofessional and you did apologise and you are right to can choose any item you want and you did pick the the things up and she definitely not only over reacted but carried it on. You knocked a few items down it’s hardly akin to punching a puppy, so If I had to swear under oath I can see how you got angry but I can’t condone what you actually said to her

This is a very good post, OP, and I hope you read it. I should have been more compassionate in my posts. What I was TRYING to say was, don't let the awful behaviour you were subjected to as a child become your behavoiur, because you will suffer for it, as you have been doing over this incident. It's good that your feel recognise that you were out of line but you might need some help to make sure you don't tip into abuse when dealing with unreasonable people. It won't change their behaviour but you will feel a lot better.

That's the type of comment you should keep in your head op... you'd be banned from our shop as well. She shouldn't have told you off but it's almost irrelevant after the way you spoke to her.

You'd be surprised how many customers would leave them on the floor tbh. Or put them back in the wrong place for reasons known only to them.

Terrible behaviour - from the sounds of it I was from a background like yours and NO ONE I know before or since speak like that to anyone in a shop.
But gee thanks for getting us council kids a bad name.
Delighted you’ve been banned.

Op my dd can be a bit like you
she has adhd.
Basically its silly because certainly at school she doesnt start it she just completely overreacts AND so end up the one in trouble when it wouldn't have happened if left alone and the bullies all get the reward of seeing her in trouble .
So similar to you, youve ended up with a big consequence which you do deserve but also have the awfulness of the annoying member of staff getting the enjoyment of seeing you banned!

You should have just said well if they had more products with a reasonable shelf life.
a lot recently have not even been lasting 1-3 days why is that still full price?

@Alderedge1 I really wouldn't email to apologise unless you are going to set up a throw away email account with a different name.

As it stands they probably won't have a record of your name, if you email them to apologise they will have and you will probably find yourself banned from all Waitrose stores and John Lewis as well.

It's one of those things that will make you cringe with shame for the rest of your life but there isn't really anything you can do about it now. Going back to the store to apologise will also not help because it won't reverse their decision and will just refresh the memory of manager and staff member as to what you look like - reinforce your appearance in their minds. As it is, give it 12 months and they probably won't even remember.

No shop worker gets paid enough to suffer abuse.

Bought them because you'd bounced them off the floor? I've definitely done that before...dropped something in a shop and thought "oh drat thats mine now"

Explained to a member of staff they'd been on the floor?

You had options as you said staff were right there

Buying a whole melon and chopping it up is much cheaper and last much longer if the concern is self life.

My jaw ACTUALLY dropped when I read this! Did you really say that or is this a wind up?

You should have just complained about her op. Politely.

I didn’t need to buy them! They were fine. They fell about 3 feet and were picked up immediately

Classy

It’s not even a witty insult. It’s just very cringe.