DS1 and I fall out everyday, not huge screaming matches, but definitely raised voices and it really hurts and I want to do better for him. DS1 is nearly 16, DS2 is 11 and has an AuDHD diagnosis (this might be relevant). DS1 gets annoyed by us (this could be something as trivial as me asking how his day was or today I asked if he wanted a lift), and calls us names, fat, massive, huge, weird, he regularly calls me useless, an idiot, stupid. He says I'm a bad mum. He will hit DS2 (and he is tall and muscular), he Will also hit me in a jesty way when I annoy him. He has never been in trouble in or out of school and his exams results were all As and Bs.
I taxi him around, cook, clean, provide, listen, cheer him on, tell him I love him everyday. I am trying to sell our house so we can move closer to his friends and the school. But I can feel uneasy in his presence, like he might get annoyed (this can be as trivial as asking how is day was, or today he got annoyed because I offered him a lift). I don't feel like this woth DS2. He has stopped wanting to spend any time at his Dad's. I have offered him private therapy, no, we had a family therapist and he wouldn't engage. It feels very similar to living with an angry man.
I really really care about being a good mum, I was only 22 when I had DS1 and our circumstances weren't easy.
Are all teens horrible and mean to their family? I want to be better for him, I want him to be happy.