I feel redundant and sad and lonely

[BeAmberRobin]

Recently left the family home and left my ex partner after 22 years ,controlling environment and our older kids stayed at the family home.

My Aibu is I need to get a better paid job and I’m now being given a possible chance to do this but im so scared after all I’ve been through .

I left and was only allowed to take my clothes and pets , I lost all my friends and had to start all over again.

I’m dipping into savings to live each month as I’m paid a low wage , I got a two bed to accommodate my daughter but she is going to uni next year, my ex is better of than me so hence why the older children stayed with him.

I feel redundant and sad and I feel everyone left me I can’t shake of the loneliness I feel right now .

I gave my all to my kids barely seen my son and his girlfriend and my daughter stays every other week , he gets it all .

What do I do thank you to get through this heartache .

It sounds really difficult, and like you have worked really hard to keep going.
I would just focus on one day at a time, rebuilding a safe calm space for yourself.

I really feel for you. I know the prospect of the new job feels scary but it’s a fantastic opportunity to start rebuilding your life. You’ve already done the hardest and bravest part by leaving so you are much stronger than you think.

Small steps you will get there.

I left and was only allowed to take my clothes and pets ,
Have you taken legal advice OP as to what you are entitled to? You were together 22 years and yet you have left with only your clothes?

If you have the chance of a better job then take it. Your confidence is bound to be low after the break up of a long, and what sounds like, unhealthy, relationship. But your self esteem and self belief will grow in your new job.

Time to find what your life goals, passions and ambitions are, what lights a fire in your belly? It’s never a good idea to make your spouse and kids your entire reason for being. They were always going to flee the nest and leave you in this position sooner or later. What do you enjoy? Can you study and do some cpd to build your career? What do you like to do in your spare time? If you don’t know, try things. There’s a big world out there and we get one life, live it!

And yeah get a lawyer and get your half of the assets, why on earth you leaving with just the shirt on your back?

Assume you weren’t married but legally you could have an equitable claim to the house if you contributed to the mortgage and/ or certain upgrades I think?