Why is sharing achievements frowned upon, but admitting envy also criticised?

[YourPithyLemonUser]

Why is it seen as a taboo for me to tell others of my achievements bc it might make others feel bad whilst if I express envy/jealousy of someone else doing the same thing I get in trouble?

Growing up bragging was bad & being humble was good which I think is still the case in real life however on social media it’s ok to brag.

Expressing any envy is considered bad on here but I think it’s a perfectly normal emotion to experience at times.

Its probably just a weird MNs thing

Envy isn’t as normal as the envious would like you think.

Humility is more of a valuable character trait then being a braggart.

so when will i get praised for my achievements

Why do you require praise?

why do celebs get praised? why does donald trump get praised? why do leaders have statues? why does david beckham want an mbe

Well done OP, how's that for you?

Why do you need to be praised? Just enjoy your achievements.

Because it’s seen as boastful. A hideous trait.

Weak people need praise.

Those who grow up with a strong sense of self, in loving and nurturing environments tend to be less needy of the approval or reverence of others.

You obviously have shit friends and family. You friends should celebrate your successes. If they don’t they are not nice people.

If achievement is only viewed through the lens of being a braggart then actually that demonstrates someone who isn’t very nice.

Some people who describe achievement achieved through effort as “well she would, wouldn’t she?” or a sarcastic “naturally!” need to get in the bin.

As are jealousy and belittling people, teaching children that their successes are an affront to others.

I don’t think admitting envy is bad - what were you envious of and how were you expressing it? I don’t think saying you envy someone’s ability to dance for example would get you into trouble or criticised. And you already know why talking about your achievements is frowned upon but it depends on context - sometimes you’re invited to share your achievements.

There is pressure in society to "remember our roots" and not get "above ourselves" and "everyone is as good as everyone else".

None of this is healthy.

I was taught that envy and jealousy were wrong, and as an adult I’m surprised by the number of people who not only indulge in it but think it’s okay.

I think envy is a natural human emotion. It’s not bad, it’s just a feeling. As for celebrating your achievements, I think we should celebrate ourselves and others more. People are motivated by praise.

It’s not seen as taboo in general to tell people of your achievements. People tell others of their achievements all the time.

So what’s going on here?

Are the people complaining not nice people who aren’t happy for you?
Are you talking about something you’ve achieved to someone for whom it’s a sore spot - they couldn’t do the same thing and are personally v sad about it?
Is it how you’re talking about your achievements? Very frequently? Implying those without the achievements are no good? Not recognising privilege?
Something else?

We have no idea what you’ve been saying or who is reacting badly to it so it’s impossible to say if it’s them or you - so much of it is in how you say things, but also some people have real chips on their shoulders too.

Exactly, which is way MNs is so odd about it.

I read about someone who sailed around the world at 16 or similar the other day. I envy their courage & resilience! I don’t have any spite towards them.

Huh?

I don't think it's just 'weak' people who need praise. We are social creatures and most of us only thrive with supportive people around us.
People who are lucky enough to grow up in loving and nurturing environments, and who still live in them as adults, will have been given praise consisently by those around them, so they are less likely to have to actively seek it out.

Surround yourself with people who will celebrate your achievements with you and avoid those who don’t or those that make you feel bad for your success ❤️
Those that care about you will want you to do well and be proud when you do achieve and want to hear about it.

So many bitter people around but don’t let them silence you!

But remember always stay kind, humble, considerate of others

why do you need praise? Celebrities and people of power (presidents/politicians) get just as much criticism as praise, and the whole reason people have an opinion is because the job is done more for the public then themselves most of the time, the very profession relies on people liking them. Your achievements should be things you’ve done for yourself and your own happiness, not for the praise and attention of others, if that’s what you need to measure happiness and success then strive for a job in the public eye.

I'm not sure I suppose it's can come across as needing to use external validation to prove your worth if you brag or talk to much about you're achievements and good fortune.

I have written and had two books published in the past few years, one of which won a prize. I've told hardly anyone about either outside work related circles and I'm pretty sure I have family members who think I am still unemployed. My best friend and husband know and that's it. It just feels kind of weird to say it out loud that I'm a writer.

I'd just rather keep that part of my life separate.

and how do u respond to peers who do tell u abt their achievements?

@YourPithyLemonUser I'm usually nice about them but to be honest if I am close to someone I'm more interested in them than their achievements if you see what I mean. I would be more interested if they were telling me something about their research or practice that fascinated them or they really loved than listening to a rollcall of successes. I suppose success for me is a by product of doing something important to you and if could be anything, recognition might be nice but it's not the main event.

I suppose if someone seemed to identify too keenly with outward success I might think it betrayed a certain need for validation.

I think that’s quite a stingy attitude. How far do you take it?

Acknowledgement, encouragement, praise and congratulations are part and parcel familial relationships and friendships. To try to make withholding acknowledgement or praise into a virtue is really going down the wrong track.
People can do things for it’s inherent good, (e.g. practice an instrument) and still deserve applause. But you seem to view taking pleasure in others applause, or perhaps even receiving applause, as fundamentally problematic. Or have I misread it?