An open letter to tradies

[HollywentLightly]

If the last guy had done the job right, I wouldn't need you. You don't need to suck your teeth and shake your head at me.

I have no idea why the roof joists were put in they way they were, the house was built when I was 6 months old and lived in a different county. There isn't anything I can do about them.

No, I don't know what the last owners asked their electrician to do or why.

OK

If you respond and agree a time but don’t show or cancel more than once you ain’t getting the job - ever….because feck me I’ve sat in waiting too many times to be let down.

If you get here and don’t want the job just say rather than tell me the job you would like to do because you can’t meet the requirements or have just not got the knowledge skills - looking at you bathroom fitter, who by the way should see my beautiful bathroom now which was done exactly how I wanted it

To the other bathroom ‘designer’ you were given a generous budget as bathrooms go but got greedy and priced yourself out of the job.

Builder (or robbing b£&@?£@) I don’t even know where to start but it has took me two years to accept/move on from your bullying behaviour

Most tradies who do a job turn up saying what a pigs ear the last person who did the job made of it.

These days I pretty much expect it as par for the course.

I'd be a lot more surprised if one turned up and sang the praises of the last person on the job.

My house cost a fortune

if I had a £1 for every time someone has told me that the previous job was bodged, or asks me “why on earth has x been done like that” I’d be able to buy the whole vair naice village.

It would be nice if they actually turned up and did the job - and properly - so I didn't have to call your company 3 days on the fucking trot to get someone to return and fix it.

To the mansplaining pig who turned up on tuesday to do the annual gas servicing,you are talking out of your a*.

We asked a gas man to service our boiler 3 years ago (highly recommended by 2 neighbours). We had my son and his partner arriving any hour then (long, sweaty train journey) and it was the run-up to Easter.

Well, long story short, he broke it. Yes, he broke the boiler. Unusable. He was on the Gas Safe register. We didn't even realise as he said "job done" and legged it. When we realised, I texted him and he was SO abusive. My partner took over and he backed down.

Luckily we were able to get another guy the next day who was fab.

The whole time, the first guy was messaging my partner saying things like "you better not get x to fix it, he's crap, give me the name of whoever you get" etc.

He was nuts!

We were all good in the end but I saw him the other day at the petrol station and I felt sick.

It's highly unlikely that your tradespeople will be reading MN; they're all in the loo snorting coke, having a wank and vaping.

They'd be hard pressed to tell a line of coke from all the dust at the moment.

To be fair, they are doing an excellent job, expecting to complete it on time and are overall nice guys. I'm just sick of the moaning.

Not unlike women who own ‘aesthetics’ businesses then!

You're lucky they actually bother turning up. Absolutely nightmare where I am with all the empty promises of phoning back, coming out for quotes etc.

Oh, and the last one (plumber) suggested getting my husband to do the job when I was asking about options to replace my non standard bath panel with a bespoke custom fit solution... he realised his misogynistic mistake when I fired a few daggers at him.