How much do my neighbours hate me?

[Halafel]

I've alwaya thought I was a decent enough neighbour. Say hello, have a short chat in passing, take their parcels in, mostly keep myself to myself, no loud music or parties, but seeing the things others object to in their neighbours, I wonder.

I have a young adult DS. He is quiet as a mouse himself, but works shifts so is either leaving the house at 5:30 am or returning at 1am and he does like to make sure the door is shut properly!

I have a BF with a powerful car. It roars when it's starting up. TBH I do find it a bit ostentatious but as his only fault I'll live with it. 😆 He often leaves here around midnight on midweek evenings.

BF and I have been eating in the garden most evenings we're at home, and we have a chat while we're doing it. Sometimes even a beer or two.

Are my neighbours making threads about me?

The midnight starting his powerful car up would piss me off. I’d totally say something about that - especially if I had kids in the front bedroom

Normal living noise is fine. Doing anything extra-noisily outside normal hours is a dick move if there is an alternative.

Teach your son not to slam the door - it’s unnecessary. Tell your partner to be less heavy-footed when he starts up, or to park further away. If you recognise you’re being loud and lairy in the garden after bedtime, just stop it. But normal noise made at a normal level because that’s how much noise the activity creates - obviously crack on.

Do as you would be done by is a great mantra for life.

Only the car would piss me off. That must wake up the whole street

I have a couple of inconsiderate neighbours with stupid cars who come and go at all hours - so, yes, I’d probably hate you a little bit 😬

The fact that you've specifically listed particular behaviours (not the chatting, that's fine as long as it's not very late) that you know are annoying suggests that you're a)fully aware you are probably winding your neighbours up but don't actually care as your partner and son would have stopped it by now, or b)you're on the wind up.

But reasonably what would you expect me to do about it? Insisit BF changes his car? Stop having guests? Make him park in someone else's street?

The car would fuck me right off. It’s not your problem really but yes it would make me hate you. Especially if someone is then slamming a door at 1am too. I hate inconsiderate people.

What do you think your BF should do?

If you’re specifically worried about your neighbours hating you, then yes, get him to park elsewhere. Personally I’d be thinking twice about a man with a car as a penis extension.

Are we talking about a car that's been modified to make it more noisy? If so I'd expect him to get rid of the modifications or get an Uber.

If it's not modified would expect him to not rev it, to try and park it somewhere non residential if the noise can't be mitigated at all.

Exactly. I'm not detecting much actual concern from OP that people might be getting disturbed at unsocial hours, rather that it's almost amusing.

Midnight? Weekdays?

Yeah - arsehole behaviour

Why does he have a loud car? Does he have a small willy? Is he compensating?

You will be waking them up frequently so...

You sound like you don't care that any of you are being inconsiderate.

Tell your partner to be less heavy-footed when he starts up, or to park further away.

So other people can be pissed off with the noise? Fuck that. He should get it fixed as as clearly its faulty as cars shouldnt be that loud

There's nothing wrong with the car. It's an almost new sporty Ford. It's just noisier than average.

Could he park in a non residential area or car park? It's antisocial to rev up a loud car at midnight.

This. And teach your son not to bang the door. It is not hard.

I’ve lived in my street for 19 years.

I leave home at 4.45am.

my neighbours still like me 😂

One neighbour runs a recovery truck and is in and out at all hours.

We still like him!

Most people get others have different lives as long as in general you are a decent person.

Why does he leave at midnight?

People are crazy, if a car starting at midnight is going to ruin your whole night’s sleep you probably shouldn’t live near other people. It’s all part of living in a neighbourhood with other houses close

The neighbours opposite us have 2 cars with those roary loud type engines. It actually doesn't bother me too much as they are only in and out a couple of times a day - just background noise now.

It depends how loud the car is really 😅We have two neighbours that leave for work between 4 a.m. and 5 a.m. on motorbikes - one is obviously less powerful and doesn't wake me up. The other has a long warm up cycle and is very loud and absolutely wakes me up! Fortunately in winter he takes the car. Although I do realise there's nothing to be done about it, like your boyfriend's car, I still get annoyed.

The door slamming from your son would probably give me righteous rage, though, as I'd expect you both to be able to do something about that.

Life has gone so weird now. I feel totally out of step with it. On the one hand we are so permissive, don’t judge anyone, just be kind, when actually I feel we should be judging. And on the other hand we expect not a single piece of friction or inconvenience to puncture our little bubble, like someone leaving their house at 12 or going to work early in case we hear them doing it.
Most of us live in big community groups of neighbours and therefore we surely expect
to hear the noises of humans talking, playing, working, laughing, listening to music, we hear their dogs, their DIY and all the other activities that makes them human. Of course it can cross into antisocial noise and the government are very clear on the parameters of what makes something anti social noise. But otherwise WHY would anyone live cheek by jowl with others then complain that others exist?
Just crack on and live your human life I say.

It wouldn't bother me but I would feel for young parents with a little one who doesn't sleep well. I remember those years, two of mine were poor sleepers and it was hell.