How much do my neighbours hate me?

[Halafel]

I've alwaya thought I was a decent enough neighbour. Say hello, have a short chat in passing, take their parcels in, mostly keep myself to myself, no loud music or parties, but seeing the things others object to in their neighbours, I wonder.

I have a young adult DS. He is quiet as a mouse himself, but works shifts so is either leaving the house at 5:30 am or returning at 1am and he does like to make sure the door is shut properly!

I have a BF with a powerful car. It roars when it's starting up. TBH I do find it a bit ostentatious but as his only fault I'll live with it. 😆 He often leaves here around midnight on midweek evenings.

BF and I have been eating in the garden most evenings we're at home, and we have a chat while we're doing it. Sometimes even a beer or two.

Are my neighbours making threads about me?

They will hate you for the car thing for sure, can't say about the other stuff. I am sure you son is capable of shutting the door quietly ? If he is slamming it then yes another reason to hate you. As for talking in the garden, depends on how loud/respectful you are.

I hate cars that have those stupid exhausts, fucking annoying. Everytime one goes past me I say to the dog, oh dear, that guy clearly has a very small penis 😂

We’re packed in like sardines. Alarms and phones are quieter now thank goodness- years ago, a neighbour went on holiday without turning off their morning alarm and it went off every few minutes from 6am til 8am.

It’s constant and when stress levels are high or sleep is poor it’s really hard to tolerate. I’d be surprised if our neighbours can tell when we’re in or out, as we’re generally very quiet.

We live in houses with better sound insulation and more space than at any other time in modern human history.

Is your son capable of learning how to close the door quietly and of understanding why he could be annoying people? If yes, then teach him.

As for the penis substitute, I think he should take it to a garage & ask them if there’s anything they can do about the noise.

If your son is not making sure he closes doors quietly at those ungodly hours, that would piss me off.

If you BF is revving his car at midnight that would piss me off.

If you are talking in the garden past 9pm that would piss me off.

I call bull, it's a sporty new ford, new cars aren't noisy. You're clearly on a wind up. Your son bangs doors in the early hours, your boyfriend has a noisy car and leaves late at night, you are chatting in the garden etc. You're either not very socially aware or trying to wind people up. Get a new hobby.

If your bf is being a noisy fucker with a stupid car you can depend on it. Or at least bad-mouthing you.

Inconsiderate prick that he is.

In my experience, people with loud sporty cars actively enjoy making as much noise as possible and rev the thing with unnecessary enthusiasm. They want people to KNOW they have a loud sporty car.

No it's just a regularST model and he doesn't rev it, but it is noticeably louder than my ordinary car, which makes me a bit conscious of it.

I don't think it's particularly awful but I wonder how others find it.

You asked if your neighbours would hate you for it - and specifically listed the car - so you already know its its twatty. Now you’re getting defensive!

Essentially you might split up with loud car man but you’ll still have to live next door to your neighbours.

Get him to go home earlier

Doesn't need to be if he isn't revving off like he thinks he is in a scene from the fast and the furious...just showing off if that loud.

Tell your son not to slam the door.

Tell your BF to take his car to the garage and get the engine checked - a well maintained car shouldn't roar when it starts up.

It's really simple.

OP insinuates that it's one of those cars with engines that absolutely roar - the kind teenage boys and scumbags tend to own. Not just 'a car starting'.

Try putting yourself in the position of your neighbours. How would you honestly feel? Especially if you had a kid in bed.

Slamming doors is pretty stupid, as it often takes more effort to slam them than it does to shut them quietly.

I used to live in a house with someone who used to slam the door so hard the whole house shook. I warned them that eventually the door would fail. Apparently I was talking rubbish.

Then one day they slammed it and the lock broke. Then apparently I was supposed to stay in the house to wait to get it repaired, as they couldn't get the time off work and had a load of expensive PC/sound gear that they didn't want nicked.

You can guess how that conversation ended.

regularST model

You expect us to believe that? If its noisier than average he has absolutely modified it and made some after market tweaks. But you continue being defensive. He is causing a noise nuisance and that will be why your neighbours hate you.

He really hasn't. He wouldn't know where to start!

Coincidentally, I have the same car in a regular 1 litre ecoboost engine and his is noisier than mine. Maybe it's not unreasonably noisy, but it is noticeably noisier than mine which makes me feel a bit conscious of how it might affect the neighbours.

The same with DS and the door. I sometimes hear it, but I don't know how noisy it seems to others. He's not deliberately slamming it, but I'd say not making a lot of effort to close it quietly either.

In terms of how I'd feel in their shoes I'd probably be glad I wasn't the neighbours a few doors down who've had noisy BBQs every weekend all summer, and a bit impressed that the family had managed to raise two teens through to adulthood with us barely realising they were there.

Pleased that the house and garden is tidy and well maintained, that the residents are easy to ask if you need a favour or a parcel taking in.

I posted because there seems to have been a rash of posts about how people are affected by their neighbours' behaviour, often things that seem like normal daily life to me.

OP when you said a powerful car I thought you meant one that really roars not a kitten roar 😂
As long as he drives off as soon as he starts it then it would be a inconvenience nothing more.
Sitting in the garden as long as you are aware of voice levels then thats ok, son coming home again as long as he is mindful of slamming doors, not talking loudly on phone etc then no problem.
I would imagine your neighbours might find it irritating at most.
I had a car that was loud and really powerful, when I spoke to my only neighbour ( about 100m ) she said they didn't set their alarm clock as I used to leave at the perfect time for them to get up!

My neighbour (who doesn't work and blasts music all day long) has a daughter who gets home every day at 1am, and has her car music absolutely blasting. Then she just sits in the car long after she's parked, just still playing music. It's a small estate and she must wake up half of it. She then slams the house door so hard when she does go in that we feel the vibrations. (terraced. Never doing terraced again once we sell)

We put up with a hell of a lot from this family, much more than is normal. They literally play music all the time, and the mother has taken to singing along very loudly and badly. Hours, every single day.

Your partner starting his loud car at midnight, and the fact you've done a laughing emoji about it, tells me you don't really give a shit.

I don't mind NORMAL household noise. Not at all. I'm 50 and from London, I'm very tolerant of normal noise and have always lived in terraced houses. But moving up north and having these horrid people next door who don't work ans enjoy winding people up has done my head in. (It's a nice estate and most do seem to work but she once said she got a large inheritance so was able to get this house)

The ostentatious car would annoy me, and would really put me off DP tbh

The car is the only thing that would really annoy me. My neighbour has one and his wife was talking to me last week and said "DH is working away tonight, he left for the airport just after 5 this morning"......yes, I know, the whole bloody street heard him leave!!

I don’t know. I find anyone, that needs a noisy car, to make it seem like they've got a big dick, to be a bit weird. 🤷‍♀️

It wouldn’t bother me. I have neighbours that eat outside loads recently. They are loud and play music. That annoys me, probably cause it’s not great music. Plus I wfh and can’t have my window open as their music is heard on calls.

but what annoys me is the many video calls they take. Don’t see why I have to hear this.

otherwise lovely people. I just have an issue with public video or loud speaker calls.

I think this is ok and normal behaviour that should disturb neighbours. None of this would bother me - sure we have a lot more comings and goings on our busy street and car alarms going off sometimes. Nothing like that would wake me up though - I’ve never been woken by anything outside the house and neither have the kids to my knowledge. I would hear normal neighbourhood noises when I’m up but they wouldn’t bother me.

'he does like to make sure the door is shut properly!' sounds like he slams it, which is irritating as it's avoidable.
The powerful car at midnight in the week is a bit antisocial IMO.
Eating/sitting in the garden; tricky. My next-door neighbours were doing this a few months ago. Only two people, talking, not shouting or fighting, and not playing music or phones or anything, but my windows were open as it was warm, and it was after 11pm on a Sunday night. I did get up and call out of the window to them to be mindful of the noise as it was a work night. They called back 'Sorry'. I don't know what they look like, so don't know if they've been blanking/glaring at me in the street ever since! I hope not. I felt a bit conflicted about it; I know they weren't doing anything outrageous, but it was keeping me awake.