It's a wedding moan!

[DumpedByText]

I met my oldest friend for dinner tonight, we've been friends since we were in primary school. Our mums were friends until mine passed away.

We keep in touch by text and see each other when we can.

Her daughter is getting married next year, big posh do in at a lovely venue.

Tonight she told me I didn't make the day invite list, but I can go to the evening. The venue is not local, I'll need to stay the night and I know it won't be a plus one invite, so I'll be on my own.

I'm so hurt, I've finally realised I don't really mean anything to them. I've always been a better friend to her than she has to me. It's always me that intiates contact, suggests plans etc

I know they can invite who they like, and weddings are expensive, but this stings!

So, would you suck it up and go or decline and I'm thinking of booking a holiday that week!

grow up

its not your friends wedding but her daughters

I think it’s strange to not have a plus one. That’s just my opinion.
Don’t go if it is going to inconvenience you.
If you want to pull back from the friendship then do so. However don’t make this a hill to die on. Let it go.

We don’t actually know that. The OP hasn’t been back to the thread since her first post and hasn’t said anything about how close she is to the bride.

Unless having a huge wedding, most people don’t invite their parent’s friends. An evening invite is completely appropriate.

Here’s what I posted on the other almost identical thread on this topic

I didn’t invite any of my parents friends to my wedding.
it never occurred to me to invite them and it’s never occurred to me that they would be bothered by this
your friendship is with the parent. Not the daughter.

Why on earth would you expect to be invited to any part of the wedding? You aren’t the bride’s or groom’s friend or relative. Very bizarre.

Don’t be absurd OP, for goodness sake. It’s her daughter’s wedding, not hers. I can’t imagine why you ever thought you would be invited.

Two of my kids have just got married (not to each other, don't panic). My very very long term friend (who has known them since they were born) wasn't invited to the wedding because - well, she hasn't seen them since they were at school! She sent them each a card and her best wishes and she got a slice of wedding cake in return, which was all that was expected on both sides.

She's my friend not my kids' and she only knows them because she's been around them with me.

I think you are reading too much into this.

It is her daughters wedding not hers, I couldn’t get worked up over this.

I agree, I most likely wouldn’t travel a long way and stay overnight for an evening do by myself and would probably decline. But I would not be offended at all.

I would decline. Personally I’ve never understood night guests. You either want the person there or don’t. I definitely wouldn’t travel to a wedding to be a night guest.

Not that hard to understand. Weddings are expensive and it would be nice to invite everyone to the whole thing, but it costs too much, so you do what millions of others do and invite some to just the cheaper evening bit to allow you to see more people on your wedding day. You can want them there but not be able to afford to have everyone there all day…

If you’ve got to travel, for just an evening do, and it’s not a plus one, I’d just politely decline, and send the happy couple a card and some sort of voucher.