DC overexcited and silly at mealtimes, how to manage?

[Acuppaand]

How do you manage this situation? DC are 7 and 4. They adore each other and generally play quite well together. Almost too well, such that they get started on some silly nonsense thing and they're just lost in peals of laughter. It's adorable and I'm sure I'll miss it when they're older. BUT it is like they are lost in a tunnel of hysteria and you can't get through to them, which is alright if they're just rolling about on the floor but extremely irritating whilst we're trying to have a meal.

I've tried cutting them off, I've tried ignoring, but nothing seems to work, until eventualy I completely lose my patience and end up being shouty. Which snaps them out of it for all of five seconds and then they start up again. Any suggestions?

Put dinner on table
Everybody sits down to eat
If kids misbehave tell them to stop being silly it's dinner time
Clear table after 20 minutes

Is it just comments they make or are they goofing around, prodding each other, leaving the table etc etc?

We eat all meals together, every day, at the table, no screens.
We start off alright but then one will say, "hey, want to hear a joke?" and it rapidly devolves into some sort of nonsensical hilarity ("and then the horse had wheels and there were wheels on the cheese") and then they're just lost in the laughter and one-upping each other and laughing hysterically. They don't leave the table. Even more frustrating is that 4 yo manages to take bites of dinner between this and actually clears her plate but 7 yo is so lost in the silliness that he doesn't eat. (He tends to be the slowest eater anyway.)

This doesn't happen every night but ... several times a week? Just now at lunch and I sent them up to their rooms for an hour of quiet time. I reckon they're both a bit tired nearing the end of summer holidays but I honestly don't know how to manage this behaviour and it makes me so cross.

As soon as one of them (probably the younger one) has finished send him off to play to split them up. It does sound like they are just getting tired and silly and are actually eating their food too, so could this be a "you" issue being irritated rather than them actually doing anything wrong? Is dinner worse than lunch? If so can you have quick food for dinner like sandwiches and hot food for lunch?

have you tried promising them something after the meal, eg if you both eat nicely with good manners and no silliness, we’ll go to the park for half an hour after tea?

or you can have an extra chapter of tonight’s book of you behave well.

I'm laughing just thinking about it. Sorry OP, no help at all. Sounds very annoying though.

Mine were the same and are still like it as adults. It's great that they get on though! They seem to have their own little world of hysterical laughter.

I don’t understand what they’re doing wrong. They’re just laughing. If it annoys you then don’t make them sit at the table?

I was like this as a child op, I was a laughing child I found the funny in everything, so did my sister we only had to look at each other and laughing started.

My mother hated it even if we was outside laughing she hated it, we found fun and joy and laughter where we could.

We never grow out of it either still the same.
My mother we have no contact with well was a grumpy old sod and most probably still is.

What time is dinner? Could it be that they’re in that silly/ tired stage. Maybe move dinner earlier?

What's the actual problem here, OP?
Are they leaving their food?
Eating with their mouths open (which would drive me insane) because of the laughing?

Still like it as adults?????
Jesus Christ that’s insane they can’t conduct themselves the dinner table!

id separate them and make them eat on their own - first one sits and eats and goes away then the next one or one in the kitchen one in the dining room/lounge wherever -
no way would I put up with this! It would drive me absolutely insane. I don’t go to work all day, come home and prepare a meal to have this shit!

Agree with this, it sounds like the only actual problem is 7 yo being too distracted to eat, in which case send younger one off when they have eaten then 7 yo can finish in peace.

Other than that, you could put on an audiobook for them to listen to?

Thank you, no writing it out sounds somewhat absurd to be annoyed by. And I reckon there is an end-of-the-day exhaustion component. And honestly it's somewhat endearing if it's just...on the bus or the tube or queuing for something. Elderly people look lovingly at my children having endless cackling giggles and entertaining themselves. But when it's mealtime it's just so bloody annoying! And it's also that, once they've started they can't really stop. And then my oldest doesn't eat.

We usually end up letting the youngest leave the table and play whilst the oldest stays and finishes on his own but it feels a bit dire? I suppose I'd like us to have a meal altogether, but perhaps that's not a realistic expectation at this age?

What do you talk about during the meal before the silliness starts? They need engaging in something else, which will take their mind off it.

Also see if you can spot a pattern of who winds up who first.

@Savvysix1984 we eat at 5:30! Can't really move it much earlier due to work/school run/afterschool club

I think if they’re just chatting and giggling you sort of just need to get over it?
If they’re fighting and winding eachother up you maybe do a time out away from the meal until they behave but you can’t really punish giggling at home at the dinner table.

@bitontheobtuse thank you - yes, we just talk about what's happened during the day or anything really that they're interested in (how does an eclipse work, what is a glacier, when do we see nan again, etc). Keeping an eye on the instigator is a good idea, thanks.

@Marroon thank you, it's just that it's well beyond just giggling. It's sort of hysterical laughter to the exclusion of the rest of the universe. They cannot contain it once it's unleashed. I am SURE I will miss this and remember it fondly when they are older but right now I swear it's doubling the grey hair on my head 😑

Just sounds like they are happy and get on well.

I know noise is irritating to some but would you prefer the other option that they are boring and unhappy?

Would it help to zoom out a bit and consider the question "whose problem is this?" ? As I've a feeling it may be yours (said with kindness). If they're eating and not being rude, perhaps take some deep breaths or wear some Loop ear plugs? Do you have a partner? Maybe one or two evenings week you get a break by eating alone in another room?

Or perhaps set a timer for and ask them to be quiet for first 5 mins then they can let it all out?

It does sound irritating OP, esp when it's every day and at a time when you're no doubt frazzled enough 💐

You can’t necessarily ban or stop behaviour just because it’s doing your head in though. Sometimes you just need to suck it up.
Realistically the alternative is more likely to be fighting rather than sitting in silence.

Oh they sound so cute but I’m sure it’s annoying. The first one to finish gets to leave and have a treat. Maybe try that.

Hi OP

GOD YES

I have DD1 11yo and twins 8yo.

DD1 is quite sensible. But put her in a room with overtired twins and within 5 mins it's all "imagine my bum was made of cheese" etc 🙄

With mine, it can degrade into tickling or poking each other and then downward slope from there.

I honestly do get very snappish and not proud of how I deal with it. But for what it's worth

Maybe separate out "bad" behaviour from just irritating kid behaviour. Like, laughing and telling jokes is actually dinnertable conversation. As long as they are eating and not making a mess.

Divide and conquer. If 4yo is done sooner, immediately tell them out for bath/ bedtime. Then, tell 7yo "okay it's calm time now, focus on eating your dinner. If you finish by 6.15 you can stay up/ have another story".

It is tough though. Sometimes I can rise above but last night mine were going really nuts whilst I was making dinner and I did tell them off sternly, then felt bad.

I think you are taking it all a bit seriously. Mealtimes with children are about getting the food in to them, and having a bit of a laugh (if you are lucky) and cleaning up without spilling too much.

You won’t be having conversations about glaciers etc. that sounds a bit boring? They are children. It’s their mealtimes too, just get them fed and move on.

When my children were that age I had music on in the background and we would all pick a song each during dinner. It was the best I could come up with. You could probably come up with something too to suit your family. They sound gas. Good luck x

Oh my goodness the nostalgia this brings to me.
Mine were two years apart and those giddy outbursts are some of my fondest memories of their childhood.
No idea how you would stop it but it's a phase, like many others and they won't do it forever. I do remember getting cross once or twice and regret it in hindsight as it feels like crushing their spirit.

Can you set an egg timer (or something more modern) when the joking starts, and give them a time limit to stop.