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Going away without my 2yo and feeling awful about it

3 replies

feelinglikealoser · 18/08/2026 20:39

I’m due to go to the States for a week to see family with my 7-year-old, who is autistic. I also have a 2-year-old, but I decided not to take him because travelling from the UK to Long Island with both of them for just one week felt like it would be incredibly intense, particularly with the flights, transfers and jet lag for the toddler.
My 2-year-old is staying with his dad, who he is very close to.

We normally have 50/50 custody, so he’s very used to being with his dad and spending time away from me, and logically I know he’ll be well looked after and with someone he loves and feels safe with.

But now the trip is actually here I feel absolutely terrible about leaving him. I already miss him and keep thinking, will he wonder where I am? Will he be sad? Will a week feel like forever to him?

I’ve suddenly started wondering whether I should somehow take him after all, even though I know that would make the trip much harder.

Has anyone with 50/50 custody left a 2-year-old with their other parent for a full week? Were they absolutely fine? Did they miss you terribly, or was it much worse for you than it was for them?
I think I need some perspective because the mum guilt is really getting to me.

OP posts:
Anothercake · 18/08/2026 20:44

You've made the right call, and it's perfect that you already have 50/50 and this will just be an extension of his norm rather than you leaving the family home for a week and everything feeling different. Have a good time in the States!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 18/08/2026 20:49

You have 50/50 custody so how will he even no you are gone?

feelinglikealoser · 18/08/2026 23:27

Thankyou @Anothercake! Hoping you're right.☺️
@ToKittyornottoKitty we usually only have a couple days away from each other so 6 days feels like a long time

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