DD14 lost money. What would you have done?

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Just curious about the split of opinions really.

DD just turned 14. She ended up with about £70 in cash from grandparents in cards etc. This is a huge and exciting amount of money to her (tbf I wouldn't mind it myself...).

I've been nagging her for a couple of weeks to not leave it lying around, that if cash gets lost that's it etc, and that for safe keeping she should put it in the bank where it would be safe and could even earn a bit of interest. She has a bank account with a card etc but never uses it. She says she prefers cash, I think just because she likes to look at it (it's not because of conspiracy theories or some old skool attachment like some people like cash).

Anyway, the other day we went shopping. She was going to spend her money. Surprise surprise she left her purse in the toilet at the shopping centre. She remembered ten minutes later, ran back and... It had gone. She was so upset, in tears, sobbing that it had gone and she'd never get it back.

Amazingly someone had handed it in, so we did get it back ten minutes later. When she'd calmed down I said again that we could get rid of the risk entirely if she had listened and put the money in the bank.

I have thought subsequently about what I'd have done had the money not have been handed in and she would have lost it for good. Would I have replaced it, or let her learn the hard lesson. I like to think that I teach them life lessons but I'm not sure I could have stood by with her so upset.

What would you have done?

Shows that there are still some honest people about.

If I was able to I would have replaced it with a hug and a reminder that this is the consequence of being careless with cash - and that I was replacing it only on this occasion.

I think I would have made her learn a lesson even if I had been so tempted to replace the money! 14 is old enough to be responsible with possessions

I would have replaced it.

I wouldn't replace it. She's 14, old enough to look after her stuff.

It would be a bad idea to replace it. How do you learn if you are cushioned from the consequences.

But surely it’s important to learn consequences? Leaving your purse behind means that you may lose all the cash in it. Putting it in the bank means that you don’t. Keeping hold of your purse means you don’t.

She can then choose what to do in the future but it will be in the full knowledge of the consequences of each choice.

As I said I’d replace it.

What about the next time she cba to ensure she keeps it with her?

I think the feeling she had when she realised she lost it would be enough to stop it happening again. I’d prefer to give the £70 than my DD remembering her 14th birthday as the one where she lost all her birthday money.
Why does it bother you that we parent differently?

It doesn’t bother me - I just think that 14 is plenty old enough to understand that if you don’t take care of your stuff, you risk losing it.

Okay, so a bag or something that will hold the purse/phone etc without getting lost.

Actually, scrap that. I guess at 14 they should be able to look after there stuff.

I agree. I lost my purse with my holiday money I had saved in it when I was 10, so 48 years ago. I still remember the awful feeling when I realised it was gone when we were on holiday (still remember the exact place) - I was a very responsible, very serious girl and I was normally very good at looking after my possessions, but I made a mistake. It felt shit - and no, my parents didn't replace it. Them replacing it didn't teach me a lesson, the lesson was learned as soon as I realised it was gone.

I wouldn’t have replaced it, the lesson would be worth much more than £70.