What should you be doing versus what are you actually doing? ADHD edition.

[ElsaMars]

Comiserate with me and tell me your 'should be doing, actually doing' to make me feel better.

Should be:
Tidying house for house sitter
Packing for holiday
Getting self ready for holiday, nails etc
Erm, working.

Actually doing:
Working, a bit
Looking for a new car online (that I don't currently need or want the stress of sorting)

I'm in completely paralysis, argh, it's so annoying!

Should be: prepping for a meeting.
Am: on this thread! (Before, I was doing the daily LinkedIn games.)

I was in massive paralysis about a bit of work I needed to do the other day. I spend 2 (non-work) days trying to catch up but just didn't do it.

A good friend of mine made me just set a 5 minute timer and just do it for 5 mins at first and see if I could get back into it, then every time I got distracted from the task I messaged her and she just said "set the timer".

This went on for about 8 goes until I finally found my flow and got into the task, so it actually worked in the end, I was surprised!

Can you try something like that? Just start with 5 mins on a timer? And if you get distracted come here but - and this bit is important! - don't get distracted by the rest of Mumsnet

Should be

-Showering
-Clearing out my room (started 3 days ago so it is now more of a mess than it was before).
-Mopping my floors
-Walking my dogs.

Actually doing:

Watching The OC
Trying to get the courage to call the mechanic
Booking theatre tickets I can't afford (my son is 16, so this might be the last time he agrees to come)
Checking work emails even though I'm not in work for another 2weeks.

But, in my defence, in the last 5 days I have scrubbed both bathrooms, pointlessly as they just need replacing at this point.
The same for the kitchen, cleaned throughout but cupboards basically falling apart.
Cleaned the carpets to try to eradicate the smell of dog, which seems ingrained in the house.
Completely decluttered and cleaned my son's room while he was away.

All of this is completely our of character and will probably be back to it's usual state once I am back to work!

Getting dressed for my therapy appointment in 40 mins.

Instead I am using AI to mock up photos of my bathroom with a new sink unit.

I feel slightly better, thanks for sharing. I should also add, I can't afford the car I'm looking to buy.

I tricked myself and said, I will JUST clean the bathroom mirror, ended up doing the majority of it apart from the dreaded shower screen, so some progress.

The 5 min thing can definitely work.

Should be working (employed work).

Am on mumsnet and dealing with invoices for my own business (in fairness, ADHD-related or otherwise) I get my work done very fast and am not going to get behind or affect anyone else by doing this.

Should be catching up on reports for work
or doing a couple of important jobs for in the house

i am on Mumsnet. Have just tidied up my email, and deleted lots of unwanted stuff. Made several cups of tea. Researched about some admin and made a couple of phone calls - needs doing but not on today’s list of jobs !

Supposed to be uploading O&M documents for completed works. Instead I’m reading Mumsnet and trying to prevent myself from buying another pair of adidas samba Jane’s.

Should be:
DUSTING
I should have done this and have not done it in 2 months. Hoovering fine, meal prep too. It's just dusting is so complicated. As soon as I start I get distracted and I start to do something else😣. It's the whole moving objects that gets in the way. I'm not lazy otherwise- just can't get around to do it.

Should be getting showered and going out to shops,
Randomly googling new cookers as we will be moving in a few months and ours is staying as built in..

You’ve dusted in the last 6 months?! I think I might have dusted last on Christmas Eve!

Should be:
Working - although its very quiet today so im doing a lot (some) of reading on new technical regulations coming into the industry

Im actually:
Looking for a non food advent calendar for teen ds
Reading about the lindsay clancy trial
Waiting for the trial to start today so I can watch it while working.

I woke up feeling really ill so its going to be a slow day!

Thank you! You made me feel better. I actually did it today! Writing down how hard it is really helped. I must have spent max 15 minutes getting it done so it wasn't like a major job or anything. Just so hard for some reason.

I really really struggle to dust and so far havnt come up with anything to ‘get me to’. My process for laundry is wash and dry and leave in washing baskets for approx a week. I then put it all away (while watching PBS America!) without ironing (I must wear ironed clothes though) so when I want to wear it I’ll get it out and iron it as there is no way on earth I can stand and iron for longer than 10 minutes. My jobs are the bathroom and laundry, hoovering and mopping. My husband does everything else because I don’t have the patience to get anything done properly! My mum had a poem about dusting! I’ll see if I can find it!

Dust if you must, but wouldn't it be better
To paint a picture, or write a letter,
Bake a cake, or plant a seed;
Ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there's not much time,
With rivers to swim, and mountains to climb;
Music to hear, and books to read;
Friends to cherish, and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world's out there
With the sun in your eyes, and the wind in your hair;
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain,
This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it's not kind.
And when you go (and go you must)
You, yourself, will make more dust

Rose Gilligan

I'm scrolling on the sofa. Should be sorting the kitchen and getting ready for bed. It's almost impossible to go to bed though - needs a serious burst of willpower.

Should be brushing my teeth then sleeping. Am on Mumsnet!

@mtobrokeme Thank you! I will print it out and put it on the fridge. But in fairness I think it's aimed at those who make cleaning a priority in life whereas for me that's ehrm not really the case. Won't stop me from feeling better reading it though 😅. Thanks again, you're lovely for posting it. X

My mum had it because my nanna was was so over the top! She would cancel days out to the seaside etc when my mum was little because there was housework that needed doing! It turned my mum into the total opposite!

Should be doing staff rotas. Instead opened my phone to get the calendar and so far I’ve placed an Amazon order and opened MN. Until I saw this post I forgot about my main objective which was the calendar 🙈