Why do I hate “parent” used as a verb (to parent, parenting) so much?

[IAmYoungerThanThatNow]

Why do I hate “parent” used as a verb so much?

”Your DH should parent his child”

”They needed step up and to do some parenting”

I loathe it but don’t know why. Does anyone else hate it and can they explain why?

(Lighthearted - I am not saying people shouldn’t say this commonly used idiom and do not judge people who do, I am just interested in understanding why I detest it so much 😂)

“parented her way round the sweets stand” Oh my word, the cringe 😂😂😂

I’m glad there are a few of us out there.

God yes, this annoys me too OP 😂

A PP pointed out some other heinous nouns-turned-verbs - I find “gift” particularly irksome!

Thank you Dr Freud. Why do I hate “leaning in” so much? Did someone lean on me when I was a small child whilst describing their action? Do I have a subconscious fear of toppling over? Do people who hate “makes my teeth itch” have worse teeth than the general population?

If you say ‘to grandparent’ then it can be a verb. You could also say grandparenting.

I've heard them both on adverts in the last few weeks. I probably watch too much TV!

Careful now @concertinacornflake will be along soon to ask you whether your parents gave your siblings more presents than you as a child.

I absolutely detest gift as a verb. It is so often used when give would be much more appropriate (and wouldn’t feel like nails down a chalkboard).

A verb being used as a verb doesn’t annoy me. Could it be because it’s always used in a negative way?

Just to clarify @concertinacornflake I am grateful for your contribution to the discussion and will think about your points.

But what would it mean? And have you ever heard anyone saying/writing it?

It will seep out though, won’t it, and it will be everywhere

Yes maybe

I hate psychology at times!

I do my best 😁

Yes, it's one of these stupid modern/internet/chat room phrases used as a gentle way of just telling someone to grow up.

'Adulting', also. Anything on Facebook saying 'I don't want to adult today'; So what? No-one cares.

Also, I would ignore the opinion a teacher who uses too many and multiple exclamation marks and hyphens incorrectly.

That's very interesting. I want to avoid class prejudice as much as possible, but I have worked in a range of schools, and it always seemed to me that it was in the wealthier areas that I saw more examples of a lack of parental involvement (I don't quite want to say "neglect" - parents meeting then legal threshold for neglect is pretty unusual though of course can and does happen in every kind of school).

I realise this would contradict usual social preconceptions, but it was certainly my experience.

It doesn't lead to better long-term outcomes for deprived kids sadly, as there are so many factors impacting that beyond day to day parental interaction and guidance that effect that. (A huge one being aspirations and role modelling I think).

But given the choice, I personally would always choose now to teach in more deprived schools, because I find the kids generally more well mannered and kind, and the parents more respectful and appreciative of the efforts of school staff!!

(Though of course I wish that there wasn't such inequality across the UK in the first place!)

By the way, I don't want to imply for a second that lots of wealthy people aren't also excellent parents. My brother teaches at one of the most prestigious independent schools in the UK, and has reported to me some shocking examples of parental indifference it's true (and some shocking student conduct) but I think would still say that on the whole most parents there do the best for their kids in terms of upbringing. And obviously, their best can include lots of additional enriching opportunities which make such a huge difference to things like outcomes and overall quality of life!

The trouble is, in any class, a few disrespectful kids can really alter the overall tone, as any teacher will agree I am sure, even when the majority of kids in that class are largely compliant and well mannered. One bad apple, and all that.....

I wouldn’t say it personally but that was just an answer to that posters question

It’s very often negative but not always. See Emma Barnett being so pleased with her parenting around the airport.

I hate it too. I also loath 'Educate yourself'

This is a really interesting perspective and not the picture we usually hear.

The reason you hate it @IAmYoungerThanThatNow is because it is fucking irritating and has more than a hint of smugness about it.

I also hate it. 😆

😂

So is the smugness in the word itself somehow, or is it a neutral word which just gets used smugly so has acquired smugness?

An adult would be working whether they have a kid or not. Childcare is a job that's shitly paid, being a parent is a lifestyle choice.
The worst one I've seen on here is

'parent up' 🤢

I have juat seen it in a another thread "why don't you just parent your child". Why can't they just say look after your child, I only ever here it used on here.

I think the PP has a point, there is always an element of smugness around it.

eeeeewwww

I still disagree that working to provide for your family is not as much being a good, active, responsible parent (if we can take that to be roughly what parenting means) as actually being with your children. My DH worked incredibly hard to maximise his income to provide for us and so that I could be at home with our children. His part has been just as important in the parenting role as mine. And he wouldn’t have worked so hard if he hadn’t had children, I know because I saw the change in him when they arrived.