Is going braless in middle age really such a social faux pas?

[DustyHedgerows]

Not sure what's changed, whether it's the heat or just a general feeling of being 'done', but this summer, I have parted company with my bra. I'm middle-aged, not particularly busty, and am just not bothering to put one on in the mornings when I'm not working. I suddenly resent the idea of wearing one, as it's not as if I really need support -it really only sheilds the world from seeing a hint of my nipples under my top. DC are embarrassed to be seen with me and although I don't really care, I've noticed the odd person do a double-take when I'm out. I'm not wearing anything revealing, just a t-shirt, a buttoned shirt or loose-fitting dress.
Is going braless in middle-age really the social faux pas that my teens imply that it is?

I think it has something to do with what a previous poster highlighted -nipples are quite sexualised in Britain, and visible nipples are seen as a bit provocative, I think. And if you have visible nipples, you're somehow being deliberately provocative (because you could choose to cover them up). It's a pity.

Personally I don’t think it’s appropriate unless you want everyone to look at your boobs and be embarrassed, and some men (and women) to get off on what they see. In which case fine.

It’s more than a pity. It’s a sorry state of affairs. And we all know who has sexualised them…

Probably, because being middle age with kids, they hang a little lower than they would with a bra on?

I've never had huge boobs, they were certainly big enough when I was overweight and breastfeeding, but they have always been a bit to each side/under my arms at least, even when I was a teenager, and have never been perky. My first boyfriend commented on the same, not complaining but just an observation. But at 50, other than being probably slightly lower than they were, they are pretty much the same.

Maybe you thought my comment was harsh! I think you wouldn’t go out with hair sticking up everywhere, dishevelled clothing and a dark ‘tache so why would you go out with big droopy boobs and nipples showing through?

Surely we don't want to avoid doing something just because it embarasses our teenager? We might never get to leave the house!

I have no opinion of what it looks like however I would just add one caveat. I'm pretty flat chested but started suffering from breast pain. I didn't go braless but when I was seen at the breast clinic I was told in no uncertain terms never to go without a bra as it's bad for the breast. The diagnosis was "undetermined breast pain" with advice given on bras.
Some time later I was diagnosed with breast cancer and every breast consultant and nurse I saw warned me never to go braless.

So if you saw me in the supermarket checkout queue wearing a patterned blouse and you believed I wasn't wearing a bra, your assumption would be that I was doing it because I wanted 'everyone to look'? Oh no.

It’s not just nipples, it is the letting it all hand out for me. I served a young woman the other day, in great shape but was very much in my face as she stood in front of me. It wasn’t the nipples, I can’t explain it, they were just there! And another woman, with more weight on her, and them bouncing and just kind of … there! (same day). It was boiling so I get it but it makes me look away in the same way I would with a topless guy

I'm sorry, @TheOctopus -I hope you're better now. That has really blown my mind -clinical professionals urging bra-wearing as going without is a health hazard. I'm definitely looking into this; it's really worrying.

I am very sorry you were diagnosed with breast cancer. I hope you are doing OK now.

Are you saying not wearing a bra is a risk factor in breast cancer? I strongly dispute that.

I'm a member of the A-team, and even I have to wear a bra with some outfits to avoid scandal! 😄But I have stopped bothering with proper bras. I wear the H&M soft bra style which is more like a very minimalist sports bra. Anyway, if you're comfortable and it is helping you beat the heat, then you do you and don't worry about what anyone else thinks!

I'm early 30s and I ditched the bra years ago, and no mine don't stay put nor are they small. In fact, they've packed their bags and retired down south, but if any one has a problem with it and it keeps them up at night then I suggest they seek therapy.

Fed up of being sold a con, that bras help back ache, if anything they've only added to the pain with shoulder and neck ache too. Fed up of being told they'll stop my boobs dropping, well they haven't have they so... Fed up of being told I don't look put together unless my nipples are in line with my armpits, I am an over tired single parent of a child who doesn't eat, sleep, or get through a day without making noises that would make passers by think he was being murdered, I never look put together and hoisting my tits up isn't suddenly going to fix those issues.

I just wear cotton crop top bras, no wires, or a jelly bra. I don't care about uplift but I don't want to jiggle. I can hardly feel these types of bras.

If people you are passing are doing a double take, it must be pretty obvious?
I wouldn’t want to embarrass my teens.

I'm 36F and I wear a bra for work. But in the warm weather I don't wear one any other time, sometimes no knickers with a long summer dress. It's too hot for a tight band across my back.

I've often wondered if no bra was the norm and it had suddenly been invented how people would react to those wearing one.

Pre-pregnancy I'm a DD now nearing birth I'm practically falling out of my E cup maternity bra with growth to go I'm told. I wish I could go braless but gravity is not my friend.

In this heat I say do what makes you comfortable.

It's nobody's business.

Your life sounds very tough @Jimmyneutronsforehead. Do whatever the hell you like with your boobs- sounds like they’re the least of your worries 💐

Given how much awareness there is now about breast cancer- and what a sadly common illness it is- I’d be very surprised if this was the case without a whole lot of public health messaging about it (not to mention retailers using it in their advertising to sell more bras).

I was thinking the same thing yesterday. The only reason I have a bra on today is because my tshirt is a bit see through. I look better without one on (28 DD) so won’t be wearing them regularly anymore. I feel resentful of them also. Got to be a peri thing.

Oh dear. You overestimate me 😂

I don’t brush my hair very often (I have the type of hair that doesn’t really care if it’s been brushed or not- it will do its own thing either way), I don’t care for smart clothes and don’t always keep on top of managing my facial hair. None of it is a priority for me 🤷🏼‍♀️ (And my boobs are droopy without even being big 😂)

I am big-breasted but I can’t wear a bra: anything tight around my chest makes me feel very anxious and even causes panic attacks sometimes. I wish I was flat chested.

i resort to: shaping bodies, vests etc, if anyone has a better solution I would be happy to hear 😭

So sorry to hear of your battle with breast cancer but there’s no harm in going braless. Please don’t spread misinformation like this.