Is going braless in middle age really such a social faux pas?

[DustyHedgerows]

Not sure what's changed, whether it's the heat or just a general feeling of being 'done', but this summer, I have parted company with my bra. I'm middle-aged, not particularly busty, and am just not bothering to put one on in the mornings when I'm not working. I suddenly resent the idea of wearing one, as it's not as if I really need support -it really only sheilds the world from seeing a hint of my nipples under my top. DC are embarrassed to be seen with me and although I don't really care, I've noticed the odd person do a double-take when I'm out. I'm not wearing anything revealing, just a t-shirt, a buttoned shirt or loose-fitting dress.
Is going braless in middle-age really the social faux pas that my teens imply that it is?

Breasts are for feeding babies and infants. Males have sexualised them

im not sure this is completely true, it’s a natural instinct for men, not something they developed, I was watching a documentary on one of those isolated ancient tribes, who didn’t communicate with the outside world and they were the same.

breasts are sexualised by nature, and many women are gay or bi and are the same, it’s not something men just did,

And?
In lots of countries a woman’s hair is sexual and that is why females are made/encouraged/ to cover their hair.
Where does this end?
Female Legs are sexualised so should we be forced to wear clothing like Afghan women have to?
Why don’t women in certain African countries wear bras?
It is purely a societal pressure, nothing else.

Why do you wear a bra when at work in a school? Why do you think it's not appropriate go bra-less there but perfectly appropriate to go bra-less everywhere else, given that you've noticed people sometimes look?

I get that you don't need the support, but wearing a bra is as much about covering visible nipples as it is about support. Do you think it's inappropriate for children and your colleagues to see your nipples, but not members of the public in general?

I'm not trying to make any specific point here, just trying to understand the logic.

I believe they did a study on this! I only wear a bra when I'm going out. At home I'm braless. Although my boobs have gone south since I had DS.

Bras were invented by a woman who didn't want to wear a corset. And even corsets weren't a torture device, they were there for bust and back support and to spread the weight of clothing. I've worn a corset and found it very comfortable, much better than underwired bras!

Some people will find it offensive to see a woman without a bra on but so what? A breast is not a sexual organ it’s just something our society decided should be hidden, like muslim countries and hair.

If you want to wear a bra because you personally want to disguise or enhance the natural shape of your breast or hide the outline of your nipple, then you should do so. Or if your breasts give you back pain or you don’t like it when they bounce.

But if your breasts don’t cause you any discomfort, you like their natural shape, and you don’t feel obliged to hide your breast or nipple because of some vague decorum and decency rules, then you should absolutely go braless.

This just isn’t true as I posted on another thread, breasts are sexualised by nature, I watched a documentary on a isolated tribe, then men were the same and they had no contact with the outside world. Bi and gay women find breasts sexual.

I think it’s naive to think it’s just something society created, it isn’t.

It's not just nipples. Without a bra, even small breasts move around when you do.

I didn’t say people don’t find breasts sexy. I said we shouldn’t have to cover them as a result of that. Personally I find bulging biceps very sexy, but I don’t expect everyone to wear long sleeved tops.

I think it's all the more important with age.

When I was 20-30, they were always larger but looking back they were so perky! Wish I'd appreciated that more. But then I could have got away without a bra.

Now I'm 50 and they are far from perky. I have, however, given up underwiring. It's hideous and it hurts. I now wear a more crop top style with some support but not "hoik them up".

I'm probably older than you and think it looks awful and horribly ageing.

I am in my 60s and now have tiny tits. None of my old bras are now filled by these shrivelled appendages. I tried braless - but felt unpleasantly ‘underdressed’ - so I bought some small thin crop top things - I think they are designed for teenagers, and they are great. Feel
properly dressed, no nips on show and very easy to wear !

I must agree. It just looks like the person doesn't care .

It's interesting that some women find bras really uncomfortable - I have probably an average sized chest, and I've never really found them uncomfortable. I'm not gagging to get my bra off at the end of the day or anything. If anything I feel more comfortable in one, because I hate the feeling of my boobs flapping up and down as I run up/down the stairs, for example.

I get that if you have a really large chest there is all sorts of discomfort associated with that, but OP says she doesn't have a large chest. Is it more just the principle of it, or do bras actually cause discomfort and if so what kind/where?

Doesn't care about what exactly?

No caring about what society decides is 'attractive'?

No caring about people wanting to shame them just for having breasts and not wanting to wear uncomfortable bras if they so choose?

Women can choose to dress themselves as they wish and how they want to present their body.

As long as they are not walking around topless in public I don't see what the problem is with someone choosing not to wear a bra.

You can make a different choice and you should respect other women's choices too.

Yes I’m older and it’s aging hippie look! Deeply unattractive. A good bra is wonderful. Makes you feel just perfect.

No I don’t find them uncomfortable either I think a lot of women wear the wrong size, sized correctly you should barely feel it, unless a very large bust.

i think boob or bust is one of the worst culprits. I recall someone on here saying your bra doesn’t fit right unless it leaves a red welt on your body, which is utterly insane, it doesn’t fit right if it leaves a red welt.

I would like to bet that you couldn’t even tell if was wearing a bra or not. Unless you were really staring, and why would you do that?

Same.
I am able to wear the crop tops from the children’s section. I might be 55 and have had 2 pregnancies but my breasts really haven’t changed that much. I do a lot of exercise which probably helps with the muscles in the upper body.

I think it's because it can stretch the Cooper's ligaments leading to breast pain.

My nipples are frequently erect and I can assure you it has absolutely nothing to do with sexual arousal. It’s a common misconception especially amongst men in my experience. I was quite the non conformist bra wise in my 20s and never wore a bra- I did have very small breasts but I got a lot of ‘ you seem pleased to seem’ type comments 🙄

@PussyGaylore Yes, I was quite shocked when I moved to the UK. I'd never worn bras routinely before, but quickly read the room once I arrived and began to wear one. It seemed such a foregone conclusion that nipples visible through clothing really did signal some kind of 'up-for-it-ness' -a carte blanche for random blokes to show their appreciation. That would categorically not happen in my country of origin -a woman without a bra is a total non-event.

It's weird, because in the office, it's far more likely that I'm reacting to fierce air con (I am very glad of the air con, though,) than I am sexually aroused.

We’re not all the same. Wearing a bra doesn’t make me feel perfect. It makes me feel restricted. I am aware of the shoulder straps and band- I can feel them all the time. Maybe I’m hyper sensitive- I can’t even wear jeans which some people claim are very comfortable- not for me.

Maybe it is a combination of both.

Once I started working there I immediately realised I was wearing the wrong bra and needed good support. That combined with a weight training program has changed how they are. They are firmer now.

A good bra may not be the answer as some of you are saying. In my experience though, the women I have encountered, who do not wear a bra, had quite serious sagging compared to those who wear bras.