My only child. He has always been quite stubborn and defiant however the last 6 months or so have been awful.
He is so so difficult. Anything we ask him to do is an immediate no. I appreciate children like to test boundaries but this just feels next level. I feel like every interaction is an absolute battle and turns quickly into chaos.
There is no reasoning with him, no amount of calm talking or explaining works, no threat of losing X or an early bed time, no counting to 3, no offer of a treat or a sticker on a reward chart. Nothing gets through if he doesn't want to do something.
He ends up screaming, literally screaming, in my face sometimes until he's purple in the face. Telling me he doesn't love me, doesn't want me as his mummy, wants me to leave etc... and this can be over something basic like asking him to get his shoes on. It's reached a point where it we are in public or a group setting and he refuses to do something or listen to me I dread it as I just know it's going to turn into a huge thing. He just simply does not listen to me.
He would argue with you that the sky is red just to disagree.
He does suffer with separation anxiety I think. He still has frequent melt downs at the school gate (going to Y1 in sept) and holiday club during the first few weeks of the holidays has been nothing short of hell. Fine once he's there and tells me he has a good time but getting him through the door has been awful. The staff literally have to come and meet me in the car park now while he's kicking and screaming and trying to run away.
I'm at my wits end. I end up shouting more than I like to admit because I just lose all patience. I try to stay calm I really do but he just pushes and pushes and pushes until you lose it. It's like that's all that works to shock him into doing as he's told sometimes.
I don't know what to do, is this a phase?! My husband wants to take him to the doctor, keeps mentioning things like ADHD. But I don't know. This behaviour is reserved solely for us (and he's much worse when he's alone with me than he is when his dad is around). School would tell you (once he's in the door) that he's an angel.
What am I doing wrong? My mornings make me utterly miserable at the moment because it's always difficult in some way.
I need to add that there are such lovely aspects of his personality. He is so caring and funny when he wants to be and is so curious about the world. He adores his family and is often very happy. But sometimes the anger he displays over the smallest things really worries me.