How can we compromise on kitchen style without either hating it?

[Floriaflan]

Husband and I are starting renovation plans and we’ve got a lot of the practical stuff out the way, so can start on the fun stuff, which is looking at new kitchens and decorations.

The problem is, we cannot agree on what to go for. I love classic styles and he seems to like ultra modern. We are both trying to find compromises that the other may like but what we’ve ended up with is a really dull mix that neither of us loves.

How can we find compromise on design like this? How can I tell him he’s fundamentally wrong and kitchen design should be left up to me 🤣

Who spends most time in the kitchen? Who does most of the cooking and who will be cleaning it?
Think about practical aspects as well as the look and colour.

Do you have children, Grandchildren or pets?
Is there a colour or material you agree on at least?
I’d find a kitchen designer and get some quotes and designs made up. They can tweak these for colour and traditional/ contemporary etc. You might come across something you both like.
I’m sure they come across this all of the time.
Good luck.

Well I cook and he cleans up, but it’s the focal point of the house really so we both need to ageee

i really just need him to see that im right…!

Can you post some pictures of what he would choose and what you would choose? maybe then we can help you find a compromise, how is the rest of your house styled?

When you say he likes ultra modern is he also a minimalist?

What about something like this

We did a whole house renovation 4 years ago, it was a rollercoaster of a time for us, I wish you all the best.

I'm the one that cooks so when it came to the kitchens/utility areas it was mainly my decision, (we did decide on the worktop edge together and the taps) things I wasn't that bothered about. It does help that we like very similar styles so there was no arguments there.

I designed the layout myself and I turned a very awkward space into somewhere I now enjoy being.

My Dh's job was to talk me down from the most expensive options which I naturally seem to gravitate towards 😂

Unfortunately that's unlikely to happen. I'd advise you to just keep looking and looking. You may find something unusual that is outside of all your preconceptions, but you both quite like, once you're used to it. Keep an open mind.

Maybe put together a shortlist of products or styles that neither of you hate. Then pass it back and forth with each person crossing off the one they like least. The last one left is your compromise.

You may well end up with something neither of you love, as you said, but is that really so bad?

The alternative is that one of you gives up the fight through sheer fatigue, and then resents the choice of kitchen every time they set foot in it afterwards.

Can't you have it so it's more separated (as in, a while ago, people were knocking down walls so houses were more open plan, now a lot are trying to separate the "working" bit of the kitchen from the eating area) and each take one bit, then you're both happy with something?
I know that'll depend on the house-in some it could be quite easy, in others that would cost a fortune if you were putting in walls etc.

There are layers to kitchen design. Get a good working design and layout, get drawers rather than cupboards etc, pull out units, have it pleasingly symmetrical if you can, get a worktop that feels nice. The choice of cupboard doors is just the icing on the cake. If you have good bones underneath you will enjoy using it anyway.

Personally I think the person who does most of the cleaning gets the veto on matt v gloss, end of.

I’d agree with this. It’s the arrangement of space that’s key in kitchens. DH, who dies all the cooking took the lead on that. I chose the colours.

Are you near either of the DIY Kitchens showrooms in Pontefract or Witney? I defy you to walk around them and not find at least one you both like. Free refreshments too 🤣

What aspects of it do each of you like? We ended up with a modern/traditional hybrid that works well for us. Traditional looking range cooker (Everhot), patterned tiling on the floor, modern gloss units (flat fronts) with traditional knobs, modern spotlight and under cupboard lighting, metro tiles as a splashback, fairly plain quartz worktop. Undermounted Belfast sink but modern chrome tap.