Would taking weight loss pills undermine my husband’s hard-earned progress?

[Wofflewaffle]

I’ve been overweight for most of my adult life. I’ve lost weight at times, only to gain it all again and more when life / circumstances change. I’ve been trying to get myself in the frame of mind to start over again - 16:8, low carb, whatever, but I’m fairly gloomy about it. I’m contemplating weight loss pills, which weren’t available until recently and look like a bit of a game changer.

DH has lost 25kgs over the last year. He’s done it the old fashioned way - gave up drinking, eating incredibly healthily, gym and personal trainer 5-4 times a week. He looks / feels great but it’s been really hard work: I know myself and I could not sustain this level of effort. I don’t even want to. Plus I work full time - I just don’t have time to do it his way (he’s part time for medical reasons so can go to the gym etc during the day).

Would it be a betrayal of his hard work if I took the ‘easy option’?
Anyone who’s lost weight the hard way, how would you feel about your partner taking an alternative route to the same destination?

You are individuals so you need to do what is right for you and only you. If the end result is that you are both a healthy weight and feel better then it’s a win-win.

He’s done it the old fashioned way

How sad that a person changing their life style to a healthy one to lose weight is now regarded as the Old fashioned way.

Well done your H .

No it wouldn’t, and on the pills you’d still have to change your lifestyle, eat healthily and exercise. It’s not a magic pill, it just makes it easier to stick to those things.

It’s a strange point of view. Surely the point is to lose weight, be more healthy and enjoy life more not the route to get there.

Have you discussed with him? Is he expressing any negative views or is this all in your head?

I’ve lost a third of my body weight on wli. Anyone who wants to tell me I’ve taken the “easy option” and it would be better if I was still obese can frankly fuck off.

Taking weight loss medication without the gym effort (lifting) and change of diet is a recipe for muscle loss. The pill will make it easier to stick to a deficit, that’s all.

I don’t understand your mindset,

firstly losing weight is not some form of competition.
secondlh there is no prizes for struggling.
thirdly, the goal is the weight loss, not the journey.
fourth, you still need to diet and work out, the drugs don’t melt the fat off. They just make it easier to stick to your diet.

You still need to change your mindset, up your exercise and overhaul your diet on the weight loss pill/medication.

I think you need to look at your mindset before you start taking weight loss pills overwise you are going to be disappointed.

It doesn't undermine his effort. Presumably he could have used weight loss drugs had he wanted to but decided not to.
I think at times he might feel a bit resentful/ jealous but they would be fleeting. He and you are hopefully proud of what he's achieved and what anyone else is doing does not change how well he's done.
If you decide to use weight loss medication and are happy with that decision then you shouldn't feel guilty about it or you will hamper your own progress.

Of course it doesn't undermine him. It's your health and your body, you need to do what is the right course of action for you. You have a different set of challenges than your DH and a lot less time for yourself by the sound of it.

Of course not.

Undermining his working would be sneaking extra calories into his food. You using weight loss tablets to lose weight won’t make him put on weight.

If you friend decorated their house by themsleves you wouldn’t be undermining them if you paid a decoartor to paint yours. You would still both have decorated houses.

My DH is on a diet without WLI and I am on a diet using them .

He doesn't feel the need to whereas I can't lose weight without them

Have you spoken to him about it? He would be very unreasonable to prevent you using the jabs to help you diet.

Also they are not a magic cure, they just help you to be able to make the right choices and resist snacking etc

I didn’t find this at all. It really was a ‘magic pill’ for me. I lost my appetite, didn’t eat anywhere as many calories as usual, hence the weight dropped off.

What makes you think it's the easy option @Wofflewaffle? You'll still need to change your diet and exercise, the meds help by slowing digestion so you feel fuller longer and help with food noise.

The only issue I see is if he’d wanted to use WLI and you’d talked him out of it or you’d jointly decided it wasn’t affordable, in which case it would be rather hypocritical for you to use them now. Otherwise, I don’t see the issue?

Have you talked to him about it? Really, he’s the only one who will know how it will make him feel if you go on WLI. He might be all for it and fully accept that you have less time than him etc.

How can what you choose to do with regards to your weight in any way 'undermine' what someone else chooses to do in relation to theirs? Your husband did what worked for him. You get to do what works for you.

Anyway, weight loss treatments are not the magic "all the fat just melts away without me having to try" solution people seem to think. You do still actually have to eat less and move more! And even if they were utterly effort free... So what? What on earth is wrong with something being easy?

I cant help feeling your thread title and OP has been carefully curated to get people 'on your side' (not that anyone needs to be).

'Undermine his hard earned progress indeed' 🙄

Take pills, take injections, take what you want as you are two individual people.

I expect you'll both feel marvellous in different ways.

I think you’ve answered your own question. It is inevitably going to be easier to lose weight if you don’t feel as hungry as you would do otherwise.

Of course weight loss pills are the easier option. It’s literally the point of them! I’m not saying no effort is required, but the whole design of them is to make it easier to lose weight.

I think you are being silly and if he ridicules people for taking WLIs then he is silly too. Do whatever works for you. WLIs don't make you lose weight they make is easier to control cravings. If two friends gave up smoking it's no different to one using nicotine patches and one not. Both achieve the end result. You could use that analogy to any kind of help we get in life, should white but sallow skinned people resent fake tan users for cheating, straight teethed people resent those that paid for orthodontics etc

It’s not the ‘easy option’ you still need to eat less and healthier, and exercise more…it does make it easier to stick to the healthy eating, but you still have to make the same choices.

So you changed your eating habits…so you lost the weight…why are you disagreeing with the previous poster who said this?

This pill didn’t make you lose the weight, eating less made you lose the weight, the pill just made it easier to eat less.

I never managed to consistently lose weight before I went on WLI, no matter how heavy I was, I just defaulted back to old habits when life got ‘too hard.’ I’ve been on them since December and have lost about 4 stone, and still have another couple to go if I want to get out of the ‘overweight’ BMI. I need to be much stricter to lose the next bit of weight as obviously the amount of calories I need to eat each day has massively decreased as I’ve lost so much weight. However I’m delighted that I’ve maintained this weight loss despite big holidays, birthdays and significant life changing stress including bereavement and changing job.

it has genuinely been life changing. I have completely overhauled my eating habits though, and that mindset change is what has made the biggest difference. I eat so much more protein now, and so much less sugar. My tastes have changed, lots of things now taste too synthetic, and my appetite is completely different.

I have reversed my high BP, high cholesterol, fatty liver and type 2 diabetes.

worth every penny.

What a weird question. I would think it would help your DH if you were able to eat healthier and join him in his lifestyle change!

Taking a WLI, @Pleasedontdoitagain , has meant I can actually lose weight ‘the old fashioned way’, by changing my lifestyle. Rather than a multi decade repetitive cycle of months of feeling deprived followed by quickly regaining.

I’m clearly one of many, many thousands, but I do apologise for not living up to your standards and continuing the loss/gain cycle until I’m put in my bloody coffin.

And it’s not an ‘easy option’ @Wofflewaffle , but it does make it possible.

It's not cheating @Wofflewaffle and l think your DH would be very happy for you if you lost weight . Good luck .

@ownedbymydogs

I do apologise for not living up to your standards
What's with the snidey remark? You sound extremely defensive.

I picked OP up on her use of what I considered a pretty contemptuous phrase: The Old fashioned way. It makes it sound as though people who work as hard as her H has done to change his lifestyle are somehow behind the times and are idiots.
I made no comment at all on weight loss drugs and injections.

As it happens I wouldn't be happy taking weight loss drugs or injections because I don't see them as a miracle cure for being overweight. There are too many negatives. But that's totally up to you and your choice. But there was absolutely no need for your unpleasantness addressed to me.