Would you homeschool your child if you were not educated yourself?

[toomuchheatnow]

My daughter is due to be assessed by a paediatric Neoro Disability specialist this week for potentially autism/adhd.
She has been a completely different child since the summer holidays and admits it’s just the pressure of school.
Without fail every day after school she would explode as soon as she got home and meltdown, scream, hit and her behaviour had become out of control, even school were saying she’s not able to mask it as well anymore.

Since the summer holidays it’s been like a different child, no meltdowns at all, no screaming, no yelling or violence and no anxiety.
She is eating which is normally an issue we have to feed her or she will meltdown, she has got up and dressed every morning when usually we have a battle and have to help her in and out of her school clothes but she just looks like the weight of the world has been lifted, the anxiety and stress of school just gone and she’s happy.

I also had the same struggles but as an early 80s child I was not diagnosed until recently so I when I wasn’t able to pay attention in class I was excluded from school and I just had no education.

I know not going to school would make her happy but I don’t know if I could educate her very well with no education myself and I believe I have LD.

I am so torn between sending her back to school knowing she just isn’t functioning there or learning and seeing the transformation in her when she is not in that environment, not masking all day until she explodes.

I learned a lot along the way from life, books, internet and experience even if I didn’t learn anything at school and only went for a few years.

She does have support from the SENCO but it’s not enough to be affective.

Not aimed at you @toomuchheatnow, but I think the converse is often true. Uneducated (or non-teachers) often think they can teach and can home school. I'm a teacher and I KNOW the only thing I could home school would be my specific subject.

There is a lot more to teaching than just the basics.

Can she change schools instead ? Is that an option ?
would you have to give up work ? Can you afford it ?

Ooops sorry! I've more or less repeated what you've said verbatim!

Albert Einstein viewed teaching as an art meant to inspire curiosity rather than force memorization. He famously stated, "It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge," and believed that true education trains the mind to think critically rather than just absorb facts

Is it definitely the school environment rather than the structure of the day and having to concentrate for so long? If this was me, I would plan a typical day’s schooling and have a ‘school day’ during the holiday, so you can see what effort is involved in preparing material and teaching her. See how she is at the end of the day. As a one off it won’t necessarily give you the full picture but maybe worth trying?
FWIW I have a degree, worked in a profeasional role and was very capable of delivering education/training in the work environment. But unless there was absolutely no other choice, I wouldn’t have wanted the pressure and stress Iof homeschooling

I have a friend who has done this. It’s worked well for her and her family, but I think the expectation that they have the same education is where you may have to explore. Her children will do functional skills in maths and English, they have a weekly tutor. They also do lots of alternative learning opportunities, one is sporty and has qualifications in that area as he gets older. One is into animals and goes to help in animal sanctuaries and has experience there.

She has provided them opportunities to develop themselves beyond usual exams so that they hopefully have experiences that lead to jobs and careers without the usual pathway. It is an intense job and she is very busy keeping them in a routine and exploring opportunities for them. She didn’t have a great time at school herself, so isn’t confident with the curriculum, but the tutors are there for the basics.

However, if you don’t have confidence in the school to help her settle, I would look at different school opportunities first, some schools are better than others dealing with SEND needs, as well as some groups of children, so a different class of children just might work better for your child. I am a teacher, so have seen this play out a lot unfortunately.

The other option is to explore things like staged return, do some half days, or come in before the class so she can settle, work with the sendco to find options to help her. Contact your local Sendiass who will be able to give you free and useful help and advice.

Home education doesn’t have to replicate the same methods, routines, length of day or pace as schools

Absolutely not, how would you propose to teach her? This is simply not something an uneducated person can do. Unless you can pay for a tutor, but how would you oversee that with no education yourself?

Better to talk to the school or investigate a different school in the same area. Maybe there is one that is better with SEN children.

I have a degree and homeschooling my SEN DD would be my last resort. In fact being autistic myself, while I'm bright, I really struggle to explain stuff to other people.
Does your DD have an EHCP? This plus a supportive school made a huge difference for my DD and I honestly believe she has as much support as the school can give. It's not perfect as the class size is really too big for her, but she has a 1 to 1 so can take lots of breaks. We are looking at specialist for secondary due to the above (we didn't at primary as there's no prevision locally that would be academic enough).

most skills to survive in life can easily be taught

I’m not especially pro home ed but I think in your shoes I would, it sounds like she’s struggling so much. Do you have any money you could put towards it eg a tutor even a couple of times a week, online school when she’s a bit older, books and resources. It sounds like she’s being massively failed by school and my feeling is the trauma she’s suffering outweighs any education she’s receiving (and it sounds like she’s barely receiving any anyway).

In addition can you look at other school options nearby? Also home ed groups for socialising and other activities may be helpful.

Is moving schools an option? In year transfer. Or as PP say on-line school an option?

We have multiple degrees and DH has a teaching qulification though not primary - and we did consider it - but we weren't in great location for home schools groups and support at time. Some days I did think WFT are we doing as the support work dominated the time outside school - and their first primary was big on busy homework - we moved for work reasons but they settled really quickly.

I'd be more reluctant at secondary level - though DC school had bad patch and supply and no subject spealists were sadly common.

Some schools do manage SEN/ND kids out - see if happening with DN. I'd talk to LA see what if any places there are in other local schools and then contact them have a look round. Some councils can be reclucant to move especially for bullying but while some take the probems to next school I know many where it made a huge difference to them.

If moving school not an option - and on-line school unaffordable then I might HE with view to trying to get back into school system at later date.

home educating whilst applying for an EHCP would probably be the best option

Personally, I wouldn’t EHE while requesting an EHCNA. If you EHE, the LA has even less incentive to agree to assess, agree to issue, and issue an EHCP with the provision and setting required. They will take a punt that at least a not insignificant number of parents EHEing will just continue to EHE rather than appeal. It is easier for others to sweep DC’s needs under the carpet when you EHE.

What you have observed in her behaviour over the summer is powerful information - but like others on this thread, I would probably conclude that she would be better off in a different school, rather than to choose home education. If learning is hard for her, she will need your support - it might be better to be her supporter and advocate than also try and be her teacher. We used the EHCP process to support a school move to a much smaller and quieter school with loads of outdoor space and it was lifechanging for my DS. I would say find the right school and then fight for that, even if you have to exhaust the appeals processes.

I have a diagnosis for combined ADHD and take medication and I strongly suspect ASD but as there’s no medication for that I didn’t see the need to pursue a diagnosis now.

I don’t have a diagnosis for any specific LD but when I read about NVLD it’s like looking in a mirror.

Maths for me is like another language and I struggle to drive without a satnav as I have no sense of direction at all, also no facial recognition so I don’t recognise anyone or any place, meaning I can’t picture something and draw it and I could never describe something I’ve just seen or be aware of how big a room was for example and I just take so long to learn anything.
I describe it as not having a short term memory or ability to process information until I’ve been shown so many times it becomes habit, my husband can direct me to a shop hundreds of times before I remember the way, only when it suddenly goes in the long term memory and then it’s auto pilot.
It’s not obvious from my verbal communication but I think the maths and lack of general ability to work out how something goes, my brain just couldn’t work out how to use a can opener unless I was shown.
I think I can cover it up when someone doesn’t know me, long enough to get through an interview or when first meeting someone but then inevitably I can’t learn anything or remember anything so it slowly becomes apparent that I can’t walk the walk and while I can keep up an initial social performance for a while, I am quite socially awkward.

I don’t have an EHCP in place for her no, she is due her assessment to get her diagnosis this week so hopefully the school take it more seriously then as up until recently she’s been hiding it well at school.
PDA is on my mind as she can be extremely defiant.

Since she’s been home for the summer holidays, we’ve seen no angry outbursts, no anxiety and no hostility towards us for making her go to school.

there are many resources and online programmes(twinkl/ reading eggs/ a million other places...) all you really need to ask is, what is right for her? What will improve her mental health outcomes as she grows up? You will find your answers.

everything is calculators now days as as she will likely not be able to learn the mental maths especially while under stress at school then make sure she can use a calculator tell time weigh things out use money/ cards etc. She will be fine with those skills, honestly. There are many who are bad a maths and learn it when they are older. Its not a big deal in the real world having mental maths to worry about with all the challenges she has. Thats the honest truth, make suer her mental health is looked after.

I have a PhD. I teach at the university level for a RG uni. I would not homeschool my children if I was the last person on earth. 😂 There is a reason I did all that extra education so I only had to deal with adults!

I think you need to find out more about what home education involves, how it's done and maybe go and meet some of the home-schoolers in your area. A friend of mine home schooled her children and there was a whole local community of home schoolers. They'll be able to show you what's involved, what resources there are and how it's done. I don't think it's about being highly educated (I am, and I wouldn't be able to home school mine).

If you can afford it, then it's something you should look into I think.

I'd do it alongside looking at what help/support you can get for her in the formal education system, including whether there would be more suitable schools for her.

And when you have taught her what you can?? Home education can be appropriate and effective but only if it does with careful planning and resources.
Can you afford to pay for tuition or online school?
I’m well educated and a teacher myself and I would still be wary of educating my own children beyond about 12 years old.
Covid taught me that teaching your own children is a very different ball game.

Likewise. I had to briefly homeschool DS (then aged 7-8) during lockdown, and despite being educated to postdoctoral level, generally well-informed and an experienced third-level teacher, it would no way have worked longterm. It barely worked for a few months.

I did it and I'm not highly educated (I was an ill child that missed about 50% of my own schooling). But I didn't teach, I facilitated learning. If I child enjoys learning then you help them learn. No need to become an expert at geography or a maths teacher, as all the resources are out there online or in books.
Does your child like to learn at home or would it be a battle?

Like you I can't remember things or recall facts, but I can really focus if I'm interested in a project.

How far do you think your child will aim for education wise? Are you wanting university level, or foundation level of GCSEs?
There are children that attend school their entire life and don't achieve high grades.
At home you can really concentrate on the subjects they enjoy and can give them extra help with the ones they struggle at.

Do you work? Would you have to give up an income to facilitate this?

More help at school or a different school entirely is worth exploring, but if you do end up considering home educating, don't worry too much about your own education, just about your ability to keep your child engaged with learning and pushing that learning forward so that they make progress.

I am a tutor and I help other people homeschool their DCs. If you can afford to pay a tutor for a few hours a week it might be something worth considering. I have known children who have been HS for a few years successfully return to a formal education in secondary school a few years later when they have gained in confidence and ability.

The purely academic side of HS doesn't need to involve long school hours as on a one-to-one basis as the work is covered so much quicker. You do however need to fill the rest of the time doing other suitable enriching activities that can be included in your report to the LA. Part of what I do for HS families is setting out plans and ideas for how they spend their free time to help their DC to have an enjoyable and useful education that fits their lifestyle and expectations. Too often I hear of HS children spending all day on screens as parents don't know how else to fill their time.

It is important that you can demonstrate to the LA that you are providing a suitable education and that your DC is socialising with others. You mention that she prefers her own company, but I would be looking for HE groups or sports/drama/arts/hobby groups in your area that your DC might enjoy as social skills are vitally important, particularly for an ND child. Many ND children find it easier to socialise doing an activity they enjoy and are interested in that they can look forward to doing on a regular basis.

It is definitely not an easy choice. HS is hard work but you can learn a lot yourself as you help your DC through the process. You need to be prepared to put plenty of effort into planning your days and socialising but if your DC is happier, then it is all worthwhile. Please don't assume that you can't HS unless you have a high level of education, but obviously you would need to pay (in person or online) for help in areas in which you are weak, so if that is not possible then I would suggest that you may find it too hard.

What do you both have to lose from taking her out of school?
At the moment she’s not learning and her mental health is suffering.
Even if she doesn’t learn much at home (which I don’t will likely be the case) at least her mental health will have a chance to recover and she may feel confident enough to go back into formal school education when she’s older and better able to cope.

No I wouldn’t personally. Postgraduate educated and I am aware that it’s beyond my expertise to do so unless I could pay tutors. My advice would be to apply for an EHCP and ask for a change of schools. My child will be not in school from September, but only temporarily whilst waiting for a specialist placement. Tbh we dragged the school placement out for much longer than I wanted to as it was clearly distressing to child and unsuitable, but knew that needed proof of need for specialist or we’d be forced to home educate.