Would you homeschool your child if you were not educated yourself?

[toomuchheatnow]

My daughter is due to be assessed by a paediatric Neoro Disability specialist this week for potentially autism/adhd.
She has been a completely different child since the summer holidays and admits it’s just the pressure of school.
Without fail every day after school she would explode as soon as she got home and meltdown, scream, hit and her behaviour had become out of control, even school were saying she’s not able to mask it as well anymore.

Since the summer holidays it’s been like a different child, no meltdowns at all, no screaming, no yelling or violence and no anxiety.
She is eating which is normally an issue we have to feed her or she will meltdown, she has got up and dressed every morning when usually we have a battle and have to help her in and out of her school clothes but she just looks like the weight of the world has been lifted, the anxiety and stress of school just gone and she’s happy.

I also had the same struggles but as an early 80s child I was not diagnosed until recently so I when I wasn’t able to pay attention in class I was excluded from school and I just had no education.

I know not going to school would make her happy but I don’t know if I could educate her very well with no education myself and I believe I have LD.

I am so torn between sending her back to school knowing she just isn’t functioning there or learning and seeing the transformation in her when she is not in that environment, not masking all day until she explodes.

I learned a lot along the way from life, books, internet and experience even if I didn’t learn anything at school and only went for a few years.

She does have support from the SENCO but it’s not enough to be affective.

I am degree educated but even then I honestly would not do this, I’d focus my time and energy on figuring out how we can make school work better whether that is a different setting, adjusting EHCP to get better support in place etc.

A happy child is obviously important but if that child hits 18 with no qualifications and no formal education other than “the best you can”, particularly with the way the job market is now, she is going to have a really difficult time of it. Not just the lack of formal education either but the lack of social interaction with peers, the different resources, the boundaries of a work style environment, experience being independent from parents, working with people you wouldn’t choose to spend time with, the list goes on & on. I’d rather fight the battles now and have my children receive an education and all the other many skills they learn outside of textbooks by being in school.

Can you afford to subscribe to home schooling packages @toomuchheatnow ?

You don't need to teach your child yourself, most packages do have some sort of support too. Depending on where you are, there may even be groups where home schooled children do activities together.

I would in your position, even just for one year while you can actively be involved in your little girl's learning and see how she learns. Her own specific ways. Away from bullies and fight for real support to return next year, to a school that meets her needs.

Fallacy that anyone can.home school. I'm a qualified secondary school teacher, but know i would only manage to do a good job in.my subject and adequate in a few others. To separate formal education and being mom, if school is not an.option, I would get a tutor- face to face.

I'm a teaching assistant and contemplating home education for my youngest but I live in an area with one of the biggest home education communities in the country. Have you looked into local groups to see what's available in your area. We have qualified teacher led groups for around £5 per child, social groups and an option to take Mathew, English and Science GCSES through the local college at 14. Although all others have be privately funded.

If school is too much for her i would definitely look into other options. If you don't think you can homeschool her yourself do you gave any friends who homeschool their children that she could join in with or any teacher friends who could provide an hour or two after school of tutoring? So she has a calm day and staggered learning. There are plenty of teaching resources online if you do want to give it a go yourself. Can you talk to her current teachers about what you could teach at home?

This was me 4 years ago. I knew deep down he couldn’t stay in school but I just couldn’t do home education. Roll forward 2 years and the decision was taken out of our hands as he just couldn’t go anymore it had all become too
much. He’s been left traumatised by education and now shuts down at any “obvious” or formal learning. Because of him not being able to attend the local authority do provide a tutor for 15 hours a week but it’s really tiny baby steps to get him learning anything and I really don’t think he’ll ever be able to set foot in a school environment again.
it’s been terrifying thinking about the future but we’ve just had to step back and work with him at his pace. He’s academically able and one day I’m sure he will decide to come back to it but we’re now learning to show him different opportunities and paths that won’t be education dependent. Self employment for example will give him opportunities.
if I could go back i would absolutely have taken him out earlier and we might now be in a much better place.

I home educated my 12 yr old for 8 weeks (she had no school) and personally I wouldn't do it again. She wouldn't do any work for me, wouldn't go to any HS groups or interact with any of the other children and I found it hard to, quite lonely.
She got a place in a independent school which has been amazing for her. She is autistic, pda and lots of sen going on.
She has a ehcp which I fought for but its definitely worth looking into one for her, if not for now but for future education.
Any questions pls ask 😁

I home educated my children to 14 and am happy with that decision, but their SEN were mild and we live in S London where there are loads of HE families. In your situation, I’d suspect that your lack of confidence in your education impacts you/your child most in the fight for appropriate provision, and I’d caution any parent of a child with significant SEN to try for state-funded provision (EOTAS if school’s impossible, but if there is n appropriate school, that’d be good). Good luck x

Do it OP. I was in the same situation as you I took my son out and he thrived . She’s not learning anything now and she’s unhappy. There are many free online resources available and you can learn with her . Priority must be her mental health.

You haven’t answered about having an EHCP, does she have one? If not, you need to apply for one. Look at other settings, smaller school with better SEN support. Some go through to 18 years old so no transition to year 7.

Op if you took her out of school it doesn't have to be a permanent decision. Lots of children come out, recover somewhat from their trauma and decide to try again later.
At 8 you need to be doing some numeracy and literacy. Then you could pick some topics that you're interested in, do some creative stuff, find some places of interest to visit etc.
There will be local home ed groups you can go along to and chat to others to see how it works for them. There probably will be a not back to school picnic in your area too.

I am a teacher and a SENCo. I have two neurodivergent children of my own. one is dyslexic and the other has ADHD, ASD (PDA profile), SPD and dyslexia. I have ADHD myself. I would NEVER electively home educate!!!! It’s not for me or my family. Firstly, I adore my job and secondly, we trigger each other. PDA is so difficult and I have had to come to terms with a lot of things. I went down the EHCP route and they now attend Specialist.

Have you considered changing school? Maybe to a smaller one, or one that's really hot on creating things like low sensory classrooms? Both may provide a less overstimulating environment she can better cope with, because this frankly sounds like the school are a bit crap.

I'm educated to MSc level, and in no way consider I could adequately educate my children. I know nothing on certain topics, what if one of them was passionate about engineering or military history? More to the point how would they know if their interest is in those areas if I don't know to introduce them to them.

It does depend a little on your aspirations for her though. If her disabilities are so severe that she will never hold down a job or work independantly then education frankly needs to be more focussed on functional skills and there are lots of home ed programmes to support those. One of my parents came out of school with no real qualifications, and actually did well for themselves until the early 2000s, then when a workplace closed suddenly it was a different time and to even get an interview they needed a qualification in the thing they had 30 years experience doing.

I think in the situation you and your daughter are in, home educating whilst applying for an EHCP would probably be the best option, especially if she is already being assessed! They do take awhile though so it’s possible that you would be doing this for a couple of years but having a happy and healthy child whilst waiting for the right support would be great if you could do it!!

Children learn well when they're happy and regulated, it's understandable that you're considering this and a common reason that parents home educate.

What LD do you think you have? What are your difficulties, and where is your own level of educational ability? Do you have a good idea of where your daughter is educationally? You may be able to home educate her successfully; you may find that you learn with her. You may also be able to support her especially well, as you might communicate and understand how she learns best if you have similar neurodivergence. Why not try things out over the holiday? The Good and the Beautiful curriculum for LA and maths is free to download PDF online, and although non-denominational Christian, there are very few mentions in the earlier grades. It's a somewhat literature- and Charlotte Mason inspired approach, so it uses stories to apply concepts in a relevant way. You can take the online placement to see which level you'd start with her. Paper products are better for learning; you can get them printed and delivered cheaply from Pingles. It seems to work well for ND learners and I know parents who've learned a lot themselves through home educating their children. Maybe try the LA and maths for a couple of weeks and see how it goes? Lessons are short and have things like cooking and maths which she might enjoy.

The literacy ability of some people on here who also claim is be home-educating is shocking.

Anyway, I’m educated and I wouldn’t. 1) I’m not a trained teacher and 2) I’m their mother. I don’t want to confuse that relationship and I also want to enjoy it.

The literacy ability of some people on here who also claim is be home-educating is shocking.

I nearly posted the same thing, but then I thought about my secondary school colleagues and re-considered; some younger members of the teaching profession are barely literate themselves. It’s a whole other thread.

I wouldn’t home educate, but I would investigate other schools. If the finances are there for you to not work and to home educate, are the finances there to fund private education?

Yes if you’re prepared to pay for help - the odd tutor, online courses etc.

Not if you’re just going to buy a few textbooks.

I home educated my daughter who is Autistic and ADHD for her last 2 years of school. She had similar problems to your daughter in Primary, and found Secondary school unbearable , they did nothing to help her at all, and it was heartbreaking watching her struggle. I did a lot of research before hand and found out exactly what I would need to do so she could study and take her GCSES as an external candidate. We chose independent study over tutors with some online courses, and she completed all her exams with high grades. The change in her was amazing , she's now at college age 17 about to start her last year, the college have fantastic SEN support, and she has a great group of friends. We both agree it was the best decision we could have made for her.

That’s a very difficult situation for you both. You say you have been diagnosed- is that as autistic or ADHD? Also you wonder if you have a LD- but has dyslexia been ruled out? I’m not in the UK so don’t have advice on home educating or schools (am in Ireland and HE seems more accessible here but we have mostly the same issues with lack of supports in school for ND) but I would like to recommend some books that might be of help:
Dr Ross Greene: Lost at School and The Explosive Child.
Dr. Naomi Fisher: A Different Way to Learn. (She also has a lot of useful online courses on her website).
Your daughter is lucky to have you looking out for her.

Yes I would if you can outsource some of the stuff you're not good at and if it's financially viable for you as a family. Outsourcing could be using an online school or tutors or swapping with other HE families or your partner getting involved.

If it's not possible I would consider moving her aways from the bullying to start with and think about applying for an EHCP and getting the right school for her secondary education.

HE doesn't have to be forever. I have friends who did a few years or the whole of primary but not secondary, or some of secondary etc etc.

I really feel for you. I would argue that she is learning very little at school anyway because her body will be in fight or flight. A kid whose body is prioritising survival won’t be learning. And having done volunteer work in my local outstanding school recently, I do question how anyone is learning anything anyway as it’s really quite chaotic!
There are a huge amount of resources online for home education, and I would head to The Works and stock up on CPG and Bond books for various subjects. Make your local library a bi-weekly outing so she has a wide range of reading materials.
I have a ND daughter who thankfully loves school, but slightly to my annoyance as I think she’d be much further ahead academically if we home educated.

these days all you need if its basics

some books from chaity shops

or a computer

then you got wikipedia
google
Ai
youtube

basically to learn any skill or ability you do not need the schooling system or university system

some of the great minds in histroy general self taught

Have you considered moving school?

If you HE, how will you afford it? Either you or her dad will have to give up work to be with her. Is that doable?

This. Have worked in education for many years and, quite honestly, a lot of primary school teachers are not very bright.

OP, if my child was struggling this much then, yes I would be home educating them.