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Are you a cuddly sleeper, or do you prefer space?

74 replies

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 10/08/2026 10:48

Are you a cuddly sleeper? I am. I’d climb into his skin if he would let me but unfortunately he won’t. Obviously in the heatwave he pushes me off, but most of the time I am. I know some people hate it, and I don’t think I could be married to someone who isn’t, it’s probably a dealbreaker for me if I’m honest.

OP posts:
youngestisapsycho · 10/08/2026 10:51

God no! 😆can't bear him near me... I usually put a pillow between us!
He is hot and sweaty in bed... I have no cover and a fan blowing on me 😂

Linetree · 10/08/2026 10:52

The cuddle before sleep is the best part of the day, and when there's time, a sleepy cuddle before getting up, but not after we say goodnight and it's time for sleep.

youalright · 10/08/2026 10:54

Absolutely not i like my space. When the kids move out and we have a spare bedroom im moving into that

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 10/08/2026 10:57

I used to have like a million teddies as a child including a massive one so I think I was kind of always going to be like this. If he goes away I normally have a teddy (very childish I know) but I need something in the bed to sleep. I also try and touch him with my foot if it’s really hot which sometimes is met with “can you get your sweaty feet off me”. Poor man puts up with a lot.

OP posts:
sorryIdidntmeanto · 10/08/2026 11:01

No, can't stand anything touching me when I am trying to sleep. I'd love my own bed.

UseOfWeapons · 10/08/2026 11:31

A cuddle BEFORE sleep can be nice, but once I'm ready to sleep - I want space, in fact, having lived alone now for so long, I'd prefer separate rooms!

ItWasntMyFault · 10/08/2026 12:05

Definitely need space - I overheat as it is even in cold weather so the last thing I want is to cuddle someone else who is also generating heat.

elQuintoConyo · 10/08/2026 12:08

I'm a massive cuddler - or was, before peri kicked in. Now it's a lovely cuddle before sleep, and when we wake up, but an ocean of space between us during the night. I can't wait for the hot flushes to fuck off.
Poor DH, I radiate heat constantly ☹️

HobgoblinNorFoulFiend · 10/08/2026 12:08

Oh I couldn’t bear someone clinging on me in bed! Just as well I live/sleep alone!

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 10/08/2026 12:08

I‘m so envious of DSIS and BIL with their separate rooms, preferred decor , quilt together, pillows and bedding etc

Sadly for me my DH finds it horrifying and the beginning of the bed etc (definitely not in my DSIS case)

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 10/08/2026 12:14

God, no. No-one touches me while I'm trying to sleep. I have a giant pillow that I cuddle, which is cool and snuggly but isn't going to suddenly change position and wake me up.

FloofTrousers · 10/08/2026 12:18

How to you not wake up constantly throughout the night when one of you moves?

I like cuddles before sleep and upon waking, but no touching during sleep.

BarbarianBabs · 10/08/2026 12:19

I’m a cuddler and so is he luckily! But in this heat we have an agreement that when one of us finds it too hot we just have one foot touching 😆

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 10/08/2026 12:19

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 10/08/2026 12:08

I‘m so envious of DSIS and BIL with their separate rooms, preferred decor , quilt together, pillows and bedding etc

Sadly for me my DH finds it horrifying and the beginning of the bed etc (definitely not in my DSIS case)

If DH asked me for separate rooms I would probably burst into tears. I don’t think it’s the beginning of the end though. My dad and step mum have different rooms because my dad snores extremely loud. She does have a really nice room as well, his looks like a prison cell.

OP posts:
User3936493947 · 10/08/2026 12:21

Absolutely fucking not - and not in the morning either because I cannot sleep while I’m being cuddled and also DH can’t just cuddle, he has to be kissing, nuzzling, stroking basically fidgeting. It drives me absolutely up the wall, especially as he is a lark and awake at 5am or something and I am most decidedly not.

BarbarianBabs · 10/08/2026 12:22

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 10/08/2026 10:57

I used to have like a million teddies as a child including a massive one so I think I was kind of always going to be like this. If he goes away I normally have a teddy (very childish I know) but I need something in the bed to sleep. I also try and touch him with my foot if it’s really hot which sometimes is met with “can you get your sweaty feet off me”. Poor man puts up with a lot.

When he goes away for work make a ‘Pillow Him’ using his two pillows - one for his torso and one for his legs, the leg one angled slightly more towards me than the torso one to mimic being spooned but by his pillows.

writing it and reading it back, I realise it’s a bit nuts!!

aliasfrog · 10/08/2026 12:27

Dh and I start the night cuddling and im like you in that I'd get inside his skin if I could!!! But then when it's time to sleep i roll away multiple times across our huge 2m wide bed and sleep under my own duvet. Then in the morning we cuddle again. I cannot stand another person touching me when I'm trying to sleep.

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 10/08/2026 12:29

God no. If a cuddle is needed fine. But when im trying to sleep or even worse, am asleep any touch and i go into an internal silent rage. We went to a hotel and had a fucking enormous bed, 6ft4" dh could lie width ways across it with space. It was my idea of heaven. But I'm glad I dont have to change it.

Seagulldancing · 10/08/2026 12:31

Space here. I really don't like people breathing near me when I go to sleep! Toddlers crawling into my bed was a total nightmare for me.

iamnotalemon · 10/08/2026 12:35

Get in his skin? Ok Hannibal 😂

gannett · 10/08/2026 12:39

I like cuddles but they should not take place anywhere near sleep imo. Can't even sleep if someone else is in the room let alone touching me.

ithinkilikethislittlelife · 10/08/2026 12:43

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 10/08/2026 10:48

Are you a cuddly sleeper? I am. I’d climb into his skin if he would let me but unfortunately he won’t. Obviously in the heatwave he pushes me off, but most of the time I am. I know some people hate it, and I don’t think I could be married to someone who isn’t, it’s probably a dealbreaker for me if I’m honest.

I am you lol. Except he doesn’t push me off. I don’t know how my husband stands me at night tbh but luckily he loves me. I wake him to ask him to turn over too so I can be cuddled then to turn the other way so I can cuddle him 🤷🏻‍♀️. I also wake him up when I’ve been to the toilet just to double check he hasn’t been replaced in the moments of leaving him alone 🤦🏻‍♀️. I blame 80s horrors lol.

EBearhug · 10/08/2026 12:46

Cuddles before and then touching, but not close. Heatwaves excepted. It's one of the things I miss most about my ex.

Littlebitpsycho · 10/08/2026 12:53

Maybe two or three times a week we'll have a cuddle for 10 minutes in bed before going to sleep, but both of us like space for actual sleeping - in fact neither of us can sleep if we're facing each other 🤣

We're not naturally a particularly affectionate couple though

Lillers · 10/08/2026 12:57

I used to be a cuddler and my now-husband wasn’t, but we found compromises that worked for us both. Now that we’re parents I’m desperate for space - I do not need anybody else touching me once my day is over!