Are children born from IVF especially close?

[Luckymumoftwotoo]

Mums who’ve had babies born via IVF: are your children close? Mine are best friends (at least so far); they are 4 and 8 and have been inseparable since birth, despite the age gap, different sex, different personalities. They were both from the same egg collection, so in a sense they’re fraternal twins! Just born 4 years apart. They seem especially close, the way some people describe twin relationships.

Just curious if annyone else’s FET babies are close like this?

Not IVF babies but same age gap and can also say both are inseparable besties. I think it’s a really good age gap, the 4YO has this caring side as they’re big enough to understand that and then small enough to want to then play with a toddler as they’re big grow older.

My DH is the middle child, he’s very close to his younger sibling who is 4 years younger (only 20 months between him & his older sibling) they’re not IVF, but agree with the other poster that the 4 year gap seems to be a sweet spot.

Interesting, I wonder why. So many people talk about 2 and 3 year age gaps being ideal. I remember telling people ours would be 4 years apart and everyone seemed to think they would have nothing in common.

4 years difference and they do not get on.

I don't see why IVF sibs would be any closer than other sibs.

Its personality rather than age gap that makes siblings close. And it goes in phases as they grow up.

same egg collection doesn’t mean they are twins of any sort.

I don’t think there’s anything in this. My cousins IVF babies, now 9 and 12 bicker constantly.

In fact, I also know lots of fraternal twins who don’t get along at all.

I think it’s the same DNA that results in identical twins often getting along so well. IVF babies are like any other siblings, some get alone, most don’t 🤣

You’re just lucky if your kids are 4 years apart and get along well in childhood. My youngest two have 3 year age gap and whilst they can watch the same stuff and play the same games, there’s a big difference in their interests and abilities.

It’s more to do with personality. I’m going to guess your eldest is unusually kind and inclusive.

I know two IVF girls from same round of eggs collected born 2 years apart. Very different girls. Not very close.

I have a 6yr age gap and my children are so close. I'm not sure why MN bangs on about the ideal age gap being smaller.

Why does same egg collection make them twins? Also, I thought fraternal twins were as genetically close as any pair of siblings?

This. The only thing that differentiates fraternal twins from normal siblings is the fact that they were in the womb at the same time. Take that out of the equation and they’re just… siblings.

Came here to post this - fraternal twins are not biologically different from any other set of siblings. What makes them twins is that the mother was hyperovulating and carried them both at the same time. This would obviously not be the case with IVF.

The only way you could have IVF “twins” in this way I suppose is if the fertilised egg split early outside the womb and the people performing IVF decided to only implant one

IVF has nothing to do with it. Some siblings get on, others don't, that's it. In any case, many siblings find their relationship changes over time - how they are now may well be different in five years, and different again ten years after that.

My daughters get on very well (so far). There's a 2-year age gap, and only the eldest is an IVF baby. I hope their relationship stays close, but who knows what the future holds.

The only way you could have IVF “twins” in this way I suppose is if the fertilised egg split early outside the womb and the people performing IVF decided to only implant one

I both agree and disagree with you. By the same logic spontaneous fraternal twins aren’t twins as they don’t result from the same egg, which will be a surprise to parents of spontaneous fraternal twins.

An IVF embryo can’t split outside of the womb as it’s placed directly into the womb, so any potential split happens there, which can also be the case for non-IVF identical twins.

The definition of twins is that 2 babies were carried in the same pregnancy. Whether they’re IVF or spontaneous, fraternal or identical is beside the point.

Yes sorry I didn’t mean an IVF pregnancy couldn’t be twins - I meant “twins” as in the OPs implication that they are so even when born 4 years apart

Thank you. There seems to be a lot of trivialising of fraternal twins on this thread. Being from the same egg collection doesn’t make them twins. Yes, biologically fraternal twins are “just siblings” but tell that to a twin mum who carried her babies together and raised two babies at the same time.

I dont think this is an ivf thing, just luck. Small age gaps dont mean youre automatically going to get on. Me and my 3 siblings are 5 years apart (eldest to youngest). We fought like anything growing up,2 are close being boys but I only speak to one really now we're grown up.

My dh siblings have 4 year age gap between each sibling and are all really close. Interests might be different when theyre growing up but you also dont get the sibling jealousy as much and get to spend time with each of them as individuals.

I think that's a strange take. Obviously having two babies at once is different for the mother! But that isn't even what happened in OP's case. I was just saying that genetically they are no more similar, as the OP was implying they were.

Not sure if you’re referring to the OP or the responses - but as a fellow twin mum, I don’t feel the replies are trivialising fraternal twins, quite the opposite, actually. People are making the point that it’s the joint pregnancy that matters most, not genetics.

Right, I guess I've always thought of them as being from the same egg collection and fertilisation go, and they'd done the first...five days of embryonic development together, ergo twins! But I reckon that doesn't actually make any sense. Sounds like it's quite random anyway about whether they get along, regardless of age gap.

I have fraternal twins and a single all from IVF. I don’t think there’s anything at all about the time they spent in a petri dish that has affected their personalities in any way.
When you have twins people have all sorts of weird theories. Never heard a weird theory about IVF origins though. Until today.