Partner twists everything..am I wrong?

[luluxxx]

My partner twists everything and I’m tired and I don’t know if it’s me.
He is a gambler
He can’t /wont stop,I have tried to get him to stop.
Every month he gets paid and transfers me £500 for the bills and £150for food and then he has around £1,400 spare
He gambles every penny.
I spend my money the rest of the month on food etc.
i do everything around the house,he’s never grateful.
I have started selling home made jewellery on Etsy and started making £300 a month and more than anything I enjoy it.
Today we went to Tesco and he handed me £5 note (from the £150 food money in draw )
That’s all was left of it and said “can you top coral up “
I said no,explained that was the last of the food money.
He said okay well you’re not buying any more supplies for Etsy ,if I can’t gamble.
So you can do what you want but I can’t.
He was being horrible to me.
Walking ahead
We got home and he flipped it around.
Saying he was being like this because I’m boring and don’t make him happy,nothing to do with the £5
I started crying,he got his phone out and started filming me saying “this is her,fake crying,look at her ,what I put up with ,dramatics “

I never do anything wrong.
I do all the housework /cook etc
I make extra money on Etsy so we can have nice holidays,days out,meals etc .
I go to town and if I see a nice shirt il get him it.

Im stupid but no more
Ive got money in my bank that he doesn’t know about.
I keep it safe for me and things I want.

So basically he was annoyed I wouldn’t give him gambling money,he’s flipped it (I don’t know what we are even arguing about now ) so I’m tired

Is this me?

He also says I’m thick ,stupid ,useless

I am none of those things

He’s a gambling addict who isn’t in recovery at all, this is a super reckless person to be in a relationship with tbh. On top of that, he isn’t even nice to you. He could tank your financial situation easily. I’d walk away.

This is LTB territory. He’s a useless, rude addict. You deserve better.

I am more worried you need to post and ask is this me. Anyone would know this isn’t normal. Run for the hills. Gambler - destroys lives he doesn’t sound like he will change. Why would you stay

Well, you know he is a gambler. Like alcoholics, drug addicts, they lose their basic humanity when they need their next fix.

All you can do is acknowledge he is what he is, won't change and decide what you want to do

You can simply leave, or boot him out depending on your home situation. Sounds like you'll manage OK

Stop asking silly questions like 'Is it me?'

You know full well that it's not you.

All you're doing is distracting yourself from working out a way to leave the prick.

Finish it. He is using you, and being an obnoxious arsehole whilst doing it.

He's a gambler and he won't stop he will take everything off you he can to gamble. There is nothing to think about just get out, he loves his gambling not you.

He is a gambler, is lazy around the house, mean with money, rude and offensive to you, bullies you and doesn’t like you very much. What more reasons do you need to end this deeply unpleasant relationship?

What a horrible person. Please leave him, you deserve better.

No of course it’s not you, you know that.
You need to end this relationship, your BF is an abusive loser

Right so why are you with him ?!!

This one is really, really simple.

Leave.

Who's house is it? Do you rent or own? Private or council?

Sorry OP, but I agree with the above.

You are subsidising his habit.

Because of him, you could lose your home, your savings, your future.

Get some RL support, Women's Aid, Gamblers Anon (the one for relatives) and get your ducks in a row.

Be very careful. You are his meal ticket and it sounds like you are the full time housekeeper etc.... he is already a nasty bully but he won't like it one bit when you walk away... so get advice on how to do this safely. Don't tell him about your plans or about leaving until you know you can get away safely.

You have a good job, you are capable of running a house hold. You don't need this dead weight.

We rent from my uncle

He loves gambling more than he loves you.

Surely you mean ex ? Nobody needs a man this badly. .

Stay in your uncles house and kick him out.

Gambling addict.
Emotionally abusive.
Arsehole.

You deserve better.

Honestly you can do so much better for yourself than a man who wants to you top up his coral account up with the last fiver of shopping money!

You could travel and see the world, go to concerts or festivals, enjoy nice restaurants, go on lovely days out whenever you fancy, spend time with your friends and family! Instead you're being filmed crying and trying to raise a few extra hundred pounds a month so you can take this man on holiday.

Tell someone who loves you and cares about you what's going on and get some support to get rid of him.

Tell your uncle about your partner's gambling, and the horrible way he treats you. Ask for help in getting him out of your home.

Please do this, otherwise this abusive addict is going to destroy your life.

He’s an addict so he’s just deflecting the problem onto you to make it seem like you’re the problem in hopes that you’ll stop questioning his gambling. If he’s not willing to get help/stop then I really don’t think the relationship is viable unless you’re willing to tolerate this kind of nonsense forever.

Please end it OP. This will get worse and worse and worse and he will drag you down and destroy your life. Ask me how I know. Just end it.

If it were "just" an issue of his not contributing enough money each month and you having to make up the difference, I'd say keep track of ALL of your food/necessary household spending each month and divide the total by two - that's the amount he pays you up front the next month before he spends anything, instead of the usual £150.

But since you've also added that he:

• is a gambler, spends every penny, and can’t /wont stop
• leaves you to do everything around the house
• makes rules about your spending even though you have separate finances
• is horrible to you, twists things around so they are always your fault
• Blames his poor behaviour on your being "boring" and not "making him happy"
• films you without your consent
• accuses you of pretending to cry (very common trope among incels, male supremacists, and other woman-haters)
• says you're "thick, stupid, useless"

I'd say you should recognise that this is an abusive relationship, end the relationship, and leave him to fend for himself. Good for you for keeping your own money and not telling him, but why live like this at all? Are you afraid he will physically hurt you if you end things, or will refuse to leave?

You keep posting about this waste of skin.
What is keeping you with him?
Are you terrified at being seen to be single?

I’ve ordered myself a chinese
It arrives and he says “so you say we need to not spend money as it’s for food,yet your order a Chinese” yet I can’t have £5 to gamble ?
double standards
I literally am spending money I’ve earned and money in my bank
Should I not of ordered a takeaway ?