Partner twists everything..am I wrong?

[luluxxx]

My partner twists everything and I’m tired and I don’t know if it’s me.
He is a gambler
He can’t /wont stop,I have tried to get him to stop.
Every month he gets paid and transfers me £500 for the bills and £150for food and then he has around £1,400 spare
He gambles every penny.
I spend my money the rest of the month on food etc.
i do everything around the house,he’s never grateful.
I have started selling home made jewellery on Etsy and started making £300 a month and more than anything I enjoy it.
Today we went to Tesco and he handed me £5 note (from the £150 food money in draw )
That’s all was left of it and said “can you top coral up “
I said no,explained that was the last of the food money.
He said okay well you’re not buying any more supplies for Etsy ,if I can’t gamble.
So you can do what you want but I can’t.
He was being horrible to me.
Walking ahead
We got home and he flipped it around.
Saying he was being like this because I’m boring and don’t make him happy,nothing to do with the £5
I started crying,he got his phone out and started filming me saying “this is her,fake crying,look at her ,what I put up with ,dramatics “

I never do anything wrong.
I do all the housework /cook etc
I make extra money on Etsy so we can have nice holidays,days out,meals etc .
I go to town and if I see a nice shirt il get him it.

Im stupid but no more
Ive got money in my bank that he doesn’t know about.
I keep it safe for me and things I want.

So basically he was annoyed I wouldn’t give him gambling money,he’s flipped it (I don’t know what we are even arguing about now ) so I’m tired

Is this me?

You know the answer to this @luluxxx .
You can spend your own money however you choose, as can he. He just chooses to waste £1000s on gambling.

Tell him your relationship is over and he must move out.
Your uncle can issue an eviction notice to him.

If he becomes very angry and/or violent, call the police.

Have you not found any of the replies to your threads about this awful man helpful?

You don't have to live like this.

Why is he even still in the house? You KNOW he’s abusive and he’s got a gambling addiction, you’ve had numerous replies with very good advice over a few threads yet here you are asking if you should have ordered a takeaway. If you can’t see what he’s doing now then you never will, good luck in the future.

Dump him.

You deserve way better.

Why haven’t you dumped him yet?

But he already has his money for gambling - £1400 per month? He may as well be setting fire to it.

You are buying materials in order to make more money - completely the opposite of burning money.

You are also buying food. Tangible, delicious, hand cooked, real life food that you can eat. You are not ripping up £20 and flushing it down the pan like he is.

Addicts are notorious for blaming everyone around them when the money runs out. I have a gambler in my family. They will manipulate, guilt-trip and terrorise their closest family members in order to get money.
Please don't let this become your life.
You need to get out of this situation before he takes everything you have.

Guessing you are still madly in love with him and share multiple children which is why you are determined to stay with him. Best of luck OP. It sounds as if you will need it.

@luluxxx "yet your order a Chinese” yet I can’t have £5 to gamble ?
double standards"

This is classic addict talk OP. They make you the problem whilst convincing you that their lifestyle is the most normal thing on earth. It's because you're the evil one standing in the way of the "drug" that their very life depends on. My husband was an alcoholic (not a heavy drinker, a genuine alcoholic) so I know what I'm talking about. I've got the T shirt. His addiction was a black hole that sucked everything around him into it, including my dignity, money, joy and eventually my sanity. Nothing, absolutely nothing you do or say will make him stop. Don't try to reason with him or think for one minute that he somehow cares about you deep down. Just forget it. The only thing he cares about is getting his fix (in this case gambling). If you stay, this will be your life until you're too old and worn down to do anything about it.

He’s abusing you emotionally and financially.

Please get some support to leave him

You were wrong to order a takeaway.

You should have gone out and eaten in peace in your favourite restaurant to get away from this little gobshite.

why are you still with him? Why have you and your uncle not kicked the cocklodging, addict out months ago? i don't know where your self esteem is, but you need to retrive it immediately.

Yes, it’s you OP. You need to be nicer to him and then he will stop gambling away all the money and behaving like an arse. It’s clearly all your fault.

What answers were you expecting from the thread OP? Did anyone give you the answer you were looking for and if not, why not?

I’ve had really great advice Thankyou
i have posted multiple threads in the past but I think this is it now.
He said my behaviour is driving him crazy ,but I haven’t actually done anything ?
He said he can’t stand looking at my face
So I’m sat downstairs
I said this because I wouldn’t give you £5
He said no it’s not that
I said well nothing has happened
Five minutes before going into Tesco we were laughing and jokin
My heads honestly a mess because I don’t understand what I’ve done wrong

Tell him to pack his stuff and get the fuck out. Don't take him back. And honestly, get yourself into therapy and work out why you've put up with this shit for so long.

Boot the bastard out.

If it’s your uncle’s house, surely you can remain there without him.

Kick him out, change the locks and live your life. He won’t change.

Its not you. Dont throw any more of your life away. Get rid of him. He's not worth it.

The only thing you have done wrong is letting this continue.
Break the cycle of abuse. Because that what it is.
He won't change.

Well he likely will.

His abuse will ramp up.
Until staying with him is dangerous to your physical wellbeing as well as your mental health..

So why is he like this today ?
is this really over £5 ?

The perfect and only solution.

Because he’s a liar and a gambler. Throw him out.

You surely dont believe that it could be?

Why do you want to stay with him?

Why are you asking this - he's a gambling addict who is abusive when he doesn't get his fix.
He will abuse you (or anyone) who will not let him gamble away all the money.
Break up with him. Get your Uncle to kick him out & change the locks.
Live your life & do your Etsy jewellery & order Chinese to your heart's content.

It's because he's a gambling addict and you wouldn't give him his next fix (the £5).

This will never get better and he will always twist things.

You rent from your uncle. Get rid of this nasty addict and if you can't afford the rent on your own, hopefully your uncle will be understanding until you can find somewhere cheaper.

You sound like you're doing really well with your Etsy business btw - don't let this prat of a man ruin your good life.

he is like this because this is who he is? A gaslighting horrible man that most women would not start one thread about cos they would have dumped him eons ago.

Why have you not got rid? He won't change and you cannot rescue him.