CMS huge stress- can anyone advise

[Wanderingflowers]

I'm on holiday with my DP and DS. Things can be tricky with my DP and last night there was a disagreement and my DS called his dad back home. All settled after this, back to normal etc. However this morning I received a message from CMS saying "we have been notified that Ben has changed address" - name changed. Then for me to just respond with his address. I just replied stating there is no address change and gave our current address.

Does anyone know what will happen now? I'm hugely stressed. My ex hasn't said anything to me, nor has DS so I don't think he's aware of anything. We've been apart around 11 years and always had the same arrangements; it's around 60/40 (he's with me slightly more). He's nearly 16 and we are very close and I know he wouldn't want anything to change. I'm assuming ex has decided when we are back from holiday, he'll be living with him. I'm really stressed.

Speak to your son and show him the text.

I don't really want to get my DS involved. He's a sensitive boy and if he thinks his dad is stopping him living with me, he will be anxious.

Anyone have any advice? Or insight into the next stages?

I know nothing about CMS and address changes, but what do you mean about things being "tricky" with your DP and why might your son's father consider it necessary to change the living arrangements?

None of us can really give advice as you don’t know what’s been said on the call. I agree with @MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack if things aren’t great between your DP and your son maybe your ex thinks it would be better if your son lived with him.

Apologies if I've got this wrong - but it reads as if your DP is loud/ aggressive/ shouty/ violent etc etc and your DS has called his dad about this?

Does your son want to live with his dad because your DP is unpleasant to live with? If so you should let him go

I hope that this message is genuinely from the CMS and not from a scammer who now has details like your name, address, child’s name and maybe his DOB?

You are minimising an incident serious enough that your teenage son felt he needed to call his father over.

The easy solution is to get rid of your partner. Then your ds will be happy to stay with you.

Has someone decided you have moved because you are away on holiday, either in error or deliberately to get you into trouble. Ask what address they think he is living at?

My DS doesn't want to live with his dad. He actually prefers it at our house. DP wasn't shouting at my son; basically a stupid disagreement and my DP was arguing with me. My DS then spoke with his dad, I don't know what was said because I didn't ask and wanted to respect his privacy.

Something big happened that night, enough for your son to ring his father. Stop minimising the argument and the tricky partner and get rid of him.

I definitely think the message is from CMS and not in error. Also far too much of a coincidence.

What do you mean ‘things can be tricky’ @Wanderingflowers

@Wanderingflowers you need to consider that your son's father may not longer think it's in his best interests to live with your partner. Also your son may be telling you one thing (he wants to live with you) and dad another (mum's boyfriend is a dick and I don't want to live with him anymore)

DP was arguing with me and when he gets annoyed he keeps going on, despite the DC being present.

My question was centred more around next steps regarding CMS and if anyone knows the answer. I thought they just dealt with facts of who lives where and none of that has changed?

Tricky? What’s that mean.
I think you are minimising.
The fact that your son felt the need to call his dad is concerning.

For context 2 years ago my ex took our DS on holiday and there were huge arguements. DS was messaging me that he hated his dad and his dad's wife, didn't want to be there etc. It was so bad that he was telling our DS that his step children were fantastic and our son wasn't etc. Yet I didn't call CMS.

OP, you chose to tell us about the "disagreement" with your DP so you obviously feel it is relevant to the CMS notification. So you clearly believe that something was said by your son to his dad regarding the "disagreement" which prompted his father to try and change your son's address.

Only your son can tell you what exactly he said, but you do already know what actually happened with your partner, so if you don't want to ask the question directly, you can probably hazard a guess. It seems likely that you are minimising your partner's behaviour. Perhaps your ds finds it more uncomfortable than you realise?

Being made to live between two angry men is going to be causing harm to your son. Your boyfriend, and the boys father who prefers his currents wife's kids to him.

He's going to think being a shitty, angry man is normal

Your son has clearly said something big to his father to make him advise the CMS of a change to his living arrangements. At 16 it would be your son’s choice, so this hasn’t come from nowhere…