Anyone else want a work from home support thread?

[LimesLemonsOranges]

Anyone want to join a WFH support thread?

I WFH 98% of the time. I’ve been WFH for 6 years now. I’m bored, I’m lonely.

DH has a long commute so doesn’t get back in time for me to do anything in the evening, so joining any kind of evening activity is not really an option unfortunately. Also DH isn’t really a talker.

I force myself out every day to walk or run at lunchtimes, work permitting. I don’t have many friends but try to see the four people I know once a month each, so I have one social thing per week. It takes the edge off but it’s not enough.

In terms of why I don’t quit, firstly my job is niche, it’s well paid, (relatively) stress-free, it’s flexible around my DC (primary age), DH has no flexibility. DC doesn’t cope with after school clubs every day and I want to spend time with DC. I can do school runs and always make the nativity / sports day etc!

I’m mid-40s and if I keep working in this role I can realistically retire early 50s.

I’ve considered various other job options but they would either involve working much harder, being more stressed, loss of flexibility. Or be much lower paid local jobs which would push the retirement plan back.

So I’ve kind of decided to embrace the positives, for now at least. But I need to shake things up a bit to improve things.

Anyone in the same boat?

Any creative ideas how I can keep my social battery charged while WFh and being on young child duty evenings/weekends?
Thanks

Completely get why you are keen to stick with the flexibility of your job around your child.

I’d say maximising any existing opportunities for conversation, eg on the school run, with neighbours, people who work in your local shop, etc. Voicenoting friends who are further afield. Volunteering if you have the time as well as your paid job- lots of opportunities for telephone/Zoom work with linked CPD which would give you the chance to have conversations with other adults about something interesting and rewarding.

Can you get a babysitter at least once a week so you can get out of the house of an evening before your husband is home? Do you leave the house before you start work in the morning?

@ThankYouNigel thanks. Unfortunately my two non-local good friends don’t do voice notes! So I respect that

@GOODCAT thanks. Yes I leave the house for the school run. Most other parents are rushing straight off to work though so limited opportunities to chat

It sounds like you can afford a babysitter a night or two a week? Find and join a local social thing - like a walking club or similar.

What do you do at the weekend? Could you do a bit of volunteering or social activity then? Eg parkrun is about 8.30-10am every Saturday (or juniors on Sunday probably finishes earlier).

Aren’t you just doing what loads of parents do? Which is make compromises in order to do what you think is best for the family and for you. Being able to set up your lifestyle so you can retire at 50 is an extraordinary privilege. But it really surely only works if the years between now and 50 are actually fulfilling as well as working for the family/children. Sounds an awful lot to me like your DH gets to do what he wants and you get the short end of the stick. If it’a not working for you, change it since you clearly have the financial bandwidth to do that.

sorry if that sounded a bit harsh btw. But it sounds very like you’re an extrovert has been pushed in into an introverted way of living because that’s what works for the rest of the family apart from you.

I start to go a little stir crazy if I WFH more than three days in a row. I don’t like the commute particularly or the wasted time in traffic, but I do like the camaraderie of the office. For days when I WFH, I make sure I have a gym class booked in or take a walk with a neighbour who also works from home. It’s not healthy to be so isolated.

If youre considering retiring young, what will you do to fill your time? That might be a good place to start

I’m the same, WFH full time and I’m so lonely, husband works shifts so he isn’t around a lot
I also don’t drive and we live rural so very limited to outings when husband is busy
he has a lot of hobbies and is always busy weekends!
I love going into the office when I do, it’s something to look forward to (which I find sad)

I'll join. I used to be hybrid (loved it) and now our office has shut and that's it. Work is much harder as we're all losing connections from each other. I make more mistakes now I don't see my colleagues, its so much more stressful.

I also can’t get my head around why retiring at 50 is a goal if you like the camaraderie of the office and don’t have anything much to replace that. Work is as much social for me as it is about a paycheck.

I wfh and absolutely LOVE it. I arrange a walk with a friend at lunchtime or 5.00 almost every day, and sort out dinner etc then fit in a workout as well. I seen more of my friends than I ever could working in an office. Could you do something similar?

I WFH permanently and love it so sorry you don't have the same experience.

I always have background noise on so a radio, podcast or watching something. I call my close colleagues daily for a check in and chat about not only work but other stuff too.

Our team chat is very active unfortunately but it's amusing 😂

I go out daily for a walk, run, to the supermarket or post office etc just for a change of scenery.

When kids get back from school I'll chat with them as well.

I hated it at first as it was around covid but I now have had to change my mindset and get in with it as it's not changing anytime soon.

I remember when dh started wfh and I was in the hospital. I’d get home socialed out and wanting silence and my introvert husband would suddenly become chatty mc chatty 😆 I now wfh 3 days a week so the balance is better and dc are teens and chatty too. Dh did join a sports club to be more social.

Near me a lot of people go and use WiFi spaces that welcome wfh people

Ours teams chats are active too

A local group fitness class or sport once or twice a week? (Get babysitter). I wfh pretty much all the time. Social stuff is book club (once every 6 wks or so), x2 a week evening fitness class, local nights out about once a month, shortly joining a choir. Am introvert so I dont need much but definitely upping the social stuff does help the isolation of wfh.

Do you have colleagues who also work remotely who could meet for a virtual coffee / chat etc? We do a lot of that too

A dog also helps- and needs walking every day .

Im in a position where I can't easily get out due to mobility issues and I dont drive. However at 81 Im still working. I run an online antiques business and also do postgrad tutoring. The tutoring can be quite intense and means that I do talk to others on a regular basis. However its strictly about work as my fees are high so my students expect value.

Ive in effect worked at home since the mid 80s when I returned to education and began my jouney through the higher education system. I hate interruptions so have always fared best working alone. As an academic I WAH 3 days a week but I didn't enjoy my days in the office. I always left early if I could.

I always have the radio of TV on in the background (I have Sky News on now) so I'm in touch with current affairs. I don't get involved with neighbours. They are pretty much a waste of my time.

I was also going to suggest a dog. Dog walking can be quite a social thing. Of course this only works if you are a dog person.

ETA: Also puppy training classes.

This probably isn’t relevant as you plan to retire but I fully WFH & I found it lonelier as the DC got older as I lost school run & the social interaction it gave me.
I try to go to in person exercise classes that allow for chatting eg circuits, arrange lunchtime walks with local friends (who I met at the school gates), & increase engagement at work. My colleagues are all remote workers so there is some appetite for short social video calls & chat about things eg sharing photos which we keep separate from our work chat.

What time does your DH leave in the morning? Would you be able to attend an early morning bootcamp/gym class? They are always busy in my experience, whether people are trying to fit it in before work or before their partner gets up/leaves and they have to do school run or be at home with small children. I’ve been to several different settings over the years and made some good friends at each, some of whom also wfh and are keen for a lunchtime walk or a quick coffee break during the day. I’ve also made a few SAHM friends who are more flexible when kids are at school - they’re often up for a coffee at odd times which sometimes fit better around my day.

Or what about a walking group? There are a few in my area, most seem to be aimed at retired people but you could try setting up a lunchtime one specifically for people who wfh, so will be on the same limited schedule.