Would you leave your near 18yo home alone for 10 nights?

[violetblue25]

Ds Would be nearly 18 and likely have driving license (this is for next summer). He’s autistic but extremely sensible, rule bound, highly highly intelligent so literally remembers everything he’s ever been told and sticks to it. Mainstream school and college. Hates holidays with a passion - too changeable and unfamiliar and too many people so obviously doesn’t want to come. Is good around the house and very tidy. Doesn’t really have an active social life outside of online gaming as it just isn’t his thing. My main worry is leaving him and him being lonely plus food as he’ll only eat beige over and over. And just the autism factor really. Lots of relatives within 30 mins but doesn’t need ‘looking after’ if that makes sense. No siblings at home or near. He wants to be left alone and we have done for 1 or 2 nights here or there and it’s been fine (would probably do a 3/4 night trip between now and then as a taster. Wwyd?

10 days seems quite a lot as a pp said - maybe a week?

The thing that would concern me is if something goes wrong. I know MNers are perfect parents and plan for absolutely everything, but lets just say as an example because it happened to us several years ago (fortunately when we were all at home), a waterpipe burst in the roof, would he know what to do and who to call?

Yes it’s good practice for independent living. However I would agree a routine together.
What ever that looks like - as otherwise they can drift through the days and get quite out of sync with sleep.

If he was at Uni he’d be alone.

I think it’s fine. Some kids this age are already holidaying with friends, and many will be going off to live away at university.

I was away and living at university at 18, also am autistic and was able to fend for myself. You have time to teach him to cook his favourite meals unless all his favourite meals are beige. I was certainly capable of making a stir fry and pasta at that age.

My nephew is not diagnosed but likely to have inherited the family genetic disposition and he has just come back from a week in Spain with friends at 18.

The independence will probably be good for him.

That's the age adults go to university and live alone in halls. You said he attends mainstream school in college anders capable of learning to drive so what's the issue.

My NT DS will be 18 later this year and I'm on the fence. They're adults and it should be fine, but 10 days would make me nervous tbh. My DS would have friends over and it could easily turn into a party - alone he's mature enough but put him with a group of other teens and who knows. Your DS might be taken advantage if his acquaintances discover that he's home alone. as others have pointed out.

I feel that university is different as they do have a certain amount of supervision during their first year as they're in halls. DD (21) did a few daft things I'm sure that she wouldn't do now.

I'm probably being silly! I'd be fine with a long weekend, but not 10 days quite yet.

Of course leave him. It will probably give him a lot of confidence going forward

I think I would, yes. He sounds like a sensible lad. And I know plenty of NT fully grown adults who only eat beige food permanently so 10 days of it wouldn’t overly concern me in the grand scheme of things!

This age group will be off to university end of next summer, he will be fine!

My friends autistic DS who sounds very similar to yours (intelligent, rule following, gamer, ) went off to Uni in a city 200 miles away before he was 18!

He was in catered halls for first year so he was getting reasonable if fairly plain meals and she just used to try to stuff fruit and veg in him when he was home on the holidays as well as encouraging him to keep taking his vitamin supplements.

He coped fine! So I don’t think 10 days would be an issue especially if you do a mini trip as you’ve said before the big trip away. And there’s relatives near by as well!

No

Especially not with their additional needs

But that's my situation you know what your kid is or isn't capable of

Its a no from me, high risk of mental health problems with asd and not really any friends especially if a school change is imminent. But you know your child.

Leave him but have a contact person who can help if needed. Make and freeze loads of food. Do this with him so he learns how to cook. Do a weekend away for your peace of mind. Being summer he won’t come down with a bug

Yes, that's pretty much fully grown adult stage.

Best 2 weeks of my young life was when my parents left me home alone for 2 weeks at 16. They were on holiday, I had just started a job so too soon to demand annual leave. (2 perfect weeks of sun, socialising, snacking and sex 😃.)

I left my son home alone around the same age in the knowledge he was super sensible and my parents are only 5 minutes away.

I’d leave them longer than that

My mother took my older sister to visit friends in Switzerland, leaving me, a teen, (I think 14-15) to cope with the house, my father, my younger sister, the dogs and cats for 2 weeks!
Everyone put on weight as I fried everything! Not the animals!

@Didimag48 Yes, I was left on my own too at 16, which is why I know I'm being a fuss saying that I'd be nervous leaving DS at 18. In his case, it's more his slightly daft friends that I'm concerned about.

of course I would

Yes. And have done. Left a very sensible 16 year old at home for a week.

I would but only if there were some trusted local adults/neighbours he could call on if there were an issue. Something going wrong with the house for eg.
We’ve left our DS with ASC, very similar sounding but our neighbours are brilliant and he knows them so I knew if on the off chance anything urgent did happen he could go to them for immediate help.