Did anyone stop at one child because their husband didn't share childcare?

[Slightyamusedandsilly]

Have any other mums refused to extend their family (from 1 child to 2, or 2 children to 3) because of the lack of participation of their husband in childcare?

My ex wanted a family. More than me. I was very very on the fence about children. But we had one because he wanted them. I didn't intend our child to be an only. But EH was so useless. Left me as the default parent. Did everything he could to avoid any parental duties.

So after 5 years, he started making noises about a 2nd. And I was blunt with him. No. You do nothing. I'm not doing it again. I don't even remember his response, because nothing he said could have changed my mind.

You were very sensible not to have another child with him. I can never understand why women have more than one if their husband/partner are useless.

I was in a very similar situation to you OP. My ex wanted a family more than me (wanted boys too and we had a girl). After we split he had another child with someone else who gave him the boy he was looking for. No idea whether he does more of the childcare than he did with me!

Seems sensible to me OP

My EH tried with his 2nd wife but I think they just didn't conceive. It might have been ok with her, him doing nothing, because she's very mumsy and house wifely. Whereas I was always more career focused.

But as I say, I would have had a 2nd one, if he's pulled his weight.

I firmly believe that this is a major contributory factor to the declining birthrates in the western world. That women have one baby, see how unfair the workload is and then refuse to have any more.

It would be interesting to see more stats on the declining birthrate? Is it because more women are only have 1 child or is it because more women are having no children?

Same. Then have 1 or 2 further chikdren and are surprised he doesn’t step up. He didn’t bother for the 1st one so why would he for any others?! Part of the reason my first husband and l had no children was due to his laziness and selfishness, it would have left me doing a world of stuff on my own

Exactly. This was my life for the first 7 or 8 years with a child on my own. Being married to EH doubled the work two because it became even more obvious how much extra work he made when I was juggling single-mother life with a man child. My life got easier the day I left him.

It was a contribution to the decision, for sure.

My Dh (chronically ill) went to see a doctor who said he absolutely must prioritise sleep if we had another child, that I would have to do all the night time waking. The payback would be that he would do more in the day.

My Dh was a lovely man and his illness was absolutely not his fault. He was conscientious and loving. But I looked at the realistic picture of what he did as a parent and what his illness stopped him doing and I could not see that changing in a really significant way. So we stopped at one.