Parents! How do you handle this? Tips advice please

[justmymummylifee]

So my eldest is 4 meaning he starts school this autumn! Very nervous but excited and hope he loves it as he speaks about it with excitement.

I have my youngest who is 2, and i am currently part time work 3/5 days so my plan is stay part time as we dont have childcare (only nursery for my 3 work days) and also during school holidays as it starts ive got 2 days guaranteed off a week! So can balance the others with annual leave, with DH and some family who may be willing to take the odd day here and there

My son was seen by general pediatrics the other month and they've referred him for an assement for being on the spectrum. This is the short story but weve had concerns regarding milestones, how he is socially and meltdowns etc. I wont go into this too much but I do find he can seem a bit jealous of little sister so do my best to balance both and assure them I love them both equally and try and help the jealousy

Now when hes in school , me and DD will go on outings on our days off. How do I balance it so he doesnt feel left out?

I mean I plan on keeping her nursery regular, so during half term and summer holidays she will be in nursery on usual days and i could have some 1-1 time with DS, would this help?

I dont want it becoming a jealousy thing or him feeling left out

How are we all juggling it? Its so new to us and I really want to help him transition smoothly ❤️

His first week they phase kids in so while DD is in nursery ive took time off im owed so I can be off and after his sessions phasing in we go on a fun outing before collecting DD. Just to help ease him in make him feel special too!

Firstly, she’s 2, so at least for now, you can just not tell him where you’ve been if you think he will be upset not to go? As she gets older I guess she might spill the beans though!

When my older daughter moans that she didn’t get to go to X place because she was at school I point out that I took her there many times before her little brother was born and now it’s his turn. She is also suspected autistic. However I do have a bigger age gap so I guess she was a little older when this started happening so maybe a little more understanding.

YY I would not really mention the outings to DS. I wouldn't hide it, but I wouldn't be all full of tales of our exciting day either.

And like you say when it's school holidays, there will be days DS is with you but DD is at nursery, so it will even out. Don't worry!

You don’t. I never felt the need to ‘balance’ the attention I gave mine because they spend different amounts of time in school/childcare. At 4, I wouldn’t even mention it. How would he know you’re not dropping your youngest to nursery after the school run like you do every day?

My eldest was in reception when her brother was born. She had me all to herself for 5 years, so she already was well ahead of him attention-wise. In primary school, she got to do so many things he didn’t, play dates, school trips, eventually sleepovers. She was honestly not bothered that he got to go to the library with me. You don’t make a big deal of it and you do fun things with them both when they’re both home.

I don't remember this ever being a problem. I'm sure your eldest will be too wrapped up in all the new school experiences to worry what his little sister is getting up to.

Sorry my youngest is very bright and very switched on so I personally wouldn't tell him it would be more a little worry she'd tell him type of thing. She's 2years7months old so past 2.5 mark not just turned 2!

Very ahead on speech and very clever

You just say ‘that’s right, Rosie went to soft play with me today, but we’ll go to the farm at half term’.

Honestly, this isn’t an issue.

Yeh I agree with others, I never did this at all. I have three DC and they are two years apart. They liked different things and had different interests. There is no way I could ever have balanced everything out. Just do what they need and what they enjoy.

I recall a mum I knew on us dropping our boys off at a Beavers sleepover tell me she was taking her DD to do xyz and what was I doing to make it up to my DD (same age as hers). I was like, nothing! I can't start with that. She will go on a Brownie day out. DS1 will play at a cricket match.

ETA my older two are ND btw tho we didn't know that when they were young. Honestly they were fine, it was never an issue.

You're overthinking it. It will all work out, don't overthink trying to make things fair, it all balances out.