If you don’t live in the U.K., what unimportant thing does your school system obsess over?

[Flynnstone]

In the U.K. policing uniform takes up a disproportionate amount of time. What is the equivalent pointless thing where you’re from?

Phew we’ve only had legegrupper in the first year. And then sporadically the play date pairs when there’s some kid(s) struggling socially in the class. Glad to hear there’s others out there who roll their eyes with me 🫣. I’m also baffled in the parent/teacher meetings when other parents are asking to make agreements on how much money to spend on birthday gifts/ what time bedtime we should agree on for the class/what age we will give mobile phones etc. I sometimes think: just parent your kid already! Rather than expect to be able to rely on saying ‘but the class agreed’ as a parenting tool!

Sometimes nothing happens and you can ‘forget’. This year we got a message home to all parents in the class with a telling off saying ‘the play dates are homework. We are expected to facilitate them and not doing them will be treated just as if homework is not done’. I.e. not much happens but if you have a child who wants to be compliant it creates a lot of stress.

Never dared! It was the done thing. Who wants their child (who is already different by not being native) being singled out as different even more so? Danes have a very homogenous society and there is huge emphasis on building social cohesion.

I was educated in Poland like 20 years ago.
The Polish obsession is Catholic Church.
It's everywhere - crosses on the walls at schools and in government buildings, etc. Catholic religion is a subject at school and most of the kids are forced by parents.to attend, so you feel like your kid will be bullied if they don't.
Before the sacraments like Holy Communion, the whole school goes to the church for rehearsals. Also, a few weeks before Easter the school is off for 3 days where you are expected to go to the church instead during Lent.
Overall, you cannot escape from that.
But there are no uniforms and school days are much shorted than in UK. Also, no obsession with attendance, they usually don't care unless you miss more than 30%, but it's on kids and parents themselves to catch up with the curriculum, because you might not get promotion to the next year if you fail some subjects (the schooling is heavily academic, there is loads to learn and a lot of homework and almost daily testing). The workload is very heavy, especially in the secondary.

Although in later years the class committee (parent reps and teachers) did give an opt out option.

Typically we get a message in the parent/school app with a list of all the groups or pairs and when they expect the play dates to happen. You don’t report back if it’s done necessarily but kids talk at school so it will be known. I can se @IbnBattutu is also not Danish 😅 as my Danish husband and Danes I speak to mostly think that this is normal and ‘good’.

Ireland is significantly more relaxed than UK schools on most things. Apart from the Leaving Cert, where the vast majority of kids will have extra tuition from Easter sessions, to a weekly class at the evenings and weekends. There is a whole grind school ecosystem.
Paper 1 of English is the first exam paper and is national news every year, strangers on the street will wish exam kids good luck (they are the only ones in school uniform that time of year so are obvious).

I’m not sure I fully understand, though with some knowledge of Danish social norms though Danish friends — school actually sets out which children you have play dates with? Is the idea that each child will eventually have had a playdate with everyone else in their class to promote general friendliness?

Québec, niggly.

The list is similar to the French one posted up thread - mind numbing.

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is bonkers - the school getting involved in who sees whom outside of school hours??

I can kinda see how the Danish thing could be good, help children to make friends and settle in a class together, and parents agreeing on rules like age for mobile phones stops the whole "but everyone else has a phone already" thing completely. But I would probably find it very annoying.

I would have said many Mners would love this — so many posters are obsessed with ‘cliques’ and their child apparently not getting play dates because they’re not in with the alpha mum clique, Here is a social system that says ‘It doesn’t matter if you’re awful and other parents avoid you. It doesn’t matter if your child is a disruptive spitfire who swears like a sailor. You still get to go on, and host, regular play dates in the services of social cohesion and the Law of Janet, because it is a rule.’

Can confirm. It didn't get to this stage with our classes thank God because I didn't have the headspace for it. But we still have 3 class events every year, organised by the parent class reps. And if you have a birthday party you either invite the whole class or the same sex as your child.

They try to make sure that everyone gets along with everyone else. There's no mixing up the classes so the ones you start school with aged 5 are the ones you finish with aged 15 or 16.

Jante, not Janet!😃

I live in Belgium. I don't have children so I can't say much about schools, except that they do have stationery lists, which can include things like handwash for the class.

What I find baffling is music education. It's generally not a subject in school and neither do children or adults get private instruction in an instrument. Children (and adults) have to learn at academies and often have to go through all sorts of general music classes before learning a specific instrument. A friend has to take two other classes to keep her access to her instrument one. Despite all this, the director of the academy has now decided she's been there too long and she's out next term. It really is the hardest way to learn to play an instrument.

The law of Janet

It did me!

stationery = lettERs

What would Janet’s Law be like? Might be quite draconian on the colour you’re allowed to paint your front door and table manners…?

I’m in Scotland and there is absolutely zero policing of uniform at any of my kids schools. The English schools’ obsession with it, and hair colour, and piercings, and footwear, always seems quite ridiculous to me.

Can confirm that for birthdays you either invite all kids of same sex as your child or the whole class (agreed in the parent teacher meeting). Luckily our school mix kids for the seventh grade (though this can be seen as super traumatic for the children that they leave the comfort of their class and have to learn new children. Same with teachers: they keep same teachers as much as possible which is great if it’s a great teacher but less good if you have the same crappy teacher for the fourth year in a row! This all makes for a much more socially cohesive class which is great but also children (and adults) that are less used to making new friends and interacting with new people as their upbringing has focussed on strengthening relationships with the friends you have and not making new ones. Hence the challenges when you move ;).

Yep, my kids’ schools in Scotland don’t give much of a shit about uniform. The policies are extremely permissive anyway, and even the basic rules they have, they are very relaxed about them. We have had occasional emails from the high school about eg. kids wearing jeans (almost any other type of trouser is fine - school trousers, joggers, legging, chinos etc all fine).

Attendance we get regular emails informing us what our kids attendance levels are, my DD has awful attendance due to severe asthma/regular hospital admissions. In 5 years at school the attendance officer has rung me once, and was just really helpful. We certainly can’t get prosecuted for taking our kids out of school for a holiday. But conversely I don’t really know anyone that does, except for the very last couple of days of the year.

The uniform obsession in England is baffling.

Same in Sweden. Absolutely no shoes.
We bring blankets when the fire alarm goes off during winter.

No obsessions. Perhaps that nothing can cost the students anything, so not allowed to ask parents even to bring an apple if going out somewhere. School provides everything.

Swedish schools for younger children (ages 6–12) generally emphasize safety, respect, and inclusion rather than discipline. They also place a strong focus on helping children understand why rules exist and basically how to be a good member of society.

No uniforms thank god. And we can easily take our children on holiday when we want, it’s often seen as a positive thing to see new cultures and learn new things.

France.

Stationery lists obvs.

Maths. It’s the sorting hat of subjects in France, used to identify the academic elite and propel them into the higher ranks of education / society. It’s made deliberately hard and maths teachers are a law unto themselves.

The Bac and grades /20. Others excellent students being marked down in one subject (maths) and out having a big impact in the overall grade.

‘Excellence’ and competitive exams being the best way to identify it.

Yeah school has to provide everything here (although it is allowed to bring in snacks on longer days in primary school). DD's class were supposed to go on an exchange trip to Germany next year but the school was unable to secure funding so the trip has been cancelled because they're not allowed to ask parents to pay (they are allowed to ask parents to pay for non-school related trips like a class trip to an amusement park at the end of term but its more usual for the class to raise funds for that trip themselves by running school discos)