What to expect for first meet up

[rosesarered888]

I’ve named changed for this as I feel quite silly.

Im meeting my son’s girlfriend for the first time this weekend. This is the first time he’s introduced me to a girlfriend and I sound stupid, but I’m nervous!

A bit of my background might explain why. Im from an Indian background, born and raised in London but my parents are from India and although they did well to integrate us, in our home they were quite strict about boyfriends etc. I dated my boyfriend for over 10years before I introduced him to them and that’s only because I wanted to marry him.

I have always been quite open with my kids and been a safe person for them to come to talk to when there’s anything on their mind ,or if they ask me for relationship advice etc.

my oldest is at Bath university. He’s had girlfriends before, but it was when he was at school and he never introduced me to any girlfriends, so this is all very new to me. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this or get any advice. I am hoping I will get some advice from mum’s who are more experienced.

Im travelling from Leicester to Bath by train. I have suggested we meet in a cafe or a casual restaurant near the station so it’s not too formal. Do I take a gift for her? What do I talk about? Do I give her a hug when he introduces us? Shake her hand, just say hi? I understand that she might be nervous too as she’s not from an Indian background and probably worried how I’m going to be.

I’m a friendly easy going person, but I don’t want to make either of them uncomfortable, so just want to get this right! Would appreciate any advice

Oh gosh don't worry! I expect she'll be far more nervous. I think a warm hug not handshake, no gift. I think what might work is if they meet your train on foot then you have a wander around chatting then go in somewhere for a drink. So much to see and lots of lovely things to look at and comment on so shouldn't be too awkward for you or her. Have a lovely time, it's so nice that he wants you both to meet

I wouldn't take a gift. Maybe start by asking her about what course she's studying and see where the conversation goes?

Try to relax if you can and follow her lead. She might go in for a hug or you could just say “ so lovely to meet you” Maybe you’d feel more comfortable having a brief hug when leaving.

I wouldn’t take a gift that might feel awkward as you are just meeting in a cafe they aren’t entertaining.
Try to let the conversation flow naturally. It’s lovely that DS wants you to meet her. The two most important women in his life.
Enjoy the meet up.

You sound lovely, I am sure it will go really well. Have a great time.

Thank you for the advice. I was worrying about it so much yesterday and overthinking it

Don’t take a gift and don’t hug her or shake her hand.
Just say hello nice to meet you. Talk about quite genetic stuff to start.

I am from a Chinese background and my Father had no idea I dated and was also only introduced to my future DH when I was 30. So very easy to believe you did that.

I met my son’s girlfriend a few weeks ago. They have been dating 10 months and he tells me it’s serious.
We met in a restaurant for lunch. On meeting I hugged her because it seemed like the right thing to do, but I am very much not usually a hugger.
My ds had told her I like plants so she gave me a plant she had propagated herself which was really sweet.
I’m not naturally a chatty person so I made sure I had a few pre prepared questions in case of awkward pauses in conversation. But it was fine, you sound lovely so just be yourself.

Thank you ladies. He’s asked me to meet up tomorrow instead of the weekend

I”ll keep all this advice in mind during the meet up!