It all kicked off in the swimming pool

[Poppystone]

Session times have changed because of the school holidays. There's no lane swimming during the day, only general swimming, which is making the early morning and evening swimming very busy.

My friend is a big man, well over six ft (ie takes up a lot of space) and a very good swimmer. He's gone into the fast lane and done his thing. There were two women also there swimming much too slowly for the fast lane. The target times for a length are published, so fast is not subjective, although they didn't appear to be aware of this.

Anyway they've objected and said they think he's very rude to be ploughing up and down. He thinks that's what the fast lane's for....

You don’t need to compromise if you’re clearly in the wrong though, which the ladies were.

I lane swim in the slow lane because I know I’m slower than those in the fast lane. The fast people, particularly those doing a front crawl properly can’t be expected to see and move out the way of a couple of ladies bobbing along chatting (and I bet they were, even if just a tiny bit).

It’s not entitled to be doing the right thing in the right place and you shouldn’t have to even consider compromising. It’s entitled to do the wrong thing in the wrong place and expecting others to make allowances.

Where does the OP say the women were doggy paddling and chatting? I think I missed that.

He was in the wrong, then.

Ploughing into women because he's such a big man and they shouldn't have been there when he's so much better than them is completely out of order.

Of course you still have to compromise. As others have explained, people swimming fast enough for the fast lane will still not be exactly the same speed as obe another, so if it's very busy those swimming the lane in 25 seconds will still be in the way of those swimming it in 17 - plus some people start very fast and slow down considerably over the 30 minutes or however long.

A fast swimmer doesn't get to barrel though making unwanted physical contact with other swimmers accidentally-on-purpose. Everyone swims clockwise and overtakes when appropriate or at the turn.

The OP makes no mention of these specific women failing to swim in single file.

No he wasn’t - the OP clearly states that the women weren’t swimming at the required speed for the fast lane, and there was a middle and slow lane, one of which would be most suitable.

The faster swimmer - swimming in the correct lane - would have been right in this event, whether they were a big man, a big woman or a big dog. The slow swimmers IN THE WRONG lane would have been wrong irrespective of being any sized man, woman or dog. They were in the wrong lane. He didn’t push anyone out of “their” space, they were in the WRONG space for their ability (or rather, their lack of).

Not everything all men do is done to spite women. And I say this as a woman who HAS encountered men like this. In my opinion, this swimmer didn’t do anything wrong and the women would have annoyed a lot of people.

** edited for typo

But the women were swimming TOO SLOWLY to qualify to use the FAST LANE and had a choice of two more lanes where there lack of speed would be ok.

They were in the wrong lane. If he swam a length in 25s and they were only 17s they should be in the middle or slow lane.

It’s not about whether he should move for another FAST swimmer, it’s about 2 women going FAR TOO SLOWLY to be in that lane in the first place. They were in the wrong.

It doesn't matter if they were synchronised sodding swimming in the fast lane, he's still not entitled to use his body to try and move them.
He should have used his words, not just barge into them.

More fun for a big man to put his body over a woman's, isn't it? Means he can touch, scare and distress them and then claim it's their fault for their bodies being in front of him.

I think people are getting over excited about what "contact" means.

I expect there was a clash of hands and feet or some similar passing contact, no one was "putting their body over" or barging anyone out of the way.

I hate those women! If you want to swim next to each other chatting, don’t go in the lane swimming section, go in the general section, I used to go swimming in my work lunchtime and this used to infuriate the hell out of me. It was so hard to swim round them. I might have “accidentally” kicked them a few times.

What a complete non-story. Unless there's a massive drip feed.

He should be able to swim in the correct direction without there being any contact - or only very minimal contact. I've seen it only too often with men at my pool where they take up most of the lane, head down, goggles on, pounding up and down, and everyone has to move out of their way. Swimming in a busy pool isn't just a case of being on a single trajectory at one speed - you do have to adjust your direction and pace when required.

They were both being unreasonable.
Big man should have used his words.
Slow women should have shown some self awareness and looked around at who else was in the lane and how they were swimming and moved down a lane. And / or waited at the end of a length for him to pass. Unless he was doing 2 lengths in less time than their one, in which case they were being ridiculous

@SirChenjins
Yes, also there are idiots who can’t swim backstroke properly and fling their arms out to the side , hitting me in the next lane as I swim past them.
(looking at you beardy bloke in the fast lane today)

This is why my DH gave up his membership at 2 separate well known gyms. He swam for his county and simply wants to get in and plough up and down for 20mins. Ideally without having to dodge the two old biddies swimming breast stroke side by side while they have a natter. In the ‘fast lane’.

Oh god yes - the backstrokers who rely on everyone else to watch out for them. Drives me mad. I have given up going swimming in the morning - I was getting far too annoyed. The woman who walked up and down the small pool exercising her arms using huge foam dumb bells, the fast lane hogger who ploughed up and down displacing half the pool as he went, the side by side chatterers, the ones who would not follow the arrow directions on the lanes, the backstrokers...DH suggested to me that it might not be the relaxing start to my day at 6.30am that I needed and he was right.

His size isn't really relevant. When I did lane swimming, if someone was in my lane and going faster than I wanted to, I went down a lane to a slower speed. If someone was in my lane and wanted to go slower than me, I went up a lane. That way it pretty much works out that similar speeds are together. If I was in the slow lane and someone wanted to go faster than me I didn't move, I expected them to, or bear the frustration. You're allowed to go slow in the slow lane. People should self-adapt so it all works out. That said, I made sure I went at a time of day where it was likely I could get a lane to myself (which I know isn't possible for you at the moment with the session changes).

I used to think people should have an assessment before being allowed to use the lanes - to weed out those who routinely throw water over the next three lanes as they swim.

I've done back stroke (alternating with other strokes) but it is possible to look behind you and make sure the lane is entirely clear before you set off for that length. It helps that I went at quiet times and often had the lane to myself though.

So go into any vacant lane and swim the way he wants.

Where do you swim that there are vacant lanes?

Not allowed to and there aren’t any - all pools near us have two lanes ‘roped’ off only for swimming - a fast and a not-fast one. The rest of the pool is for family swimming and group exercise classes. You are not allowed to speed swim outside the designated lane.

I went in the lunch break. It was very quiet then. Unfortunately I no longer lap swim as my skin has taken a dislike to chlorine.

Fair enough. Any other pools an option? Ours has a 'play lane', two slow lanes, two medium and a fast. As I went at a quiet time of day, the lanes could be managed naturally.

This is why I go to lady only sessions.

There are lanes-not fast or slow as such but there for if you want to more or less continuously swim. A section of the pool is roped off for aqua robics and the middle is for people who want to potter about.

It all works very well. Nobody bangs into anyone, we all smile at each other as we swim along-some very fast, others slowly- and have a brief chat if we stop at either end. It is a very happy experience.

Nope - they all operate the same system as standard. He also works so is limited to peak times sadly. He is opting to buy a lottery ticket instead so that if he wins the jackpot he can buy a house with a pool…🤣