It all kicked off in the swimming pool

[Poppystone]

Session times have changed because of the school holidays. There's no lane swimming during the day, only general swimming, which is making the early morning and evening swimming very busy.

My friend is a big man, well over six ft (ie takes up a lot of space) and a very good swimmer. He's gone into the fast lane and done his thing. There were two women also there swimming much too slowly for the fast lane. The target times for a length are published, so fast is not subjective, although they didn't appear to be aware of this.

Anyway they've objected and said they think he's very rude to be ploughing up and down. He thinks that's what the fast lane's for....

Maybe they were in the wrong lane but he dealt with it badly.
Whether it was from frustration or not taking care he should avoid the pool if it he unable to swim without making contact, deliberately or not.

Yes you are being completely unreasonable.
Apart from the swimming alongside each other during a lane swim.
If people are following the lane rules they can bloody well swim how they like. It's because of people like you that people are put off - the judgement.

and the lifeguards needs to properly manage that, so that people are aware.

Got it. You explained it fine, I interpreted it a different way.

Haha same, well a lake, but it’s enormous and has space for every type of swimmer 😂

Yes, I see that now. Hadn't had my coffee. I've cleared my goggle now

Im lost as to what ‘big man’ means or what that has to do with it. It could be a woman - fast lane means fast and the lifeguard should have straightened this out immediately or actually have told the slow swimmers to move out of that lane in the first place. However I have seen men that are faster swimmers (not everyone swims at the same fast speed) barrel into other fast swimmers as if they own the lane (and it always seems to be men). But size is irrelevant.

You keep saying it’s busier than usual. I understand that. But why are they in the fast lane?

The fast lane is for swimming fast. End of discussion, surely?

Except if he escalated by barreling into people - at that point the person choosing to physically intimidate others and make physical contact with them is in the wrong, regardless of speed.

The OP concedes he made physical contact with the women out of frustration and doesn't mention him actually speaking to them nor asking the lifeguard to tell them to change lane.

As long as they are in the correct lane I don’t see a problem at all.

Good to see the ladies exercising and socialising - both good activities. We should all enjoy swimming in our own way. Personally I’m a fast lane swimmer but getting on now so would move across if a much faster swimmer was there.

Ex lifeguard here. The lifeguard should have told
the slower swimmers to move.

how is that relevant? If you can’t hit the fast lane pace, get out. Don’t moan because fast swimmers are swimming suitably in the fast lane.

Lovely to hear that you would move to the middle lane @CallmePaulif faster swimmers than you are swimming, even female ones. It’s actually fairly rare for men, and for me, tells me a lot about them! I would ask them then and there if they were single if that was a normal etiquette! So so many men, especially generally fit ones, cannot handle at all women being faster than them in the pool. They will deliberately wait, push off just in front of me as I’m tumbling, peg a length as fast as they possibly can, and stop after 25m exhausted but having proven to themselves they are ‘faster’ than I am. Unaware of course that I’d had to switch to legs only behind them. Twats. It happens an embarrassing - for men - number of times.

It's not really his job, is it? And he might feel it's not his place.

Plus arguably most people know the meaning of the words "fast" and "slow".

@borntobequiet
awe thanks 🤩

I'm just back to swimming after a very long (20 year?) break and am reminded of one of the reasons I stopped. I spend a lot of time worrying I'm in the wrong lane. If I go in slow and there are the dry hair chatters pootling along, do they think I'm being intimidating? If I move to medium and can't quite match the speed of the others, am I being a frustration?

The general part is where swimming up and down slowly chatting is fine - just not in the lanes. In the general part kids practice handstands or dive for weights, and beginners practice widths before they can manage lengths. The general part is always an obstacle course unless the pool is almost empty - that's why lanes for actually swimming lengths are often roped off!

You really aren't in the right complaining about this in the general area - and it sounds as though you are complaining about everyone as you also disapprove of young people swimming fast...

The lanes exist for a reason. Busy pools are a nightmare for anyone who actually wants to swim but that's the same for everyone and simply due to numbers.

“Big man” sounds like an arsehole. If he can’t behave considerately he shouldn’t use shared public spaces.

I can't believe I've read a whole thread about some women I dont know getting mildly cross with a man I dont know because of a disagreement about lane swimming. Recounted by someone that wasn't any of these 3 people. I really need to spend my days off more constructively.
However I have so I may as well comment : IMO big man does seem like he was a bit of an arse- couldn't he have just politely directed them to the correct lane rather than plowing past and storming off?

Sounds like he was a being a dick tbh if he ‘made physical contact out of frustration’. Like a pp, I have encountered a lot of arsehole men in swimming pools so, although the ladies may well have been in the wrong to use the fast lane, I can easily picture a situation where a ‘big fast man’ acts unreasonably around slower female swimmers. Tall men don’t actually have to be good swimmers to complete a length quickly so there is no guarantee he is someone who swims with awareness, good technique etc juts cos he is fast. He should have spoken to them or the lifeguard.

I used to be a very fast and proficient swimmer, realistically, if he is a very good, very fast swimmer it will always be difficult to manage lanes in standard public sessions at a local swimming pool. (At least this is what it’s like near me). The only place I managed to avoid this issue was a 50m university pool. One of the reasons my swimming ability has massively declined is because I can’t get there anymore and my local pool just isn’t set up for people who can swim fast and well. It’s unrealistic you can rock up to a busy summer holiday session and expect to be able to swim as you might want to without clashing with someone.

Just don't barrel into anyone, follow the rules about swimming clockwise not up and down the middle, and speak politely to anyone who is actually blocking your way on an ongoing basis and you'll be fine.

Which are full of shit?

So, he deliberately ploughed on to them. Why does he need to walk away just because he is a very big man? Would he have also deliberately ploughed in to another very big man?

He was being a bully. All he had to do was have a word with the pool staff to ask them to move. He didn’t do that, he decided to be a bully and use his size against them.

They shouldn’t have been there (according to him) but that doesn’t give him the right to act like a twat.

It's never OK to bash into people in the pool though. The reasonable steps to take are 1) to point out to the slow swimmer that they may be more comfortable in a slower lane or 2) ask the pool staff to have a word. Sometimes I swim the fast lane because I'm going faster than everyone in the medium lane but it's not fast enough for the aggressive (usually male) swimmers who feel I am just an obstacle in their way. I've been crashed into and hurt because they can't look where they're going.

Absolutely my experience too. And they usually have shite technique.