Ds best friend moving, how can I help him?

[YesToSunshine]

Ds has been best friends with another boy for a few years, they are both 9. They are inseparable and hang out every day. Everyone knows them as the boys that are always together.
Ds told me his friend is moving in a few weeks to a different country. Understandably, Ds is heartbroken. Im incredibly sad and it’s such a shock that he’s going.

How can I help ds? I keep choking up when I think of them together.

It will feel like a bereavement - being left behind is horrible. He will move on but the loss will leave a mark.

Keep him busy-ish, don’t push him to replace his friend but perhaps give him some nice things to look forward to and a few play dates or maybe take up a new sport.

Happened to me when I was 11 and I didn’t get to see my best friend again until we could visit a year later (5 hour journey). It was amazing to see her, it helped me realise she had a new life and I wasn’t part of it. But we wrote to each other for many years.

Perhaps your boys could be friends on Roblox? That was how my dd kept up friendships during Covid lockdown at age 9! She would have a voice call running with her friends, and they’d all join the same server and run round as their Avatars playing Among Us or whatever.

My DDs best friend moved away last year when they had just turned ten - not abroad, but a few hours drive away, so too far for day trips.
We planned in a visit before she left so they knew when they would see each other again, and her mum and I set up a WhatsApp chat just for them on our phones so they could voice note or message as they liked (neither have phones).
For the first few weeks they messaged a lot and wrote each other letters etc, and then as they got used to being apart it has gradually calmed down a bit. I actually think I was more heartbroken about it than DD, but they’re still close and with a bit of effort the friendship will survive.

agree with PP that it’s like a bereavement, it was a really sad time.

It’s so sad for them. I will ask the parents about keeping in touch virtually, I know it’s not the same. I hope they would like to

Really feel for you, we've been that family that moved away and my 9 YO was heart broken. The advice I got from a counselor at the school was to try not to brush it under the carpet (not that you are!) but to acknowledge that it is really sad and a loss, make sure they have something like a nice photo together. Celebrate that friendship and know that being able to form those bonds means that you can do it again.

We don't do computer games or anything but me and some other mum's of her old friends will swap videos and VNs from the girls. It's been a few years now and she does still remember her old friends but also has moved on and made new friends. It is a bit bittersweet as I swear no one ever left our school but I think it is a different world now people move around a lot more.

I remember my friend moving away ( many years ago) we stayed in touch by post a few times then it dwindled. I cant remember feeling as sad about it as I do now and she was my best friend. When it’s your dc who is hurting things feel so much worse.

Each day is feeling worse now. Ds was upset yesterday as he realised best friend will not be able to come to his birthday party. All the plans we made for ds birthday involved him. Ds cared more about if friend was happy with the plans than himself. Ds is starting to realise all the days he won’t get to share with friend once he leaves.