3.5 year old moved to bed = awful bedtimes

[bt1234]

My daughter climbed out of her cot bed for the first time last week so we have taken the bars off it and turned it into a bed.
I have no idea how to do bedtime now. What was once really fairly easy is now a nightmare.
We used to put her in her cot after the usual bath, stories toothbrush etc,.we would sit in an armchair in her room for 5 minutes then say goodnight and tell her we'd check on her in 10 minutes and leave (never had to check on her)
Now I've tried the same thing but when we tried to leave she kept following us out, we tried quietly walking her back to her bed but the minute we left she followed us again.
She doesn't have a gate on her bedroom door as it's an odd size/shape (there's one at the top of the stairs)
Or if i stay in her room and try to wait until she falls asleep she keeps getting up and coming over to try and talk to me
She has used every procrastination under the sun - she needs a wee, shes hungry, she's thirsty. I just repeat "it's sleepy time, you can wait until tomorrow"
Shes still in nappies at night so I'm not taking her for a wee when she says she needs one.
She has just got a gro clock and normally sleeps through so my issues at the moment are more about bedtime than middle of the night wake ups
Any advice??

return to bed each time, be very boring, say it’s time for bed, repeat and she will realise that nothing fun is happening and go to sleep after a couple of nights

and don’t stay in the room!

My DD was the same when we moved to a bed. It is short lived.

Re the nappies - my DD is still in nappies at night but there’s a difference between wee at night when unconscious and actually needing one IYSWIM.

We went to a single floor bed at 12 months - we just sit or lie with our toddler til she’s asleep then move away. So much easier than trying to leave.

Return her to bed and leave the room. No talking after the first couple when you just calmly tell her it’s bedtime.

Repeat on a loop until it stops.

You need to be more persistent than she is.

It’s worth the effort.

What you're doing is right i.e. quietly returning her to bed, but you just need to stick with it. It's a nightmare, but it will work eventually.

You can back this up with a star chart too. She gets a star if she goes to sleep without getting out of bed. Every morning that she has a star on her chart she can choose a prize (have a bag of small gifts...it's an ideal way to use party bag tat/front of magazine tat that she's forgotten about!).

That's dreadful parenting. How is that going to help your child to sleep themselves and how will that help you and your relationship. Please don't do that.

Either find a way to gate, or do as a PP said and keep taking them back to bed and ignoring.

Ok so the consensus is put her to bed then leave immediately and just walk her back to bed constantly? Thanks for all the responses

Thanks, she always has a wee before bed so I think it's just procrastination saying she needs one

Shes still in nappies at night so I'm not taking her for a wee when she says she needs one.

if she is consciously saying she needs a wee she is ready to be fully potty trained.
Take her to the toilet and back again with jo communication

It's a change and it needs a new routine that's all. You just need to be consistent with your approach. DS went through a stage at 2 1/2 when his dad left and he was up and down like a yo-yo. It took about a week of taking him back to bed repeatedly before he settled again. Rinse and repeat. I used to sit on the stairs where he couldn't see me, ready for him getting out of bed. First time "it's bed time now DS, night night". Second time "it's bedtime now DS, night night". Third and subsequent, I said nothing.

Agree with return her to bed with minimal talking and don't stay in the room. We had to get (expensive) adjustable stair gates for our dd's odd door frame but it was worth it to ensure she stayed in her room and couldn't bolt. (It wouldn't have even occurred to DS to try and leave the room(!)) I want to say BabyDan was the company that made flexible gates to fit any frame, might be work considering for your sanity and peace of mind?

I see what you mean. My thinking was it was a 99% chance she was using it to delay bedtime so not to pander to her when she's making it up
If I do take her to the toilet then she asks again and again do I keep taking her?

You can, but with minimal talking and eye contact. Then straight back to bed. Make sure there’s no fun about her delaying tactics and that she gets bored before you do (not easy, I know)

Lying with a toddler is not “terrible parenting” get a grip!!

I hope you arent a parent. If so, my heart breaks for your kids. My daughter sleeps through on her own once she has gone to sleep. We love lying with her at bedtime, she is a tiny child.

I think it’s mad how many people are advocating essentially punishing a child for not going to sleep, and locking them in their room. Shes 3, not 13