I have seriously overstretched with a barbecue and I am panicking.

[Theresip]

I decided to have a barbecue next weekend because I’ve got my garden looking the way I want it and I do enjoy hosting. I’ve been inviting people for the last couple of weeks or so. I thought I’d invited around 10 people but I haven’t. I’ve invited almost 20. I’ve only just counted them up and now I am seriously panicking.

I’m not a particularly good cook, never mind on a barbecue. How on earth can I do 20 burgers and sausages and time it so people aren’t sitting starving? It’s a charcoal barbecue so putting more charcoal on after one batch would mean some people waiting another 40 minutes whilst the coals cook and I cook again?? What can I do?

And also, my garden isn’t tiny, but it’s not particularly big. I have a garden sofa and stools that could fit around six people near the kitchen door, and then on the upper decking I’ve got a high dining table that would seat another six. I do have additional small stools but they’re too little for the high table and it would be very squashed round the other table because it’s right in front of the kitchen where everyone will be getting their drinks.

Any advice gratefully received. I have never hosted for this number.

I’m sure they will offer to help. That is no issue.

Well if it works for you then that sounds likes it works out great.

I have no doubt people will ask if they can help, but none of them would have a burning desire to barbecue or stand around the barbecue

Pretty huge 'I haven't bothered to read all OP's updates let alone the full thread' red flag tbh.

Hence your completely pointless post.

OP is not married - she has a DP not a DH.

OP does not live with her DP, therefore he hasn't "deliberately left the house".

Her guests will not be "baffled" that OP is hosting the bbq without her "husband" as she doesn't have one

It's not a "garden warming" party - you just made that up.

I will never understand why a person writes a long post without at least reading all the OP's updates.

He’s not a new partner! We have been together for years. I have known him longer than any guest invited and I have known many of them for years too.

Yes, he is happy to ‘let’ me host a barbecue for my friends in my garden. I feel for people who are so codependent that they can’t spend the afternoon in their garden with their friends without needing their partner there, and for those whose partner would care whether they’re invited.

Is there fuck.

A woman hosts a barbecue in her garden for a set of friends who all know each other. That is entirely normal.

Honestly, I always think of this site as quite feminist and then you get a thread like this.

No, I don’t agree. The OP has invited her own friends/colleagues to her own house for a bbq. On this occasion, her partner isn’t coming. I don’t see an issue with it.

I think the outrage of hearing a barbecue is being hosted without a man must be too much for some people.

This thread has been trending for so long with so many identifying details it's almost certain that one of those 20 guests will know exactly who it is. Whatsapp messages are probably flying behind the scenes

I doubt many of them use Mumsnet but even if they did identify me, so what? It’s just a thread about a barbecue?

Really? I’d say it’s far more likely that none of those 20 people use MN. But even if they could identify the situation, so what? All the OP has done is to ask for advice on how to feed everyone!

I have done the same with friends too! My best friends husband asked if I’d like him to do the bbq seeing as I was sorting everything else out (single parent) and I couldn’t handle him the tongs fast enough

Please don’t buy minging frankfurter sausages 🤢 I’d be gutted if I was invited to a bbq and cheap nasty burgers and sausages were all that was available , I’d rather get asked to bring my own tbh. I wouldn’t worry too much about seating, people usually stand up and mill around at bbqs. Rope people in to help with the cooking, stop stressing and have fun!

Well that is kind if you are dealing with children too.

Lots of people like hotdogs and I’m not sure why you think the burgers will be cheap or nasty.

It has been quite the bizarre thread.

First outrage about how I could dare to host without my husband, then anger my partner isn’t invited, then suggestions I could get any man to plan and cook given the lack of husband, followed by bizarre statements about how I don’t have a garden, am hosting in a ‘tiny’ space, and that I should’ve met with the guests for a coffee before daring to ask them to socialise at my home. Also a couple of suggestions I’ll be responsible for wild fires and that no where in the UK could possibly have rain forecast this week.

But a lot more very helpful advice for which I am grateful.

Even worse… she has decking. Shocking behaviour.

When I first moved in I thought the house DID have fake grass because it was so beautiful, but then it started to grow, sadly.

I have informed DP that next Saturday he needs to be here to discuss whether he thinks Linda from HR’s planning to hand in her resignation and give us his insight as to what the future of paint production in China is (not real names or industry before there’s any further panic that I’m identified by the barbecue guests). He must do this whilst both planning and manning the barbecue, and fetching people’s drinks. It’s a good opportunity for him. I think he’s excited.

Well no, I haven’t. I’ve never been to South Africa!

I have never been to one, but I suspect women in South Africa can also barbecue.

Sadly none have ever invited me to a bbq.