I have seriously overstretched with a barbecue and I am panicking.

[Theresip]

I decided to have a barbecue next weekend because I’ve got my garden looking the way I want it and I do enjoy hosting. I’ve been inviting people for the last couple of weeks or so. I thought I’d invited around 10 people but I haven’t. I’ve invited almost 20. I’ve only just counted them up and now I am seriously panicking.

I’m not a particularly good cook, never mind on a barbecue. How on earth can I do 20 burgers and sausages and time it so people aren’t sitting starving? It’s a charcoal barbecue so putting more charcoal on after one batch would mean some people waiting another 40 minutes whilst the coals cook and I cook again?? What can I do?

And also, my garden isn’t tiny, but it’s not particularly big. I have a garden sofa and stools that could fit around six people near the kitchen door, and then on the upper decking I’ve got a high dining table that would seat another six. I do have additional small stools but they’re too little for the high table and it would be very squashed round the other table because it’s right in front of the kitchen where everyone will be getting their drinks.

Any advice gratefully received. I have never hosted for this number.

Like I said decking not a garden

A garden is still a garden, even if it doesn’t have a lawn. It can be paved/gravelled/decked and still a garden.
Entirely irrelevant to the thread, however.

I don’t think you understand the definition of garden.

Crisps and dips. A large pasta salad. Regular salad. Coleslaw. We had 15 over recently and had far too much BBQ food. Most people only had a burger and a sausage or chicken skewer, along with some salads etc. Someone kindly brought a dessert and I had a load of ice cream and strawberries too. Agree to keep things warm in the oven.

I got this recently, it’s comfortable, non clingy and flattering. It also doesn’t lose its shape. I’m a size 8/10 5ft 5 for reference

I love that this thread is part helpful advice, part internalised misogyny, and part completely unhinged madness from one poster who has taken offence at a woman having a barbeque.

I won't give advice because there's been lots given already, and the OP is clearly a capable woman who will take the strategies she needs and it will undoubtedly go without a hitch.

I'm really still just here for the absolute dismay and indignation that a man won't be manning the very complicated and dangerous hole of manly fire.

ETA: nice dress, might get one

Ah I thought it would be because he made a holy show of himself previously 😂😂.

Pringles, garlic bread, mini potatoes baked in the air fryer with a dash of olive oil and your favourite seasoning and some coleslaw and you’ll be fine! Your friends are there to see youz

Why isn’t your partner invited to this bbq out of interest?!

For the reasons she’s already given on this thread.

I’ve already explained earlier on in the thread, but the, now 23, people who are coming all either work together or have done so previously, so we all know each other. My DP has only met a couple of them once or twice and it would be his idea of Hell to meet a garden full of strangers all at once, and even if that didn’t bother him, much of the conversation would be lost on him.

So basically, because I wouldn’t want him here and he wouldn’t want to be here.

It's totally baffled me too , it's like you don't know the people your are inviting but half of the people on this thread are convinced a male will take over.
Tbh honest I'd be pissed off if a male or female tried to take over.

"She is having a barbeque without a male partner present..." faints dramatically but femininely out of absolute SHOCK 😲

Yep me too. It’s obviously great if someone offers to help for a few minutes whilst you use the bathroom or top your drink up or get the buns or whatever, but it would feel extremely odd to have someone else doing the full barbecue.

Sometimes he sees his friends without me too. I need to tell him it’s not on.

Well that's completely ridiculous. Obviously you either need to LTB or become completely enmeshed with zero hope of ever becoming independent again because that is clearly the ONLY way to ever be happy.

Whatever you do, DO NOT ATTEMPT A BARBEQUE WITHOUT A MAN PRESENT.

I guess it depends how close you are to the people attending. We host lots of BBQs for family and friends. Whilst put on everything, people are always willing to get stuck in and help, and it's not awkward because that's what we'd all do for each other. I guess it's a bit different if it's work colleagues who you are hosting and aren't as close to.

As for the sexism... I'm totally in that camp, on this. I haven't yet hosted, or been to, a BBQ where the men haven't ended up gathered around the BBQ discussing BBQ-ing. I find it hilarious. They find it hilarious.

It's all very chilled, though.

Have a great time ☺️

Well booking 20 people and not realising is flaky.

I haven't yet hosted, or been to, a BBQ where the men haven't ended up gathered around the BBQ discussing BBQ-ing.

Same. But OP is absolutely certain none of the men attending her bbq are 'that type' - and she wouldn't want anyone stepping up to bbq anyway, even though she states she is 'not a particularly good cook, never mind on a barbecue'.

It’s funny because I’ve never been to a bbq where that has happened! Most of the women I know would be pissed off if a group of blokes tried to take over the bbq-ing.

Well no, booking for 20 and then cancelling would be flakey

Really? Every bbq I have been to it happens.

I would do anything to avoid bbq img meat and waving away the smoke, so I’m very happy to be chilling with a glass of rose chatting to my girlfriends

Omgosh I'm in your shoes. Hosting an event for families this Saturday and I had 30 people (adults and children) RSVP yes. Just this week saw two families who hadn't responded back despite reminder messages being sent out and they said "see you on Saturday!"that's an extra almost 10 people and now I'm panicking inside. Lmk how it goes!

Why wouldn’t you check what flaky means before posting? You do not understand the word.

Very quietly, I’m having a barbecue this Friday too. Only for four friends though. There won’t be any man on the barbecue then either. It’ll be a disaster.

Does one of these men usually live in the house which is hosting?