Is this flirting?

[joelm1776]

I work as a tutor for university students, and I have a student who seems to be flirting with me but I'm not sure. Under most circumstances I wouldn't be in any doubt about it, but she's been diagnosed as mildly on the autistic spectrum and, after having worked with a few students with a similar diagnosis, I've noticed that they can be very open and unguarded in a way that could be misinterpreted.

When we meet for tutorials we might, as I think is normal, have a bit of small talk at the beginning, but she gives me lots of quite personal info about what shes's been doing e.g. she talks a lot about her pole dancing classes and sometimes mentions outfits she has bought. However, she does talk about it in a very matter of fact way . She has also emailed me photos a few time, but nothing sexual, just a new haircut, new nails etc

I have a partner, and I have considered no longer having tutorials with her, but she's quite a sensitive person and might take it badly, and it is entirely possible that she is just being very open and friendly and not even realising that it is coming across differently.

Does she over-share in general?
Are you male or female (wondering if female, she might assume you have similar interests)?

Yeah, it just sounds like she's factually telling you what she's up to.

I would say that she does overshare in general, but leans more towards slightly flirty topics. sh also mentioned her experiences on a dating app.

I am male, and I am definitely not fit enough for pole dancing haha

Im a massive over sharer and these are the things I would say and definitely wouldn't be flirting just telling you about life.

Most meetings start with a bit of small talk, usually in context though. So, in your situation about the university and her course in general. If you lead the conversation specifically that way it won't give her much opportunity to talk about her hobbies, nails, hair etc. If she does then begin talking about her personal life don't engage, just nod and move on to the purpose of the meeting.

That might seem cold but you will be teaching her a valuable life lesson that will save her a lot of embarrassment and possibly setbacks once she leaves education. Imagine her going into a meeting with her future employer / manager and telling them about her pole dancing as a prelude to her performance review.

Yes I think you should stop having tutorials with her. You are crossing a professional line and I can't see your partner being happy with your relationship either.

Don’t risk your career, get her tutor changed. What she is talking about is wholly inappropriate. Don’t care if she is an over sharer. Personally it’s not worth risking your career. I mean you could have immediately mentioned this is inappropriate please stick to the subject matter which is what you should do. Better to be thought of as a stick in the mud boring old academic. You are not there to be their mate ever. Appropriate personal sharing is when they have problems. We had a woman who was being abused by her BF. She confided in my colleague who was male, he freaked inside. she had no idea, he came straight to me and we got her the help she needed.

I don’t see how this is flirting or you even think that to be honest.

are you attracted to her, is this the issue, you’re having these thoughts about her so thinking she’s thinking the same back?