What is up with me - Crippled by fear of "the wrong decision"

[LittlePrecious]

I have a weird thing and I wonder if anyone else experiences this.

If I need or want something new, I find myself crippled by indecision about which one of the thing to get. I can stand in a shop or browse a website for hours looking at the things weighing up all the different options and outcomes. All the while I'm thinking "Must choose the right one".

When I do make a decision, I then have intrusive thoughts that the one I chose wasn't the right one. But it doesn't matter even if that's true because I'm only getting these feelings about things that are easily replaced or swapped.

I thought it was down to too much choice online so I started making the effort to go to shops so I'm limited by what's immediately available. That didn't really work.

It's bloody stupid because I get this feeling about really inconsequential things. I don't get this way about "big" things in life at all - only little things that mean nothing.
Does anyone else experience anything remotely like this? How insane am I?

Yes! Exactly this and it drives me nuts.
crippled by my indecision.

Yes im like this. I have to read reviews and research and even once ive decided I continue to second guess my choice. But big things im alot more impulsive and fuck it just do it attitude. Its odd and annoying

I also carefully consider a purchase, so that money isn't wasted. I usually read a few reviews. But then once I've decided I don't think about it again.

I would say that it's this element which is the problem? You mention continuing to fret about whether you've made the right decision, and having intrusive thoughts. This sounds a bit like OCD. Even if it isn't, perhaps looking up some of the coping strategies for OCD/intrusive thoughts might help you?

Yes, I do! It doesn't get better after I've chosen, either - I dither over what to send back and often miss the return window 🙄 Charity shops do pretty well out of me.

In my case, I think it comes from having been hard up for quite a few long periods, in childhood and as an adult. It's left me with an excessive commitment to 'value'. As an extension of the same, I have to battle a feeling of failure over things I bought but didn't end up using much.

At the same time, I have expensive hobbies and the amount I spend on those barely registers. Like you, too, I'm very quick and logical with big decisions! I suppose the impoverished periods were times when I couldn't afford hobbies or large expenses, period. So I only developed nit-picky angst over the kind of things I had to buy with very limited funds.

While I do my best to talk myself through it, the nagging feelings persist. If it's any comfort, one of my friends is a multi-millionaire and also wastes hours/days/weeks agonising over whether she's getting the best value for everything!

I do it to some extent, I wonder whether it's because it's something I don't genuinely need, just want or would be nice. That's the problem with having time for browsing I think.

Yes I am like it with a new running watch at the moment. I think it's because (a) I don't need it, I just want a new ones; and (b) none of the options are exactly what I want (a lot of running watches these days are huge).

I'm like it with trips away, too. I find it incredibly stressful pressing the button to book! Probably because it's generally quite a lot of money and you can't generally change it once done.

Me too. There's just too much choice and you start overthinking that one might be better than the other but then scroll a bit more and oooh maybe this one is better.

I wish I wasn't liked this either. Drives my family mad too.

I think I get it from my mum so it's all her fault.🙄

I'm the same with doing lots of research and reading reviews, although if I do go on to buy something I tend to feel I have got the one that I want.

I think it is worse with things that are optional, so when my washing machine broke down I HAD to get a new one so made a decision without too much bother, but I can't make a decision on things like a holiday, or where I should put up a load of pictures.

I think being single and without any really close friends makes it worse as I don't have anyone to bounce ideas off.

Ah my people!

I'm really chilled when it comes to things like trips away. My attitude is that it'll either be great or it'll be so bad it's hilarious. If its really terrible, everything is rectifiable - just fuck it on the head and come home. I'd be totally fine with that.

But I can spend hours agonising over which bedding plants to get for my summer garden, where to get them from, how many to get. It's so fucking odd and irritating.

My husband is a bit like that. He really gets frozen. So I do most of the picking, I just pick one, buy it and never think about it again.