Deleting photos of your exes

[Chiaseedling]

I was chatting to mid-20s DD who was telling me she’d deleted all photos of her exes from her phone (is currently single). This was in the back of a friend of hers saying his gf still had photos of her ex in her phone.

i must be old fashioned as I’m sure it wasn’t a ‘thing’ to do this back in the dating days of the 80s/90s (ie, throw away printed photos) you’d keep your exes photos in a memory box I suppose (maybe not in an album - or hide the album?!).

I think it’s sad that today’s young people can’t keep ‘memories’ of their old romances like we did. Or am I being silly?

I just threw them away.
No memory boxes here...

I think it really depends on the split and how long you were with them for. I was with my Ex for 5 years I kept a photo. But I have been married to my husband and together for 10 years there really is no point of keeping the photo I would chuck it if I came across it:)

I don’t think this is a young people thing. I think it may just be your dd and related to her relationship (either previous ones or current). There are certain guys who don’t like the idea of women having a past. I still have every photo I’ve ever taken of exes. I still have some on social media from back in the dark ages! I’ve been happily married to Dh for 18 years. But it’s part of my history. I wouldn’t throw any of it out.

I’ve just looked on my husband’s Facebook photos and he still has pictures of his ex wife and there daughter, this doesn’t bother me.
I have an adult son and I’m pretty sure there are a few photos from a family bbq with him and his first girlfriend in an album, hasn’t occurred to me to get rid of them.

Still have all my old photos showing partners from when I was younger (real photos, not digital).
Sure my OH also has some.
We just don't get the boxes of photos out and look through them but the photos are certainly there, never crossed either of our minds to get rid.

Life happened. You can’t scrub it out. I don’t have much in the way of ex photos but that’s ’cos I’m old and have been married 35 years. I certainly wouldn’t have ditched them, unless it had been a very traumatic end.

That history happened. We shouldn’t just forget it or bin it. It’s part of who we are today.

I haven’t kept any of mine (my dating history was 80s/90s so pre-digital). I’ve thrown them out as and when I’ve come across them, but they weren’t in a memory box or similar, just in with all the other old photos. All letters shredded too (again my history pre-dates emails/texts). They are in the past, I’ll never see them or anyone who knows them again, in some cases I definitely want to forget them.

I think I have a few packs of printed photos from 25 years ago somewhere in a box in the attic- mostly of me and my ex. I’m married with teenagers now, but I remember during the last house move I decided not to throw them away as we did so much travelling together at the time. South America, Asia etc. and they’re all happy memories of those places in those photos. Maybe I’d feel differently if we had had a bad break up or experience.

No, I got rid of all photos of previous exes. They're an ex. If I need a memory I can picture them in my mind. That's my choice, and I've always thought that for 35 years.

I personally think it's also disrespectful to a current partner to keep photos or videos of exes.

Yes it feels a bit disrespectful to current partners to me too, as if you are still attached to them. Also, I'm going to be clearing my parents house soon and this has focussed my mind a bit on what my DCs will find when they clear ours, I don't particularly want them finding old love letters or photos of me with a strange man's arm round my shoulder or whatever. Might be different if I had children with them or were married, I wouldn't keep that a secret and they know I had previous BFs but no detail.

i must be old fashioned as I’m sure it wasn’t a ‘thing’ to do this back in the dating days of the 80s/90s (ie, throw away printed photos) you’d keep your exes photos in a memory box

I think it’s sad that today’s young people can’t keep ‘memories’ of their old romances like we did.

This isn’t a generational thing and there’s no universal rule - there isn’t now and there never has been.

I was dating in the 90s and I certainly don’t have a ‘memory box’ of photos of my exes.

I split up with them for a reason! I ditched my photos of them because I didn’t have any desire to look back on them; I didn’t think of them fondly and I still don’t.

It wasn’t considered strange to do that. It was always just individual preference.

It’s the same now. Some people keep them, some don’t. There’s no rule.

I’m not sure why you find it sad that someone wouldn’t keep photos of an ex. If you want to, fine. But plenty of people would just find it healthier to move on. Most splits aren’t especially amicable. Many people don’t really want to look back on photos of someone who dumped them, or cheated on them, or was abusive, or desperately clingy or something.

That history happened. We shouldn’t just forget it or bin it. It’s part of who we are today.

What do you think I would actually gain from looking at a photo of a bloke I dated 30 years ago? My exes are people I have zero interest in and no affection for.

The fact that something happened doesn’t mean it has to be relived through pictures. Sure, past relationships were part of my history, but I really don’t need a visual reminder of them to confirm that formally.

I wouldn’t see it as ‘looking at a guy I dated’.
It’s more about remembering being 17, or 20, or whenever. The pub we all used to hang out at, the day we went to wherever. What we wore. I tend to have forgotten whole swathes of stuff that I get reminded of when I see pictures. It’s not like I look at them regularly, they’re just in a box I come across occasionally when I’m tidying cupboards.

Thanks for the interesting responses! I am more of the camp of @PrizedPickledPopcornwhere it’s about a time in your life or you travelled (would you throw all your holiday snaps away for example?).

I met DH relatively young so no big dating history but friends of mine def still have photos of exes in albums from the 80s/90s cos that was their life then!

Obviously if it was a traumatic break-up that’s different, but not all are. I get that you may not want it popping up on your phone ‘memories’ though, whatever the circumstances.

I’ve got a massive box of old letters, postcards, various memorabilia photos etc from my younger years in a storage cupboard so people do have these things (I’ve even got some of my late mum’s photos which includes an ex or two!).

But I’ve got plenty of photos of friends and family and so on from those times. I think most people have. So I don’t really see why it’s a problem to bin a couple of photos of an ex.

I never had any physical photos of exes, only ones on my phone. I've been with my DH 10 years, so they're not still going to be on my phone. I've never really thought about it but I wouldn't want reminders of people who made me unhappy and are an ex for a reason.

I took a biro to their faces 😆

I don't have time or energy to go through the 40k photos on my cloud to delete very man I've dated or slept with over the past 20 years!

I don’t want memories of my exes after how they treated me. They were all bastards, every single one of them, each in different ways. No thanks.

I'm pretty sure I still have photos of exes somewhere, although there weren't many as yes, you had to go to the effort of having a camera, and getting them developed. After all, we were together, it was a part of my life, I don't want to lose all my memories of that time just because they were there.

Mind you, with my most recent ex, I didn't go out of my way to chuck any stuff he left when he moved out - still wear the occasional hoodie or joggers he left behind (6 years ago!) because why would I throw away perfectly good clothes (or whatever else)

DW was only real relationship so no photos of ex to speak of, but I remember finding it particularly off putting in the early stages of our relationship when her bed was still surrounded by pictures of her ex

Any photos I have are mine to do with as I choose. I don’t delete any camera roll pictures of exes as it’s my history and memories. Some of them were good memories. I know at least one ex has deleted everything to try and erase me from his life. But that’s more about him and his behaviour really.
I wouldn’t flaunt any ex and don’t have physical photos of any in my house but if you look on my socials far back enough you’ll probably see some. Only if you’re friends with me though, nothing is public. My friends know my history anyway so who would I be deleting things for?
Any man who wanted me to delete something I don’t regularly look at would be raising huge red flags.
The only exception was some studio photography as a family which I gave to my ex when we divorced.

I didn’t delete them. Not normal photos of us together. I never had any naked ones or the like but I would obviously delete those.