(Jokey) medical mishaps

[Wordsareimportant]

Have you ever had an over the counter ‘medical mishap’?

Thought I’d change things up a bit and bought Anusol with added aloe Vera - OMG why does it feel like I’ve rubbed tingly toothpaste in my crack? Even made my husband try it to make sure I wasn’t going mad (that’s love, that is..) and he could only describe it as ‘minty’ 😂

So.. tell me… what have you ever purchased that came with a little surprise… or should have had more of a ‘warning’?! (Jokes, obviously)

No stories of my own, sorry, but I do enjoy reading the Amazon reviews for laxatives. This one is for Dulcolax and had me in stitches (I also think there might be a bit of a review competition going on for the best laxative stories)…

”Ok so this is coming from the queen of dulcalax.
Unfortunately I can't do a no2 myself without help so every other day I prepare for battle.
I always make sure I'm going nowhere once I swallow arnie in a bottle.
When my bottom decides to go to war with the toilet I make sure I have 3 things
1....soft and strong toilet roll
2....wet wipes
3....a nappy
So after quite a few hours my stomach sounds like Reagan from the Exorcist is fighting her way around my gut and then oh no...TOILET NOW!!!
The cramps are painful, the noise my gut is making sounds like my organs are at war.
The sweating is like your ass is iceskating on the rim and now the fun is about to start.
Well the only way I can describe it is hot larvae whilst your rusty bullet hole resembles the Japanese flag.
Once you have emptied half of your body weight down the pan you find yourself worried that's not the only thing down there and I find myself rummaging around for my kidneys and spleen.
I'm pretty sure at 1 point I seen a bit of kidney down there too that's how powerful this stuff is.
So if you are constipated then this is the daddy max, its powerful and moves everything out including your organs.
I suggest wearing a nappy pad in bed as this can work without warning but it certainly does it's job”