Do you often find yourself taking a different view to the majority?

[Waterpush]

Sometimes I feel like I belong in an alternate reality, when I strongly disagree with what everyone around me seems to think.

The most recent example is two single people at a club I belong to. He's a man in his late 40s who is always "nice" and smiley. Everyone thinks he's one of the good guys, he gives me the creeps. He's had several relationships over the years and always seems to be head over heels within a few weeks.

Recently he was dating a woman from the club. She is early 30s, but seems much much younger. I'd guess there are some learning difficulties. She seems pleasant enough, but posts a lot on SM about her MH, depression and anxiety. To me she seems very vulnerable.

Anyway they went out a few times, she found it (him?) all a bit much and told him so.

He is apparently heartbroken and "everyone" seems to think she treated him very badly, having been "all over him" at a party at the start of it all, and he's the injured party.

I think WTF did he expect, and hope she's OK...

I know none of my business etc and I've no intention of of getting involved, except three different people have now told me how terribly she treated him and all I can respond is she seems vulnerable to me.

It was literally 3/4 weeks!

I've been dumped a few times when i was younger after short relationships. I remember feeling a bit gutted for a couple of days and then moving on. I didn't bitch about the person to others.

I see TV programmes about men who react angrily when they are dumped and make life hell or even kill the woman who dumped them. 2 -3 women are killed per week in the UK and them leaving a man is the most dangerous time.

It's ridiculously misogynistic that "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" is an expression and not "hell hath no fury like a man scorned."

Obviously I hope the woman at your club won't be such an extreme case, but why is he bad mouthing her about ending a very short relationship. She is allowed to!

I know, my only thoughts, when people have raised it with me, are I'm really glad she was "strong" enough to say so, if it wasn't working for her. I don't know how she delivered the news, so maybe that's the issue, but regardless, good for her, I say!

On Mumsnet, about 99% of the time.

In real life, much less.

That. I think my brain must work completely differently to a lot of people on here and it's something that I constantly need to remember.

I have learned over the years not to share too many opinions and to try not to solicit too many either because I am a bit like you. I have really good pattern recognition skills because they are required for my job and so it is not unusual for me to realise and recognise things quickly.

I personally feel it is better for people to figure things out at their own pace rather than challenging pre-existing beliefs.

Yeah it’s a creepy gap. It’s all a bit weird

Yes. I often find I haw a different view to the majority of people in my area. I’m in outer London. The ULEZ (London scheme for charging for journeys made by polluting vehicles) was extended from central London to all of London. Pretty well everyone around here was outraged because, apparently, “we don’t have pollution here”. We do. I actually monitor it sometimes and it is often quite bad in very hot weather.

I also do not agree with casual racism, which usually starts with “I’m not racist but….”. I know plenty of people who seem generally kind, friendly and honest but will say things like they don’t like people on the bus talking in foreign languages or they’ll suddenly announce that black people like making a particular sound, or whatever.

Me. But less about significant things like that. I’m more, uber rational about things other people feel much more emotional about. I’m a bit detached, perhaps?
I’m amazed by the inconsistency of people.
I’m constantly taken aback about things other people care strongly about, like filing your nails in public. I had no idea that was a terrible offence. And dry skin on your feet, in sandals. So what?

He’s late 40s and was dating a young early 30s woman with potential learning disabilities?

He’s a predator and then some.

In your case OP I wonder if it's a example of how so many women seem primed to emotionally coddle men.

I would agree with you about Ulez. I’m surprised how resistant people are to things that are making the environment healthier.

Not sure about your casual racism thing. I dislike foreign languages when I’m out and about, but I don’t care what their race is. I’m as irritated by loud groups speaking French, German or something I don’t recognise. I think it’s closer to misophonia than racism. My brain works overtime trying to process what’s going on.

Well I think so, but why am I the only one amongst those who know him?!

No it isn’t