Would I be unreasonable to cancel a girls trip after daughter has been unwell?

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My daughter has been unwell and spent 2 nights in hospital over the weekend. She is home now but with a new diagnosis that we are all trying to get our head around and will need ongoing support and treatment with follow up appointments this week and next. I am meant to be going on a girls trip this weekend but I don’t feel I can go and be away from her at this stage while this is so new and fresh. Would I be unreasonable to cancel? There’s 5 friends going so the trip will go on as planned.

It would depend if she has her dad around to support her (and also you don’t mention if she is a child or an adult). Absolutely would not leave an 8 year old with grandparents after receiving a big diagnosis to go off on a jolly. I would probably leave a 16 year old with her dad who is perfectly capable of driving her to hospital appointments (you could call in to join the appointment). I’d definitely leave a 23 year old to get on with managing her own health needs.

Yes of course stay at home.

Completely depends on a lot more information! How old is she? Who will be looking after her? What is the diagnosis? How is she in herself? Honestly unless it’s serious, you’re only away for a couple nights

I wouldn’t go. You won’t be able to relax and enjoy yourself while you still processing what has happened. A new diagnosis is a big thing to get yourself used to and often comes with new routines and things to get used to as well as the mental toll. Being in hospital is exhausting too.

I would stay home but make some time for yourself over the weekend even if it’s just a coffee in peace

As others have said how old is she, who wi she be left with? How far away will you be?

You can cancel going for any reason you want as long as you have paid your way up front.

Depends on her age, who she'll be staying with and the severity of the diagnosis.

agree with the pps that her age, the diagnosis, who will be with her, are all relevant factors. If she's 16plus, will be with her dad and the diagnosis is something like diabetes or coeliac disease then cancelling would feel a bit OTT. If she's 8 and has been diagnosed with cancer of course I wouldn't be going!

But generally, yes if I was your friend I'd completely understand.

How old is she, what’s the diagnosis and does she know?

Regardless of my child’s age I’d prioritise them over my friends and I would expect my friends to do the same

Totally agree with all of this and presumably if you decide not to go then you've already paid for your part in trip anyway.

an older child may need a different kind of support but it doesn’t mean they don’t need support. Actually an older child may well feel more hurt about a parent going off on a jolly when they are dealing with a lot.

Only the OP, along with the child and family. decide what is best for them.

Age? Who will she be staying with? How much money will be lost?

What age is she and will her dad be looking after her? If whatever the diagnosis / prognosis is stable and the follow up is things like a blood test then I would probably go.

Sounds as if you've had a lot of things going on OP, lots to get your head around, I'm sorry to hear this.
Going away with your friends is likely to be a distraction for you which would be good for you, provided it was a nice distraction and not something that you would spend most of your time feeling regretful about.
If you already feel misgivings about going you might want to reconsider but you know your friends the best if they're going to be supportive of you while still encouraging you to enjoy yourself.
Personally I wouldn't go but that's just me. I could never put my feelings above that of my sick child especially if there's a diagnosis that you are going to have to come to terms with.
I'm not saying your friends won't miss you but you say there are five friends going, so....
You don't say how old your child is but if your gut says to stay with her, that's probably what you should do.

If you have to ask here, you don't want to go, so don't.

I think as long as as it doesn’t really cause any additional cost to others then it’s fine to cancel.

i could do with a weekend away. if theres a place going spare, count me in

I wouldn't go, but I wouldn't judge anyone if they did. You have to go with what your daughter wants - is she old enough to say stay/go?

This is what I think too. Unless you are the goalkeeper of a netball team with no sub at the World Cup it might be different but surely your friends will understand!?

It’s for a weekend though? When my child was in hospital for an extended period of time with something fairly serious, there were times when a couple days at a time his dad stayed with him, and a couple of days when I did without the other visiting. The op doesn’t seem to be coming back, but the op is going on a very short trip and the child is already back home so assuming the worst is over and now it’s just case of adjusting treatment now they’ve diagnosed the issue. Obviously I’m making scenarios up but it could be the child’s just had their first asthma attack and needs monitoring and inhalers sorting. They could have diagnosed diabetes which will now be constantly monitored. We need an age and diagnosis before accusing the op of not prioritising her child

I’m not accusing the OP of abandoning her child, I was saying that’s what I would do as a parent and as a health professional as it sounds like her child will need lots of support and perhaps the other parent might not feel they could deal with it alone as a new diagnosis ….

Not at all unreasonable. Plus would you really be able to relax and enjoy yourself while you're all adapting to the diagnosis. I am sure your friends will understand. I hope your daughter is getting better.

Under 13 probably would cancel
older child I would go on how they are feeling about.
Also depends on how good dad is.

If you don't feel comfortable going, and don't think you could enjoy it in the circumstances, then don't go. Your friends will understand.